It was very sad for me to read how a large number of South Asian women have been putting up with domestic abuse mainly because they feel it will bring about shame to their families.
It makes me sad to realize that with the progression of time our culture is still stuck in the dark ages and tends to be draconian at times.
Not to say that domestic abuse does not take place amongst other North Americans, but the way our culture and quite a number of families forcefully send women back to such abusive lives is pathetic to say the least.
Women seem to be treated as mere objects in our culture. At times it’s the parents forcing their daughter(s) into marriage, then husbands abusing, husbands and in-laws wanting grand children (sons in particular), then the wife being demanded to cook and clean often with little help.
I don’t think women in our culture always get the respect and kind treatment that they deserve.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
I disagree that culture is to be blame. Do you honestly think that if these women were American or Canadian by birth, blone and white skin, they would have not been abused or if than talked instantly?
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
MWAP, I never said women of other ethnic backgrounds are not abused in North America. However, it's sad to see our own women keeping up with such abuse in the name of honour or out of fear of bringing about shame to their families.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
Not all families operate like that, if this ever happened to any of my sisters/cousins, the guy would be in the hospital the next day. There are more people like me in our culture than the kind that think of only their so called honor.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
I think the reason behind is that we do not have a active support system in our scoeity for women to speak up against abuse and harrasment. It is not in our mentality to do it, we always think of ways in sorting out things the domestic way. Moreover, domestic violence is not nationally recognized as a problem in Pakistan, thus people do not make an effort in tacking it.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
MWAP, I don't see how sorting problems domestic ways should equate to sending a woman back to an abusive husband. I'm sure you must be familiar with how divorce/separation is severely looked down upon in our culture.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
Here you have an example of women in Canada who still refuse to go to authorities and report crime. Do you think if she was blonde and white, she would have gone or went for divorce?
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
It's not so much blaming culture, but simply pointing out that we are different...and consequently, whatever help is available our women tend to think it doesn't apply to them. Nor have we developed any kind of support system ourselves, because we arrogantly think such problems lie outside of our cultural groups...indeed, the woman's family wouldn't even think much of the abuse for this very reason.
In a sense culture is to blame...a culture of denial.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
Needless to say, the only logical outcome is a divorce. Now, how can your noble attitude help your sisters/cousins in this scenario when they try to remarry? No, there are definite problems in the comminity I'm afraid...
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
It makes me sad to realize that with the progression of time our culture is still stuck in the dark ages and tends to be draconian at times.
Not to say that domestic abuse does not take place amongst other North Americans, but the way our culture and quite a number of families forcefully send women back to such abusive lives is pathetic to say the least.
Women seem to be treated as mere objects in our culture. At times it's the parents forcing their daughter(s) into marriage, then husbands abusing, husbands and in-laws wanting grand children (sons in particular), then the wife being demanded to cook and clean often with little help.
I don't think women in our culture always get the respect and kind treatment that they deserve.
I have to agree with every fact written in this article about how the women are treated in our society. It is so sad, a plain truth.
But what I disagree to is the exaggerated sense of threat to women and the inappropriateness in stating the facts.
Not all women are "forced" into marriage, not all husbands abusing wives, what is wrong in husbands and in laws wanting kids? Isn't it one of the purpose of marriage, to raise good families as funtional and structural units of the society? Yeah, there should be nobody "dictating" on this issue about when and how many kids one couple should have.
When stating wife demanded to cook and clean, I wonder what is the right perspective of it, what is the reference point? A famliy where only men work or those where both man and woman work? A lot of women don't want to work after marriage and want to be a homemaker.....
So I think facts are picked up that, these happen but are applied to the problem in an inappropriate way. Certain regular functions have been presented making them "issues"
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
I don't recall myself stating that every single husband and set of in-laws are bad. I've come across enough examples in real life and it's extremely sad. To downplay the problems experienced by South Asian women is uncalled for.
I firmly believe that South Asian culture has a lot to do with it.
Re: News article on domestic abuse amongst South Asian women in Canada
Sadiyah, you have no facts and rationalization to prove as such. Let me explain it to you where you are wrong. The western cultural that most impressionable guppies over here droll over did not emerge overnight but was a work of constant change and awareness. Just a decade ago, this was the same cultural who believe that if you touch an Aids patient you will develop aids, now things are different. Reason is awareness, there was a grass root level movement to tackle this problem, recongnize it and make the victims assimilate without any discrimination.
This is what we need, we are not bad people our cultural has nothing to do with it. People make a cultural, people are society...we need an effort not only overseas but national to first recongnize domestic violence as a problem. Have a toll-free number where victim can instantly call and ask for help, from emergecy to just a chat. Also, law needs to be reformed in order to help victims get justice. Last but not least, your thread is all about parents, cultural and Desi. Well, if you were brought up in a western society, Christian, you would say the same thing because it exists everywhere.
To tackle this we need a forum, platform grass root and national wise to recongnize it as a problem. Only than the society will make an effort to tackle this.
Moreover, if you have not researched the problem has lot to do with economic than cultural. The unemployment and illitracy rate in our country is very low, so the options are lot less for victims than most people think in a western mindset.
Sadiyah: Which culture r u referring to? If u mean the sikh indian culture, They have their peculiar problems. Local sikh girls dont want to marry the boys here caz they r more educated and economically independent. So the boys end up marrying girls from INDIA. I know Alcohol is another big issue in their culture. I am not saying pakistani culture has no issues of this sort but the frequency of these problems is lot less among pakistanis here.
