Hey! I want to know if you girls (who are married) think it’s a good idea to have the Nikkah & shaadi/baarat on the same day?
I want my Nikkah to be held at the Masjid, my parents nikkah was at the Masjid so I want mine to be there as well, I’m thinking 10:00-ish? and then have the shaadi/baarat later that day?
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
v nice idea!! id do the same thing if i had a choice of the a masjid .. but same day regardless! PS. not married yet though .. its what i want .. nothing beats tht :)
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
oh cool!
I want it that way, but I was just wondering if there's enough time and so on ... I also want to wear something a bit more modest to Masjid then my decked out lehnga ... and different make-up etc
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
**though i'm not supposed to reply in this thread but i'll tell you anyways lol
in my village in India, shaadii was a 'one-day' event.
the baraat would arrive after fajar, nikaah would be solemnized at around 8 am after breakfast, baraatis would mingle with the girl's guests until lunch time at around 11 am and then they [the baaraatis] would go to another area where they would spend the rest of the afternoon. after asr namaaz at around 4 pm there would be 'julwa' ceremoney where the bride and thegroom will see each other in a mirror under her mahzar and then after the afternoon tea, ruKhsatii would take place...before maGhrib.**
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
ummm ... well people do it! .. 10 am is good .. if it happens then .. parlor around noon to 2pm whenever you are scheduled and then walah off to your ceremony :)
Having it one day before the baraat is not a bad idea .. but personally i wanted nikkah and barat same day for the excitement and then the valima with a gap to catch up on sleep lol .. yeah on my BIG day im worrying about my beauty sleep more than anything else lol
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
isn't the baraat and Nikaah the same day anyway? :/ 'baraat' is when the boys said come down..its not a 'event' as such? right?
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
thats a good thought
-DP
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
ive always seen it happen on the same day so go for it!
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I had my Nikkah around noon at home, reception and rukhsati later in the evening at the hotel.
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
There's nothing wrong with that if you can swing it. Lots of people do it so why can't you? The Nikah is usually attended by close family and friends so its not like all of your guests are coming out twice in the same day. I think its great.
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
ive always seen it happen on the same day so go for it!
same here...all of the wedding i've ever been to (here in the US that is!) have always been like this:
invitation start time 7:00-7:30 pm (either with or without a cocktail hour)
arrival of baraat (groom's side) 8'ish
arrival of bride/nikkah 8:30 pm (most wedding here have the bride and groom together on the stage while nikkah is being preformed)
dinner/cake cutting- 9:00 pm
and then in the past couple of years, various slide shows, speeches by friends/family are now taking place during dinner
rukhsati..usually happens around 11:00 pm
I think I've only been to one wedding where the nikkah was earlier in the day followed by the reception/rukhsati in the evening.
One exception to this....I have quite a few Ismaili friends, and their weddings ALWAYS have their wedding ceremony in their jamatkhana around 4:30 pm, followed by a string of useless rasams at an offsite location, culminating in a joint reception later that night......
EDIT---absolutely no offense meant to ANY Ismaili Guppans who may be out there!!! Like I said, I have quite a few Ismaili friends (including my best friend, and I was her bridesmaid for her wedding!) I have just never understood all the ceremonies, very different from what most pakistani's are used to!
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
Yeh, most couples have it during the shaadi function in front of all the guests.
I guess the purpose of splitting it up is so that the nikkah can be in the mosque.
No offence to the OP, but I don't see the point of conducting the nikkah in the mosque and then having a regular pakistani function later on with all the things it entails.
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
Yeah usually when a couple does a wedding they just do the valima which is the big feast so to speak ^
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
Yeh, most couples have it during the shaadi function in front of all the guests. But what to do when you don't want 300-500 random people at your nikkah? Doing it in advance makes sense then, and doing it in the mosque just makes it more of a special moment.
I guess the purpose of splitting it up is so that the nikkah can be in the mosque.
