Re: Need some help
Peace Sister chamali
Ohhhh dear! That sounds difficult. The reason being, by the sound of it, all the hadith in the world will not affect your husbands position with regards to you in relation to his parents.
I don't know how abusive they are to you and quite honestly I don't need to know.
First and foremost consider these things:
1) Are you fulfilling the rights of your husband? If not then his parents may find that a reason to have a go at you.
2) Is he fulfilling the rights of his own parents? If not then they will blame you as you are an easy target.
Try to be perfect and blameless before starting the process.
Next ... ensure that your husband does not hear you complain about his parents. Rather it would be more effective if you become sad and silent with him if he doesn't stand up for you.
Give lots of praise about his parents to him on anything good that you see in them. This will make him realise that you are not just being one sided. Let him see that you speak good of them and do so to their face also.
Maskey lagana booree baat nahein if it protects you from insult.
Be even more thoughtful of his parents than him, that will surprise him and make him come towards you.
Remember that Islam puts rights over you and him with each other but he is responsible to his parents not you, as our classic interpretation has us believe.
Ensure that a portion of his money goes to them it is their right and this must be done as Islam prescribes. You will notice the difference if this is not already happening.
Again do plenty of du'as and enjoin all that is good and forbid all that is evil and things like 'music' harden the heart, try to avoid these things. TV dramas create too much problems also people think their lives are like that so avoid watching them and try to stop your in-laws from watching them if they do, by making fun out of the dramas or reading Qur'an when they are on, etc.
You need to toughen yourself up also. Yes, it is important that your husband reads about your rights, but this should be viewed for his own good. Try to engage in a few hobbies and create some sort of link with his parents so you can talk about things that you identify with rather than resorting to the "hum tum" topics.
If the situation is very bad then you need to take things further, but I think you love your husband and he will understand you in time.
My wife ... she is an orphan and she handles my parents nicely now. She used to have lots of problems at first but now she has managed to find a way to balance the act. So do that inshaAllah everything will be fine soon.