Im thinking the same thing. :(
He is the nephew of my moms friend, she has met his mum but she hasnt met him.
How long to think it should take to get to know what someone is like?
I never know what anyone is like because I am a very bad judge of character, I always see the best in everyone. And he could be really nice at first but horrible after!
Farah, you barely know the guy, ure MOTHER barely knows the guy, you havent even seen him, i really think you should sit down with ure mother and talk abt this openly, dont be shy, its ure life on the line
I’m sorry but yeh aap loag kis zamaaney mein reh rahey ho? You’re marrying someone in four weeks who you’ve never met before?
Invite him around for lunch or tea a few times and talk to him (obviously with your family there) and pray Istikhara.
Bless 
My fiance refuses to converse with me on religious grounds too which pisses me off to no end. Surely someone who doesn’t want to speak to you before marriage is asking for an earful if he asks for anything after. Men make me wana punch them.
Khair, you don’t even know this guys character. Imagine you contact him and the next thing you know he’s grassed you to your mum and mums coming down on you like a ton of bricks. You can just never know..it’s a risk but maybe it’ll be worth it.
Waisay, persevere with your stance re: delaying marriage and you mum will crumble 
what does religion have to do with not being able to speak with the person you're gonna marry?
That’s a load of BS!!!
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*Originally posted by Brit Chick: *
what does religion have to do with not being able to speak with the person you're gonna marry?
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I think Acc. to Islam one can not talk to a namehrum, Magar it is allowed to see a girl whom u gonna marry
You know I bet you and your mom are more picky when it comes to buying stuff from the store.
I love how you fools bring up praying Ishtikarah when making a decision like this.
Honestly what do you think God will do if the person you're unsure about is definitely not the kind of person you should marry?
Will you suddenly be told not to marry him in a dream?
If so.. ask all the people who married people who have made their lives miserable cause they too have done so under such blind 'faith'.
Oh course then you'll say this was God's will and was meant to be.
Honestly have some common sense and start living in the real world.
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*Originally posted by Echt: *
but believe me Nikah is a bond which will change ur feelings abt ur hubby . And u will feel comfortable with him.
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aww,, thats so sweet :)
I reckon you meet him first, and do isthakhara..
it's your whole life, a few weeks delay won't matter.
I was in the same position too…i dunno how i got thru with it- i was also very very naive…i stayed with my hubby for 2weeks…but now it feels as if i still don’t know him very much. (over a year now)but i can’t go bak coz his visa aint sorted…hmm,about ‘consummating’…i was persuaded to do before walima (2 days after) by inlaws - (they say otherwise nikaah wont be valid)… 
…i’m just thinking, why didn’t i speak-up to them & tell’em i’m not ready…aaarrrgh!
Anyways, Good Luck for your Wedding! Hope you make the most of your visit…and hope your hubby/inlaws keep you happy…
Remember: do what you’re comfortable with.
You told your in laws about your sex life (or lack of it)?
Yeah I know whats the point of asking Allah :swt: for his help and guidance when we are uncertain about something. I mean how would he be able to help us in the ‘real world’. 