Re: NEW HERE
Firstly its sounds like its eating u up what u had done in the past,pray 4 forgivness with true sincerity and Allah shall forgive inshallah.
Secondly sounds like he has got u just where he wants u, he has totally lowered ur self esteem and confidence making u think that ur the one that is in the wrong.I think that you have put up with this for way to long dont make ny excuses for what he has done it just totally wrong. You need 2 get ur self in a safe and secure enviroment and stop letting this ****e brainwash u.There are support groups out there or perhaps a close member of the family/friend who you could stay with 2 get urself sorted out. All the best.