No offence to the OP, but I don't see the point of conducting the nikkah in the mosque and then having a regular pakistani function later on with all the things it entails.
**I understand your perspective, but sometimes you have to work with what you have. I personally want a separate nikkah because I want it to be private with only close family, followed by a valima. My fiance, however, really wants to have a Baraat function because his family is particular about the rasams it entails. Thus we'll probably be having the separate nikkah, followed by the baraat reception, and a small valima the next day.
Just because you have a nikkah in the masjid doesn't mean you can't have a reception as well.
**
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
It seems like it's more normal then I thought it was! yay! :) Thank you everyone for replying. My fiance and I are the first to get married in both families, so obviously both families want to make a huge deal out of the wedding, If I had my way everything would be simple, no mehndi, no fazool stuff only Nikkah and walima but everyone is so excited so they can have what they want, and I can have what I want ... The only thing that really matters to me is that the nikkah takes place in a masjid and in a modest way, so no lavish decor, no decked out suits etc ... simple simple simple ... :)
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
I was watching this program and this buzurg (old uncle) brought up such a good point..he said I do not understand why people have started having nikkah privately nowadays. He said I wish more poeple have nikkah done when all the baratis and guests are present because after Nikkah when the Qazi sahab does dua you never know whose dua gets Qabool and it is just more blessings for the couple when more people are doing dua for them. My sister (whoz getting married soon and was set on having nikkah done a day before) has totally decided to have Nikkah when she arrives at the banquet hall when all guets are there. In the end it's your day and you should do what makes you happy. So if you want Nikkah part to be a more intimate affair then go for it :)
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
^This was the the point I was going to make as well.
It's just my opinion that I feel there is no point doing nikkah in the mosque, then a shaadi/barat function (which just then exists to carry out rasms) and then a walima. The middle function just seems totally pointless to me.
If the couple don't want a few hundred 'random' people witnessing their nikah, then there is really no point inviting them for the rest either.
It just irks me when I see that the doodh pelay (sp?) takes precedence over the nikah. The point of the people gathering should be to witness the nikah and hear the sermon.
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
^^That's fair. I agree with you Stoppit. The baraat event really becomes useless, all about rasams. I'm trying to get my fiance's family to understand this, but at the end of the day I won't have the final say.
But I guess issues come in when one does not really have that much say over their own wedding events. I would love to have a nikkah in the masjid, a valima with 75 of my closest family and friends, and call it a day. However, with my wedding also being the first in both our families, and with his family being the "hulla gulla" type, I cannot avoid having the traditional mehndi/baraat/valima wedding.
I don't have a choice, we cannot invite less than 300 people to the wedding. So now the choice I have is to either do the nikkah at the baraat in front of these 300 ppl, many of whom will probably be having their own side conversations, not paying attention, children will be running around screaming in the hall, and I will probably cry throughout the entire nikkah, washing off all the hundreds of dollars spent on my makeup. No thanks!
I want to do the nikkah in the masjid very simply, like BeautifulSunshine does, because it will be the ONLY moment during the wedding that I can really have my way, and it will be MY moment. Simple clothes, focusing on the gravity and magic of the moment.
Of course to each their own. And again I reallyyyyy wish I could have a teeny-tiny nikkah and valima, but alas, Pakistani parents won't let it happen!
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
^ if you opt to have your nikkah around the time of a namaaz then chances are you will have hundreds of people witness your union (amazing) and who will be present for the dua's made for you (also amazing). seems like a good deal!
Re: Nikkah - Shaadi/Baarat
I had my nikkah done in 2009 which was well before my rukusati and we had it at our mosque and had a small reception (150) afterwards. Fast forward 2 years later we had the formal rukusati with all the mehendi, baraat, valima. I mean it would have been better to have the nikkah at the baraat but that wasnt possible and I know that some people avoid the nikkah on the baraat because its too much crammed in one day. One of my friends, her mulana didn't come until 9pm when the nikkah was supposed to start at 6:30pm!