Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
Well not really. My understanding is that the poster is just saying that she's making a bigger deal of it than it really is. There are many mothers here who wear the niqab but that doesn't mean that their children aren't safe or unwell.
So? If she doesn't want to she shouldn't have to, esp when she is already doing what she should Islamically, which is wear hijab/jilbab.
If she had hte love of niqab there would be no issue, bu tif she doesn't feel comfortable or happy wearing it, why should she
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
So? If she doesn't want to she shouldn't have to, esp when she is already doing what she should Islamically, which is wear hijab/jilbab.
If she had hte love of niqab there would be no issue, bu tif she doesn't feel comfortable or happy wearing it, why should she
I was merely responding to your comment about being concerned about kids' safety and well being, that's all. I didn't say anything else, because I can't think of saying anything that would make the topic creator feel better about her situation.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
I was merely responding to your comment about being concerned about kids' safety and well being, that's all. I didn't say anything else, because I can't think of saying anything that would make the topic creator feel better about her situation.
And I was responding to the comment that said her worrying about her daughters' safety was coming from shaitaan.
Many mothers can wear veil and protect their kids, but if she doesn't feel that way I don't see why it should be such a problem.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
Peace shonaK
Sometimes you need to test the boundaries ... In Islam we have limits of acceptability ... Learn these inside out regarding Islam and approach him with wisdom. Convince him that niqab is not necessary if that is what you believe. There are plenty of evidences for showing this ... I personally believe that niqab is a thing on top of the basic requirement.
A husband should evaluate the balance between his wife's psychological health and her ability to struggle with her situation. Niqab is supposed to achieve the purpose of hiding the woman from gazes, but in some societies it does the opposite - He should consider this. Tell him that in the fear of another man looking upon you he might actually be ignoring the real risk of someone attacking you. May Allah (SWT) protect all Muslims and especially so if they put effort in to more difficult actions.
In any case a husband can tell his wife to observe her obligations, but he should not oblige her to be a mujtahid - that should be her choice.
He has given you the choice so take it even if he does not like it ... Tell him that you are going to take the choice he has given ... tell him that you understand he won't like it ... but in return be extra nice to him in other areas and when he sees that your anguish and trauma is ending then he will accept it ... inshaAllah.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
I think the issue is bigger than the niqab/hijab. You two have some other resentments going on in your life. You two need serious marriage counseling. Since you mentioned that you are depressed . Get checked for it and get professional help. Depression is the reason for you not being happy with your life and your husband. It is not the niqab/hijab which caused your depression. It is depression which makes you think that once the niqab/hijab comes down you will be happy and every thing will go back to normal. No it will not till. Once the matter of hijab/niqab is settled you will find some other reason to be not happy about your marriage , your life and your husband. For your daughter's sake seek some professional help not the help from your family. Your are angry at life not at your husband or hijab. Hijab in any society has not stopped from people to live a normal life , depression does.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
Why dont you find company of other women also wear hijab and niqab. You can socialize with them. That will make you feel easy as you won't feel you are the only one doing it. Since you did it first to please him then why dont you want to please him anymore? I just think it's evil whispers of shaitan making you upset that what whould happen to your daughter etc. you just have to find activities you can do with niqab on. Life will go on. The best solution is to make dua to Allah to help you through this.
Like sewing or gym? My teacher wouldn't let anyone near the sewing machine with niqab on and I can hardly think of any activities for Niqabis. Seriously, it's not practical in West.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
No, some men love sewing too you know.
There’s this Venezuelan guy comes along with his wife. But a woman didn’t wanna take off her niqab even in all women group so my teacher restricted her from joining her class.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
If you find traditional style black naqab unpleasing, there are so many other options. And you can look modestly glamorous and graceful and more beautiful in hijab. You can wear matching scarves in diffrent styles and colors, some plain, some with little bling bling.
From what I have seen and personal experience, it’s mostly a matter of figuring out what suits you best. I love silk scarves in Turkish style, you can try that. Even long beautiful dupattas, you can wear in a way that your head will be covered but you’ll still look classy and fabulous.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
Okay I hate to say it like this and I know a lot of you will disagree. But why would you marry a man who wants you to wear a nikab in the first place. Atleast he was honest to you then and said he wants you to dress this way instead of forcing you into it after you guys were married.
You chose to marry a man who wanted this for his wife. I know girls who wanted to marry men who had a beard for the sake of sunnah because that is what they desired in a man, likewise a man should be allowed to want that from his wife. He tells you that he wants you to cover because he doesn't want other men to see you etc... you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to do but remember that this was your decision made by you (love marriage). So I don;t think it's fair to make him look like the bad guy. Yes you can say "now I change my mind and no longer want to wear the nikab" but his frustration should also be taken into consideration as this is something he wanted in for his wife. And before you say that "I don't HAVE to wear it or he shouldn't force me" let me just say that we're always talking about our choices for rishta's so no one should think he's out of line for wanting this for his wife.
Secondly, you're making up andlooking for excuses to make the situation more then it is. You wearing the nikab shouldn't prevent you from going out, taking the bus, parks, spending time with your kids and everything else you like to do. That's your own self-consious, people can abuse you even for being Pakistani/hijabi/muslim so nikab is no different. I know tons of woman who do everything in a hijab and nikab, they're doing everything any other woman does.
You should state that you are unhappy with the nikab and want to take it off because it's not working out for you. Nikab is done for the pleasure of Allah. You should take it off, it's better then dreading your life and having problems with your husband. Though don't blame and ask your husband for "support" because he is upset too. He may be able to get over it and things could go back to normal, or he could choose to hold this matter against you.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
Um...you want us to give you "word of encouragement"? I encourage you to not expect others to come to your rescue. Don't act like a little girl, you're a grown woman, if you don't like something, don't do it.
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
I would just like to say to the majority of you...thank you for your advice and comments ....to the minority who have not helped and had nothing good or decent to say i ignored your replies....
Also let me make something clear....im not saying that the veil is a safety aspect in general... i was saying that from my experience for ME it is......and im fully aware and personally know of people and family who wear the niqab but do not feel that the niqab prohibits them from doing normal duties that other women do but for ME it does. Like i said in my post that not everyone can wear it those who can with no problems good for them.
And one last thing..........Alhamdulilah we have worked things out this evening.....he will give me 100% support all the way... Jazakallah for your replies
Re: Need words of encouragement to give me strength
And one last thing..........Alhamdulilah we have worked things out this evening.....he will give me 100% support all the way... Jazakallah for your replies
That's great!! It's always nice to see a happy ending to life1 threads.
