i tried telling my hubby too to remind me again and again when i am being loud but he says that he cant do it each and every time.i am so totally silly at times on arguing over very mionor stuff and regretting later.i am sick of it even myself.i wish there was a way i could handle it easily.you know what they is right.your tongue will take you to heaven or hell.i am in hell.
:(
but PSq is right, only you can change yourself. of course it's not going to be easy but it comes down to how much you want to. hubby needs to be patient too yea, but it sounds like he has been patient for a long time and it's taken it's toll. so you need to really, really put in 100% effort to change before the relationship is beyond help.
hopefully other users will give some excellent advice and something will work for you. Mama's above was very helpful too.
i think you should go on some kind of talking strike. just doooo not talk apart from what is completely necessary, like with the kids. do this for a few days and then start bringing yourself out of it, hopefully then even you will notice your own voice now after not talking for days and can keep a check on it. there will be a lot of tongue biting but it will get you in the habit of doing that, which is what you need.
and think about what effect it's having on your children? do you want them to grow up in that kind of environment like you did?
you know, my dad gave us the best advice, quite some time before we were married and it was only two words.
we were weighing my dad's suitcase and being kind of snappy with each other over something to do with it (i don't remember now) for no reason other than that's how we tend to talk and all my dad said was 'pyar se..'.
that shut us both up and every time i get crazy with hubby that pops into my head.