New Meaning of Words
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end and a fool on the other.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing
through “the minds of either”.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power…
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to
be spoken of when dead.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says
in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest…except that
he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when
you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and
your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills