I wanna know about the Haq meher system.What amout it should be?? Is it necessary to write both types of haq meher in Nikkah-Nama i.e MOajjal and gair-Moajjal??
One more thing i wanna know is what conditions should a bride’s family write in the nikkah-nama for the safety of a girl’s future??
Please reply me with serious answers as it is very important for me…Thanks!
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
any amount, whatever the guy can afford. we didnt write any conditions, at the end of the day, THAT will not make a successful marriage, sometimes it can adversely affect it. we didnt write any, and that made a better impression on them. also im old and ugly enough to look after myself, so is any girl brought up in the west with a good education and good set of values given by her parents. for me personally, i feel the extra protection is needed maybe for more vunreble girls of a different background to us. but see, this wont mean that you will get this protection.
my haqq meher was quite alot, but so what? its not a life changing amount, and it wont make me happy if my marriage isnt working.
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
agree with nadz123....
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
**mahr kii adaayegii farz hai magar ham log khilvaaR karte haiN aur raqam apnii Haisiyat se baRh chaRh kar tai kar lete haiN taa k beTii kaa mustaqbil mustaHkam ho aur yeh taaveel pesh karte haiN k kaun saa laRke ko mahr adaa karnii hai. they tell the poor girl to defer the payment and she does. its like fooling oneself. mahr mubaasharat se qabl adaa karna farz hai isii liye raqam utnii hii honii chaahiye jitnii vo afford kar sake.
Allah ham sab ko hidaayat de...aameen**
any amount, whatever the guy can afford. we didnt write any conditions, at the end of the day**, THAT will not make a successful marriage, **sometimes it can adversely affect it. we didnt write any, and that made a better impression on them. also im old and ugly enough to look after myself, so is any girl brought up in the west with a good education and good set of values given by her parents. for me personally, i feel the extra protection is needed maybe for more vunreble girls of a different background to us. but see, this wont mean that you will get this protection.
my haqq meher was quite alot, but so what? its not a life changing amount, and it wont make me happy if my marriage isnt working.
right..but it may/or can get your marriage going if the amount is unaffordable for him to pay. this is something to consider
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
agreed with nads. My parents asked for minimum bcoz at the end of the day i can stand up on my own two feet and earn my own living alhamdulilah. I didnt care about the money neither did my family, all that matters is the successful marriage part. And neither was it written in my nikah nama. If u feel u need the security then definatly write it in the nikah papers coz that is a marriage contract where ur terms and conditions are set out clearly before u sign them.
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
Ok thnx for the information!
right..but it may/or can get your marriage going if the amount is unaffordable for him to pay. this is something to consider
i doubt it very much, how higher the amount will be, it will not save one's marriage, this is not basis of happy marriage, and maher is not meant for that at all. and its not black mail tool either!
many people use it as black mail, but would any one know how will you make the guy pay lets suppose he goes for divorce? how will one enforce this? or what if he doesnt divorce but instead just leave the wife and marry another one cause he cant afford the maher? would then high maher be practical or would have served as black mail tool?
a BIG NO!
I was pissed off with high maher demand from my in laws just before the nikkah and that for me lost respect for in laws from the day one.
i agree with nads123 it should be something that can be paid there and then! and no maher can guarantee a happy marriage. all i know i still have to pay my wife, though good thing is it was written in rupees as its depreciates in few years time it will be half or less in GBP then I will pay her ;)
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
hqa mehr should not be nominal ............amount
one scholar has suggested that it shud be qual to 3 or 4 months salary of groom
i doubt it very much, how higher the amount will be, it will not save one's marriage, this is not basis of happy marriage, and maher is not meant for that at all. and its not black mail tool either!
many people use it as black mail, but would any one know how will you make the guy pay lets suppose he goes for divorce? how will one enforce this*? or what if he doesnt divorce but instead just leave the wife and marry another one cause he cant afford the maher*? would then high maher be practical or would have served as black mail tool?
a BIG NO!
I was pissed off with high maher demand from my in laws just before the nikkah and that for me lost respect for in laws from the day one.
i agree with nads123 it should be something that can be paid there and then! and no maher can guarantee a happy marriage. all i know i still have to pay my wife, though good thing is it was written in rupees as its depreciates in few years time it will be half or less in GBP then I will pay her ;)
i did not say anything about the happy marriage..... ofcourse its not the basis...
....yeah... he can marry someone else ... but again u will still be labelled as 'being married ('not a 'divorcee') in a society. i hope u understand what i m trying to say... khair..
... and btw mehar should be decided well before the nikkah time.... its probably urs/ur family fault if they didnt ask how much mehar the other party is expecting from you. .....
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
My moajjal meher is jus 51 thousand rupees.My father demanded 1 lakh but my inlaws denied and said that 51 thousand will be perfect as the groom have to pay it on the wedding night .
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
but how do u know its 51 k?? your marriage is in december right?
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
Hey kinzz!! They decided the meher on my engagement and then write it in some kinda Ahad-Nama and it's fixed now.
I wanna know about the Haq meher system.What amout it should be?? Is it necessary to write both types of haq meher in Nikkah-Nama i.e MOajjal and gair-Moajjal?? One more thing i wanna know is what conditions should a bride's family write in the nikkah-nama for the safety of a girl's future?? Please reply me with serious answers as it is very important for me...Thanks!
When everything is said and done..........marraige is a business contract!
and Haq Mehr is the pre-nuptual agreement!
.....the rich and famous people of the West are just now catching on.........they all have pre-nuptual agreement signed before marraige!
So if you plan on staying in Pakistan...........and things do not work out then you should not expect any more than what you settled for plus any gifts of jewelry, car etc.
If you bring your fiance to the West, then local laws apply!
Good Luck!
:k:
Re: Nikkah Nama of a bride !
Like many of the posters have mentioned that if you are able to take care of your financial needs then you don't have the need to demand a big amount of haq mehar. It's true that Haq mehar cannot save a marraige and cannot buy you happiness. I was of same opinion and me and my parents agreed on the minimum amount of haq mehar but looking at someone in my inlaws I feel and realise the importance of haq mehar. she is no longer married to that man and is NOT WORKING also.... her parents are not very supportive so are her siblings (I and my husband give her money occassionaly so that she can meet atleast her medical expenses ) and if a girl is sooo dependent upon others than haq mehar agreed shd be adequate enuf to support her .
It's a girls right and the money shd be paid on wedding night by the groom but many grooms also make the girls forgoe the right and say haq mehar maaf karwa liya. Like my husband always called it a sinful act as he says that the wife is not halal for her husband till he gives her haq mehar.
And there is nothing in nothing that u can include in nikkah contract to secure your future esp if u r in Pakistan. Just pary to Allah for a happy marriage!