OK…my parents and younger sisters are coming to town next week. The main reason: to buy outfits to wear at my wedding. I need some tips/advice regarding one of my sisters. Now please keep in mind that this is one of my sister’s that I’m talking about…so do not get the idea that I’m trying to be a bi*ch or stuck up as I write this. I’m just being brutally honest b/c I need help.
She’s 20…and her “look” it completely different than my mom, myself, and other siblings. She’s about 5’3". But the main issue is that she’s overweight. She had some health issues in junior high and the medications made her gain a lot of weight that she really hasn’t lost since then. At this point…my dad estimates she’s probably close to 160 lb (I have not seen her since summer but she’s currently at my parents house for winter break). She’s also a bit tomboyish and has self-esteem issues.
Obviously for my wedding…they will be wearing desi clothes. I’m paying for all their clothing/MU/hair for my wedding. I would like to know given her height/weight…what TYPE of desi clothing will flatter her the most? I know saris are totally out. She probably will not wear super high heels during the wedding…maybe 2-3 inche heels. Should she go for these long gowns? Or anakarlis?
I’ve always been super petite…my mom, my other sisters, and most of my closest friends are petite too. So I’ve never actually had to look for desi clothing for someone who’s overweight (again…not trying to be mean). I could really use some advice on that type of desi clothing/colors would suit this particular sister on my wedding.
is she top heavy, or more pear shaped/bottom heavy?
if she's pear shaped, then look for something that has an empire waist, or boat neck, or v neck..it draws the eyes upwards and accentuates the smaller parts of the figure.
if she's top heavy, avoid the above mentioned styles and look for something that draws the eyes away from the upper body.
these days, most cuts are A-line and flowy, which is universaly flattering, so you shouldn't have too much trouble. i think a long shirt w/chooridar pajama would be a good choice.
Yes, did just write how much my sister weighs. Is there any reason I shouldn’t? I don’t think a person’s weight is something to be ashamed of. If someone wanted to my weight or my other siblings weight or my mom’s weight…I’d be more than happy to post that too. And your potato sack comment was really uncalled for. As I already wrote that she has self-esteem issues. If I didn’t care about her or how she feels on my wedding day…then I could just let her “deal” with this on her own and not even bother. My one and only “agenda” in posting this thread is to get some HELPFUL tips/advice. I’m sure you have plenty of sarcastic comments to amuse yourself with but I’d greatly appreciate it if you could keep them out of this thread.
And yes, I did say she looks different that me, my other siblings, and my mom because its a fact. I never said it made her any “less” than us. “Different” doesn’t equal “bad”.
And I know curves can be awesome when played up right. I’m not asking how to get rid of her curves. I’m asking HOW to play it up “right”.
is she top heavy, or more pear shaped/bottom heavy?
if she's pear shaped, then look for something that has an empire waist, or boat neck, or v neck..it draws the eyes upwards and accentuates the smaller parts of the figure.
if she's top heavy, avoid the above mentioned styles and look for something that draws the eyes away from the upper body.
these days, most cuts are A-line and flowy, which is universaly flattering, so you shouldn't have too much trouble. i think a long shirt w/chooridar pajama would be a good choice.
Thanks a lot! I appreciate the hints! :) She's more pear shaped. The V-neck empire waist sounds nice. I will definately make a note of this. And yes, when I went to the store to order my bridal....I saw some really nice flowy formals....so finding those should not be an issue.
Girls who are pear shaped can really pull off The '' A shaped '' clothing.
Just make sure the top fits good and highlight the smallest part of the waist! :)
Hope this helps a little bit.
Okay, first of all avoid any short kameez i.e. anything above the knee and those really wide flary trousers and tops. This will not flatter her figure. I think she should wear long shirt/dress type with churidar. Those asian skirt and tops look nice -lengha. Not sure if she will be comfortable in that though as you said she is bit tom boyish. But if you ask and she does like then suggest A line skirt with a bit of a longer top. Also avoid plain shiny satin material.
In terms of colours if she is pear shaped and supposin she is wearing skirt and top a dark coloured skirt say dark blue, dark red, dark purple etc would be good and a light top - think darker then pastel colours but not jewel type colours.
But, just thinking don't you want to match colour of outfits with other main members of family e.g. sisters all wearing blue or is everyone wearing what they want
Also, this is important try to get her outfit fitted meaning even if ready made to fit her.make sure they don't make it too tight but look loose without looking like she is wearing a sack -i hope this makes sense.....she should feel comfortable in it e.g be able to sit down properly and lift her arms up.
and don't make her wear high heels if not comfortable or used to it either just kitten heels and flats
I hope this helps- did u want advice on hair n makeup as well?
Your query might be genuine and very much out of concern,but I am sorry it just was not too pleasant to read.I will for sure not like it a bit if my sister was discussing me this way,no matter if I come on a forum or not.
I am sure she will rock whatever she wears,as will you and the rest of the family..!
Happy shopping..:)
msis: Wow....thanks a lot for the detailed response! I will definately re-read all that right before we go shopping. As for hair/make-up.....whoever I hire will also do all my family's hair/make-up. So I will most likely let the professionals work with my family in those matters. :)
Your query might be genuine and very much out of concern,but I am sorry it just was not too pleasant to read.I will for sure not like it a bit if my sister was discussing me this way,no matter if I come on a forum or not.
