Hi guys, would like some insight on this particular issue from your experiences.
My fiance and i have known each other for about nearly 1.5 yrs Alhamdhulilah and love each other very much. It was arranged but we grew incredibly close (you could say love-ranged?!).
Initially we thought we could do everything together in the summer i.e. nikkah/rukhsati and walima. However due to circumstances financially fiance has proposed the idea of us postponing it for another year. Initially i was upset (since we’re both dying to get married) he spoke to me and made me understand why we possibly have to consider this. We have to think realistically.
Anyway if we were to opt for this method it would work out anyway as my education would be finally complete by then inshallah.
My questions is: what are the experiences and effects of having a nikkah now and a rukhsati/walima a year? what are the pros and cons of having a gap?
Still if u ppl want a grand marriage ceremony with all traditional rasmz, then a one year waiting time will not be that bad. U both can go on dinners, etc and enjoy ur nikah relationship . but remember a girl’s dignity should be maintained as a virgin even if she is nikahofied, coz she is still living with her parents at their home.
Since it’s your fiancé suggesting this and not your parents (who I assume would be paying for the wedding), this leads me to think that your fiancé is having job issues and can’t afford for the two of you to live together (since you’re still in school). If I’m wrong, please correct me.
Why are you both dying to get married? If the reason is b/c you two want to start being sexually active, then my suggestion is to wait 1 more year. No birth control is 100% guaranteed. So if your fiance isn’t ready to support you as a wife right now, you two aren’t ready to start doing something that could potentially lead to pregnancy (especially since you’re still in school and so close to graduating).
Once you have your nikkah done, you’re married. As in, a 100% husband and wife islamically- everything else is just bells and whistles. Don’t personally agree with the Pakistani obsession with delaying things when it comes to weddings.