New Virus Alert

Lorena Bobbit Virus
turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Woody Allen Virus
bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Tonya Harding Virus
turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Paul Revere Virus
warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:

Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg

Ollie North Virus
plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files

Ronald Reagan Virus
saves your data, but forgets where it’s stored

Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB

AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for
the AT&T virus

Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”

Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole
darn thing quits

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back

:)