I am sure she will rock whatever she wears,as will you and the rest of the family..!
I appreciate your thoughts. And yes, I completely agree that it's not a pleasant or nice post to read. Having a sister who's signifinacantly younger, who had dealt with serious health problems, and who has strugged for years with self-esteem issues is not pleasant. It doesn't make me feel good to know she struggles with the issues she struggles with. I can't do much about the other problems she deals with.....but helping her find an outfit that will make her feel like million bucks is something that's within my power. And that is why I opened this thread asking for tips/advice.
Yet for some people to make sarcastic remarks or other comments indicating that I have some malicious agenda or I'm being heartless for writing my post is a major insult to the relationship I have with all my siblings. I don't make assumptions about other people relationships with their family. All I ask is that other people don't make assumptions about mine. :)
Yes, did just write how much my sister weighs. Is there any reason I shouldn't? I don't think a person's weight is something to be ashamed of. If someone wanted to my weight or my other siblings weight or my mom's weight....I'd be more than happy to post that too. And your potato sack comment was really uncalled for. As I already wrote that she has self-esteem issues. If I didn't care about her or how she feels on my wedding day.....then I could just let her "deal" with this on her own and not even bother. My one and only "agenda" in posting this thread is to get some HELPFUL tips/advice. I'm sure you have plenty of sarcastic comments to amuse yourself with but I'd greatly appreciate it if you could keep them out of this thread.
And yes, I did say she looks different that me, my other siblings, and my mom because its a fact. I never said it made her any "less" than us. "Different" doesn't equal "bad".**
And I know curves can be awesome when played up right. I'm not asking how to get rid of her curves. I'm asking HOW to play it up "right".
**
Thanks for the response anyway.
When someone already has self esteem issues, then their weight can be something to be ashamed of. YOU may not be ashamed of your weight because it may be considered healthy/normal for you, but if you were overweight/obese for whatever reason....I'm sure you wouldn't want to share your #.
You could have just asked how to play up a larger figure/darker skin tone without going into your sister's medical history/self esteem issues/writing her weight.
When someone already has self esteem issues, then their weight can be something to be ashamed of. YOU may not be ashamed of your weight because it may be considered healthy/normal for you, but if you were overweight/obese for whatever reason....I'm sure you wouldn't want to share your #.
You could have just asked how to play up a larger figure/darker skin tone without going into your sister's medical history/self esteem issues/writing her weight.
I agree with the first part. That's why we have forums where we post without revealing our identities. If I have posted her picture or name or other details to identify her...then yes...that would be wrong of me.
And for the 2nd part:
1) Different people have different definations of "overweight" and "darker skin tone"......especially among desis. I wanted to be as specific as possible.
2) What "medical history" did I reveal? That the weight gain is due to medications? My reason behind it? I didn't want anyone to suggest that she could lost the weight. After all....it's not like people actually read the original post and stick to the actual question being asked. As clearly shown by several responses....people like to read-between the lines and talk about things that has nothing to do with what a OP is asking about.
My intent behind including details was so there would not be any misunderstanding or derailing of the thread. My mistake was thinking that I could actually post a serious question and get serious answers only. But its ok. I don't expect everyone "approval" of my methods. I've gotten some helpful tips and am grateful for that. :)
Yeah on second thoughts actually, saris dont go well for a sister's wedding, thats more something for a boy's wedding. Otherwise try a loose lehnga type outfit, you know, the ones with long kameezes with not too heavy shararas or lengha? would she consider that? but yeah, for her age group perhaps anarkali will feel more feminine.
Fits her to a T - fitting is important since ill fitted clothes are much more obvious on curvy frames. If you're small, a loose outfit doesn't really look that bad. If you're curvy, it looks bad.
Is flattering for her specific figure - curves come in all shapes and sizes. Some girls are big on top, some on the bottom, some have hourglass figures, etc. You will want to look for clothes that flatter her pear shaped body. I find the long frocks beautiful as long as they are fitted well on the top and the seams fall in the right places. Someone suggested a churidar pajama and I like that idea.
Is comfortable for her - if she's not comfortable she will look it and feel it. Make sure she enjoys what she is wearing and is comfortable in it.
Reha: Thanks a lot for the tips! This is another post I'll def. re-read the night before shopping. I've gone shopping with her many times before for American clothing...and usually I end picking out items...and then she'll tell me if she likes them or not. I always ask her if she likes anything but she always just shurgs her shoulders.....I can never get her to pick out anything on her own. But when/if I pick something out....if she doesn't like it....she does share that with me. I expect this routine to continue at the desi store...lol. That's why I wanted to have a good idea on what I need to ask/look for when we walk in. And yes, I agree that no matter what she ends up choosing....comfort is a "must". :)
darker colours tend to be more flattering than lighter ones, in my experience, for us girls who are top heavy.
if she is comfortable in sleeveless, have her try those loose flowly anarkali's with no sleeves. for some reason, i've always found that style looks better and more flattering for all figures as a sleeveless option than one with sleeves which can often end up looking like too much fabric.
