Nikkah a year before the Reception OR at the Reception?! Pros & Cons?

[GroomDoc]

Re: Nikkah a year before the Reception OR at the Reception?! Pros & Cons?

Thanks for all the positive feedback and input guys…I can’t respond to everyone individually but you guys have given me more to think about which is a good thing…it’s better to understand both options.

@sfm123

A friend of mine did the nikkah 6 months before the rukhsati/reception, and ended pregnant on her ruksati…not the best way to leave your ‘family home’… people inevitably talked!

Another of my reatives had her nikkah done to a guy who couldn’t get into the country after 5 years and thereafter was banned, she ended up a divorcee for no reason…

Another relative was treated like …well just nothing… on her wedding day by her hubby because he had already had his excitement gone from the whole marriage part.

To me once the nikkah is done, that’s it, the rest is just formalities and culture.

The husband is fully responsible for his wife as soon as nikkah happens, but this new arrangement of nikkah and reception separate (for reasons other than necessity) gives an excuse for him to shrug off his responsibilities to her parents who no longer owe any responsibility in her care. I find it kinda silly personally- Nikkah is done, the marriage is done- all this custom of reception a year later is culture getting in the way** and making life more difficult - which is NOt what Islam is about!!** Islamically a man and wife shud not be seperated unless necessary- these days it’s just atrend, or way to fix the girl/guy down because engagements can be broken easily.

It’s something that may not be prohibitted, but I truly don’t believe in it- it’s like screaming out to the world the marriage isnt complete with only a nikka - when in reality it is!

A reception is just a party - a celebration, can things not be complete without partying about it and feeding millions of people? Nikkah is the real things girls- the party after is wonderful yes, but it’s no part of the real entity of marriage- when you p[ractice this way people who are non muslims believe marriage in Islam is complicated and compare- trust me I’ve seen them getting confused and that IS NOT a message we should be sending, that our religion makes life difficult!!

sorry about the rant but I believe there is seriously somethign wrong with it since I have had many people suffering the backlash of it…

^Sorry to hear you’ve witnessed such bad experiences with Nikah before marriage. It’s definitely an eye-opener b/c these things do happen and maybe it’s easy for us to ignore it sometimes until we know of someone who actually had a bad experience.

I agree that it can make things more complicated sometimes, like pregnancy, but the other 2 examples of the guy who couldn’t get in the country for 5 years and the other guy who didn’t treat his wife the way she deserved on their wedding day are probably more rare cases than what most would experience.

There are a lot of practical reasons why people choose to do the Nikah before, as we’ve already discussed, but I agree that people shouldn’t abuse the concept and make things more difficult.

If anything, though, I think the people who have a Nikah before are doing it to make their lives easier and less complicated. And that’s definitely encouraged in Islam like you said. So I don’t think everyone who does it before is making it more complicated for themselves or making the religion more complicated. The intention is actually the opposite in most cases…but I DO see your point b/c the concept is abused and makes things worse SOMETIMES.

Yes, I can see how the concept of separate Nikah and ruksathi can confuse things for non-Muslims, but honestly, there are other things non-Muslims should want to learn about our religion before they sweat over the Nikah/ruksathi issue. A Wedding reception/Ruksathi is a cultural issue and that can easily be explained to any non-Muslim. If they are truly interested in learning about the religion there are plenty of other wonderful things they will hear about, study, read, and come across.

In any case, thanks for your input b/c it’s good to get both sides of the story.