yes thats true like madeehap sed it just saves time 2 b honest and we just want everything 2 go according 2 plan, i understand the few days before thing but having ur nikkah done a year b4 the rukhsati kinda is strange..... sum ppl have they nikah done in pakistan apply 4 visa papers so they partner gets they visa then do the whole rukhstai thing here....maybe?? iv seen that happen tho..
madeehap sweety wen u getting marrid? n yes im the same very nervous, ill tell u not 2 b but its just words lol. im thinking if i have the nikah done in the morning or afternoon then the mehndi will be in the evening....wot say? u have ne other ideas
im getting married in august and me and my fiance reli want our nikkah on the mehndi day (in the morning) as we wud like it to b a personal thing- families at home, i think its more intimate and means more rather than it being a public show thing... my family is ok with it but my sister in law is kicking up a fuss saying 'no that shudnt happen..the shadi day becomes pointless' she convinced my fiance and his mum that it should be on the main day...even though his mum dnt mind wen it happens..
i was a bit upset and spoke to her saying that we would really like to have it at home but she seems to want her way.... should i leave it? or should i ask mum to talk to his mum...i dont want to cause problems..but i no that the baraat will b really late (theyv told us already)...please help
tell your sister in law to butt out. its not her wedding, its yours. if the parents dont have an issue with it, and neither you nor your fiance do either, then what is her problem?
tell your fiance to step in and tell his sister, politely but firmly, that BOTH of you would prefer doing it on the mehendi as it is your day and that is how you want it. end of story. if she doesn't like it, thats really too bad, but its not up to her to impose her opinion on you.
has your fiance not spoken to her at all about this?
also, i've been to a nikah in a masjid where the groom was sitting up front with the imam and men, and the women were behind this barrier with the bride. the imam came over with his mike, asked my friend if she did, she said yes. and then he went over to the groom, gave him a bit of a talking to about marriage which was funny, then asked him. he said yes. everyone congratulated everyone else, it was over. the whole other stuff about haq meher and all that was done in private with just the brides parents, the groom and his parents, and the imam.
for my nikkah, both the hubs and i were in the same room with only our closest family and friends, and we sat on either side of the imam. its a really big, really important step that we were taking and there was no way it was going to be segregated. i just feel the whole segregation thing is a bit unnecessary- why hide it like that from the bride/groom? why not let them witness each other's vows? they're going to be marrying each other and spending the rest of their lives together (hopefully), this is the first and most important step- there should be no sharma-o-fying involved in it. its not like they're taking their vows naked!
a friend of mine did that and it was sooo friggin' uncomfortable! they took the bride into a little room with just her parents and did the whole thing in secret, it seemed, and then came out and did with her fiance too. and the poor guy wasn't desi so he was so intimidated and confused and afraid that they would pull back and not let them get married or something. i felt horrible for him!
As funnie as it may sound…but i think they get the nikkah done seperately for the boy and girl so that when they are asked if they say yes for the wedding they dont have any pressure so its limited to the girl and some close people with her as oppose 2 having every1 around and i guess same for the boy:blush:
it can be done any way you want. for me personally i want everyone their to witness it i want to be a part of it! i would be so sad if i had to sign that paper alone in some room with my mom there! wth? lol thats just my personality though. so im doing it up there and we will be both sitting on stage.
I went to a wedding in new jersey.....and the nikkah was done right there in the hall..where everyone was sitting..after the nikkah the brides dupatta was lifted up a bit..and he gave her "huq meher" something in a jewelry pouch. It was intresting !
my cousin had her nikkah on the wedding day in the banquet hall on the stange in front of everyone. The haq mehr etc was not announced. The Imam was extremely nice and asked the fathers if their children consented to the marriage and then asked the bride and groom if they take each other to which they said yes. Then the Imam gave a speech, which he ended on an awesome joke.
The paperwork was filled out and signed while everybody was eating.
There's no need for the bride and groom to be in separate rooms.
We were forced to be separate. My wedding was in Karachi. My parents and his parents wanted us together, which is common in the US. However, it was impossible finding a maulvi to agree to it; and family members were not particularly supportive. My wedding was at the end of a long line of weddings, and by then both his father and my father were sick, so I just gave in. I was up in the bridal room.
i've seen it done every which way. in the hall, in the masjid, with the bride present, not present. and frankly i feel a little bit uncomfortable with the nikkah being done in front of everyone. i mean the khutba's nice and all, and outlines the rights of wife and husband, but at the same time, i dunno i just rather not listen to the whole how much haq meher you are giving/recieving, and the other stuff. it just gives an excuse for the aunties to gossip, that's all. besides, you need just a few witnesses for the nikkah, why have the rest of the wedding party view it as well?
I actually agree with khumar here ...shes said it straight and simple ..i dunt know what the fuss is about ..
but waisey .. islamically there is no problem either way be the bride and groom be in one room or seprate, but islamically it is PREFERRED that the groom is in the mosque and the bride is at her home, and guardians of the bride take the permission of her accpetance or Allah na karey her decline to the mosque and Nikah is done.. like khumar said its all about giving and taking in islamic terminology ''proposal and acceptance'' so long as thats there .. the Nikah is valid.
Simple! :)
ps. if anyone got further questions do ask freely, wud luv to help out on these sorta issues.
im getting married in august and me and my fiance reli want our nikkah on the mehndi day (in the morning) as we wud like it to b a personal thing- families at home, i think its more intimate and means more rather than it being a public show thing... my family is ok with it but my sister in law is kicking up a fuss saying 'no that shudnt happen..the shadi day becomes pointless' she convinced my fiance and his mum that it should be on the main day...even though his mum dnt mind wen it happens..
i was a bit upset and spoke to her saying that we would really like to have it at home but she seems to want her way.... should i leave it? or should i ask mum to talk to his mum...i dont want to cause problems..but i no that the baraat will b really late (theyv told us already)...please help
xx
leave it ..it will cause u hassle with her for the rest of ur married life...u could always try an have an anniv dinner just the 2 of u..believe me mum n dad still havent had a couple date married 2o odd yrs.family kids commitments.....life means compromise n hubby will love u for it