Re: Nikkah without Rukhsati
**Translation:
**I have a question…I know my husband for 3 years. This will be our fourth year together. I am a divorcee and I have a child. This is my second marriage.
My problem is…I met my husband in 2009 and since we liked each other, he managed to convince his family and in 2010 his family agreed to our engagement. Because him and I spent a lot of time together, my family insisted that we get our Nikkah. In 2011 (after 13 months) we got our Nikkah done.
Now my family wants the rhuksathi to happen but his family keeps making excuses and trying to delay it. At the time our Nikkah, my husband had asked for 1 year before we would get our rhuksati done.
Now when my parents came from a Pakistan to fix a date (they had iinformed them in advance that they would be coming to fix a date), the guy and his family kept making excuses.
My father threatened that if my husband and his family would not give his daughter her right then it’s best to leave us. My husband responded by saying how his mother is angry because his wife doesn’t cater to her whims etc.
Now after constant pestering, they (husband and his family) now say they don’t want a divorce but if you guys want a divorce then go ahead.
They’re only saying this so that we don’t complain about haq-e-mahr. That’s why he won’t divorce me. And after Nikkah…pore Eik tak woh biwi par apna haq bar poor leraha tha.. aur usse eik taraf se Islam aur Nikah ke baad apni biwi ke upar ke haq faida le liya!! (I dunno what this line means)
Now he says he doesn’t have money. We’ll have a grand rhukhsati. (which is not my condition, it’s his and his family’s condition)
Right now he lives with his mother and sister and elder brother but he lives in another city because of work. The elder brother makes a better salary than my husband but the brother does not help or care for his mother at all. All of this he’s left for his younger brother to do.
My MIL, who has a 2-bedroom home is now asking for a 3-4 bedroom flat or house . My husband is afraid after looking at all the costs that he’s going to have to cover. My husband keeps delaying all this but it’s my right to have him bring me to his home and take care of me. Despite this, he demands his own right as a husband.
At this time he says, I’m not ready. I don’t have money. My mother is angry. This…that…Give me one more year…after that we’ll try to fix a date.
He won’t give me time nor honour. He’s also said that if I’m not okay with this, I’m free to do whatever.
My parents are very sad and troubled by this and say that if my husband is like this now…once you marry him he’ll let you be humiliated at the hands of his mother. It’s better if you get a divorce or khula now.
All of my close friends say that this family will treat you poorly because of your weakness (being a divorcee). What can I do? I’m also afraid that if I focr them, they’ll take me and my son to their home and treat us poorly.
*;TLDR Divorcee woman gets Nikkah done with man. Over a year has passed by and the man and his family won’t let rhuksati happen.
*Apologies for any errors in translation.