Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
angel eyes can u elaborate, i am sorry i didnt get you
sometimes when a person is older....they become used to living their life in a certain way. At that point ...when they get married .....it becomes harder to adjust their lifestyle for someone else.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
sometimes when a person is older....they become used to living their life in a certain way. At that point ...when they get married .....it becomes harder to adjust their lifestyle for someone else.
I agree wid u..
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
really u and me are so similar, i am in the same situation as you and he is my cousin too:) true yaha bhi bohat sakhtiyaan hai.,
thanks for the input i really liked reading your post! its good to know ur name is aisha too:)
and i am 19 right now:)
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
well let's look at it the other way around as well...... When a girl/guy is older.....she/he can be less willing to compromise, more stubborn, less likely to adjust well.......in other words....just plain ol' set in their ways.
There are pro's and con's to both.
if you're older, and more mature, yes you're settled in your ways but if you have half a brain and love your spouse and want your marriage to work, you compromise and you adjust and you do whatever it takes- both of you.
you shouldn't marry a young person just so you can mould them in your ways - later on, when they DO grow up and mature and realise what they missed out on, i.e., figuring things out themselves, it probably won't end well. plus everyone should get a chance to decide what they want from life and who they are.
to me, 18 is young simply because i can't even begin to imagine what marriage would be like for me when i was at that age because i was so immature. having said that, people get engaged at that age and married and live happily. i think its more your upbringing and your mindset and whether you were willing to get engaged when you did, that has more to do with how successful a marriage is, at any age, rather than the age itself.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Aisha: Ich weiß von etwa 2 Mädchen in der Familie, die an 18 geheiratet hat. Sie leben zum Glück noch. Sie sind zurück gegangen einzuschulen und hat ihre Junggesellen /Erziehung vollendet haben erhalten. Ich denke, dass das Heiraten von an 18 kein gutes Ding ist, aber Es alle hängt von Lage ab und braucht.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Aslamualikum.
gettin engaged at 18 is perfect.i mean if we see from Islamic point of view, Hazrat Aysha got married at the age of 10,what other example do we need.i mean that is the biggest example 4 us.so if any1 gettin engaged even at the age of 13,shud b ok.
but i totally understand u aisha, cz same thing happened with me ppl where like"abhi toh itni choti hai, mangni ker di" etc etc...... n naturally u get all the teasin n stuff, durin the engagement time.its jus tht u dont expect it from aunties,u more expect it from ur friends n cznz :) same happens with me all the elder ppl r like Woh
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Aslamualikum.
gettin engaged at 18 is perfect.i mean if we see from Islamic point of view, Hazrat Aysha got married at the age of 10,what other example do we need.i mean that is the biggest example 4 us.so if any1 gettin engaged even at the age of 13,shud b ok.
but i totally understand u aisha, cz same thing happened with me ppl where like"abhi toh itni choti hai, mangni ker di" etc etc...... n naturally u get all the teasin n stuff, durin the engagement time.its jus tht u dont expect it from aunties,u more expect it from ur friends n cznz :) same happens with me all the elder ppl r like "Woh theek hain". i guess its jus their pyaaaar :)
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
really u and me are so similar, i am in the same situation as you and he is my cousin too:) true yaha bhi bohat sakhtiyaan hai., thanks for the input i really liked reading your post! its good to know ur name is aisha too:)
and i am 19 right now:)
hehe.. really hau haye. than we shud help eachotha hehe.
haan yaar sakhti ki tu baat hi nah karo, my family or dads family side is a little bit strict and thinking is like 1995 or no no its more like 1875 time ki thinking haha. aha so u r 19 now well Im 22 now, so when r ya getting married??
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Aisha: Ich weiß von etwa 2 Mädchen in der Familie, die an 18 geheiratet hat. Sie leben zum Glück noch. Sie sind zurück gegangen einzuschulen und hat ihre Junggesellen /Erziehung vollendet haben erhalten. Ich denke, dass das Heiraten von an 18 kein gutes Ding ist, aber Es alle hängt von Lage ab und braucht.
hehe.. really hau haye. than we shud help eachotha hehe. haan yaar sakhti ki tu baat hi nah karo, my family or dads family side is a little bit strict and thinking is like 1995 or no no its more like 1875 time ki thinking haha. aha so u r 19 now well Im 22 now, so when r ya getting married??
