New math

Hangout Humor (Rated G)
1

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.< /FONT>

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two
people
remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that
is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me," You’re next".

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals

2

oh no… oh no… man ur suppose to be a seniour here… havent u seen this posted here before… stop wastin our time…

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/teary2.gif

… do i go online ..on pak.org…on joke section …to see thi s…and to beat my self with a stick …on seeing the same cliches again and again… please ppl … if u consider u have seen somthing before… most of us…would have seen it few trillion times… GOD I HATE THIS NOW… i will blow up this section…ARGGGGHHHhhhhhhhhh

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/mad.gif

…

tries to calm down by bitting his feet … INHALES ., EXHALES… INHALES …EXHALES… inhales…exhalesss.ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz…ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… . . . . . .