Negative parent

[arabianights]

Re: Negative parent

@naima27

It’s not that much that she is suspicious of people’s intentions (although there is an element of that) it’s more that she is constantly worrying about the future and her worries are for the most part excessive and unfounded. Whenever I see her I leave feeling so depressed. In fact like ShimmerV said I find myself thinking negatively and I need to snap myself out of her way of thinking everything is doom
and gloom.
Everyone has things that trouble them and I have no issue with her sharing her worries but her whole life revolves around worries and negative thoughts. In her case she is very blessed alhamdulilah but she doesn’t see that and instead will focus on everything negative. It’s the same with her spouse and children- she is always focussing on negative things and what we don’t do rather than what we do- this is the thing that upsets me most I think. It makes you not want to be around that person because it is stressful to only hear bad things all the time. To give you an example last week I called her every day to see how she is but conversations were brief because I had so much going on. After a few days of 5-10 mins calls she started telling me how I am a bad daughter because I don’t give her time. I try to make sure she has no complaints from me but I am only human!
I don’t think she has bad motives towards me. I just want to be able to help her and the rest of my family so we can all just get along and be happy

My parents are similar i found alot of asian parents are like this because they are perfectionists and like everything to be perfect. I remember getting sad because one day i had forgotten to bring something and that kept me sad for a big proportion of the day. I then realised if that’s the worse thing in my day i am truly lucky. Some people live horrific lives.

Personally what i do is laugh and make jokes. Laughter is infectious, when something bad happen it lifts the mood and allows people to take the situation not so seriously. Talking didn’t help in my situation instead i don’t lecture them but do some action when the situation is bad. So sometimes bring some snacks they like say if we are running late, joke if they are depressed etc.

It may seem tiring but its not because your conscience is soo much better afterwards