Furqan:
oh wirklich zwei Mädchen in Ihrer Familie haan, gut thats, was mit mir geschieht. dankbar ist Ehe nicht wo auf den Karten im Moment
angel falls: true, i mean we are cousins on top of that everything has been done but still they are really strict. my mom does not mind as its her sister's son but dad is very strict. you know one thing my mom and dad are also cousins.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Furqan: oh wirklich zwei Mädchen in Ihrer Familie haan, gut thats, was mit mir geschieht. dankbar ist Ehe nicht wo auf den Karten im Moment
angel falls: true, i mean we are cousins on top of that everything has been done but still they are really strict. my mom does not mind as its her sister's son but dad is very strict. you know one thing my mom and dad are also cousins.
hau haye.. yaar same situation here. even my mum doesnt mind and its her sisters son to just like yours yani meri khala ka beta haha and u know what.. my mum and dad are alsoooo cousins hahaha.
well mum mind or doesnt minde ab kya faida is baarey mein bhais karna. mum said baas nikkah huva hai rukhsathi nahi huvi, hum milsakthe hai logo ke samne lekin akele bahir kabhi nahi jasakhte.. ouuff im tired of this thinking.
inshallah my kids unki khulli chutti hehe jo marzi karey Im going to fit a spion camera on them hahaha.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
OMG:eek: you are kidding right so we both got nikahfied when we were 19, i still am
our names are aisha
we are both hooked to our cousins
ur is also khala ke beta, mine too
did i miss anything?
oh yeah both of our parents are cousins!!! tell me whats ur hubby’s name lol
fat chance it would be zainal rizwan right?
same here rukhsati ka ratta laga hoya hai!! i mean wth is that!!
lol we have so much in common, did i miss anything:)
so what are u doing right now?
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
haha yah we got a lot of things in common.
well mine hubbys name is majid so thank GOD dono ka name ek jaisa nahi hai hehe. so what did ya mum or dad say about nikkah or unki soch kya hai about milna after nikkah?? why cant u hang around with ur hubby gal??
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
lol yeah if u had somehow said zain or rizwan then they would have thought we were multinicks of each other lol
just you know we are very very very conservative family so my daddy doesnt like it... even though i am wondering he argues on small things and gives permission for big ones lol
like in pak when i had my surgery after i came home i was on the bed and rizwan was sleeping right next to me on the floor lol
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
Being committed to someone for the rest of your life from such a young age shudders
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
^yes shumi it happens
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
I'm sure it does :)
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
:)
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
I accept it from a religious point of view, otherwise, had it not been recommended by religion, I would have been strong opposer of early marriages, especially in contemporary society.
My point against would have been: There is no substitute for education and there should not be any marriage unless ones education is complete. After education, people's pov change and an earlier commitment might look foolish later. Also I think the idea that early marriage reduces young people getting astray is not applicable today. Most men and women are not submissive to each other and ones own pov bears weight in daily life. More often than not, that becomes a point of contention in marriages. People getting married early might start to feel guilty about making wrong decision early in their lives. This can, I think, lead to married people getting astray.
There are numerous other reasons, on which I can write about and whenever I try to balance the good and bad of early marriages, the bad side always weighs down.
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
My point against would have been: There is no substitute for education and there should not be any marriage unless ones education is complete. After education, people's pov change and an earlier commitment might look foolish later. Also I think the idea that early marriage reduces young people getting astray is not applicable today. Most men and women are not submissive to each other and ones own pov bears weight in daily life. More often than not, that becomes a point of contention in marriages. People getting married early might start to feel guilty about making wrong decision early in their lives. This can, I think, lead to married people getting astray.
bingo!
Re: Nikkah/Mangni at 18!
education can always be completed …some people complete their education or even further it later on in life. I have seen mothers in their 40s that have decided to go to law school etc.
However, in our culture the best rishtas come when you are young (i hate to say that but it’s the truth according to my observation)…as you get older you start having less options. Unfortunately guys dont have a problem with marrying girls their own age (give or take a yr of two)…it’s their mama’s that want bahus that are young. 
Anyway the way I see it…when a good oppurtunity arises (when it comes to marriage) one should take it! Education and career can always come later and one can do it while they are married IF they have the drive to do it.