I was wondering if I can get a bit of advice and support from experienced mums here.
I am a FTM of a 3 week old baby girl. For last few days,I’ve started to feel quite overwhelmed and stressed.
I am trying to stick to BF but seems like such a struggle.
We are dealing with oversupply at the moment and a shallow latch.
Ive tried different positions,expressing a bit before starting but doesn’t seem to be helping much. I have started block feeding two days ago . But for past few days, a typical evening(4pm till 1am) is loads of screaming,crying, coming on and off the breast for feeding and practically every trick to console her ends up in even more crying.
Ive tried massaging ,rocking,swinging,holding her while I walk up and down the corridor, white noise etc.
The only thing I haven’t done is to go outside. It gets so cold in the evenings that I don’t find the courage.
Im so exhausted and sore now, ended up crying myself and left baby with my husband for the whole night,woke up at 6 am to realise I was asleep !
Any other tips to deal with oversupply, and an inconsolable baby?
I am getting tips and advice from the LC, not helping that much.
I would really really appreciate some advice,I feel so sleep deprived,tired and stressed out that yesterday I actually wished to be at work instead of dealing with this mess. Does it ever get better?
Thanks for reading!
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
Oh honey, hang in there! It gets better, I promise, but right now she’s so little and this is all so new to both of you and your new baby. Have you been to see a lactation consultant? Maybe they can offer some advice to better manage nursing.
What about expressing and feeding her with a bottle for night time feeds? That way you and hubby can do shifts and you can get some actual rest. It’ll also get the milk to her tummy quicker and easier. When my son was inconsolable at nights, 9 times out of 10 it was because he was hungry and, like you, I was dealing with oversupply and a latch that just didn’t want to happen. I ended up having a breakdown on day 7 and switched to formula and expressing breast milk and bottle feeding. We were both much happier after that!
Also, as overwhelming as it might seem, try to go for a walk with your baby every day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes around the block. Go during the day- the sun will do wonders for your spirits!
Is there anyone who can help watch the baby for an hour or so during the day so you can nap? How long does she sleep for? Can you try to nap when she naps?
What about a pacifier? Have you tried to give her one? That helped my kid learn to self soothe and calm down.
This time will pass and it will get easier. Just remember: you are the best mom for your little girl and you will make it through this time together.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
It’s totally normal to feel this overwhelmed, even to feel like you’d rather be doing something else. Don’t punish yourself for these feelings. You are physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. And a new being has taken over you life. The feelings are totally understandable.
These first few weeks become such a bizarre blur.
How was your oversupply determined? Did you pump and actually determine that there is a lot? Or was it by assessing the baby’s stool, reaction to bfing, spit up, etc? Are you sure it’s oversupply? I ask because that’s initially what the LC thought was bothering my son too. But it turned out it was just the typical reflux and maybe a little foremilk/hindmilk imbalance that ended up getting corrected with time.
Do you let the baby sleep or do you wake her at regular intervals?
Try the pacifier and a swing if you have one. Or even rocking in the carseat to give your arms a break. You could also try going for a drive around the neighborhood.
Also try just changing rooms/environment.Switch positions. Take off a layer of the baby’s clothes. Or add a layer. Have you tried swaddling?
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
great advice by sgc and S02!
one more thing, have you ruled out colic? if she is crying in the evening for a few hours, she could be colicky!
Is there something in your diet that can cause gas issues to her?
I have a 1.5 month old and I promise you it will get better. At 3 weeks I got breast infection because of supply issues. Its too early, your supply will establish based on your baby’s need. Pump if you have to and throw or freeze extra milk. Some babys have to be taught to latch on properly. Have you tried all the techniques? Some babys do develop proper latch on their own after weeks of being born. If you are finding it too hard, give breast milk in bottle. You must be exhausted from all the sleepless nights. Try taking naps when your baby takes her naps during the day. You don’t have any help? Mom, mil?
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
[quote=“somegroovychick, post:6, topic:299520”]
Thank you so much, your words mean a lot.
I get a breakdown every evening and decide to start bottle feeding and the next morning we are back to bfing.
I will try a pacifier,its just that the LC told me its better to wait till your supple gets established and then start it.
I might just get one now !
We went out for a walk this afternoon, did lift my spirit so much, I need to do that more often.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
@ SO2
I went to the GP who was pretty clueless and gave me a prescription for thrush and told me to speak to HV.
The lactation consultant thinks it could be oversupply and a mixture of reflux.
According to her once the supply gets established, it will get under control.
Hope its true. I do want to stick to BFing at least till six months.
I tried swaddling, she screams bloody murder every time.
But you’re right, i tried changing rooms yesterday evening, it did make a difference as she fell asleep at 8pm.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
@ geminin and spiral
Thanks for your replies.
I havent changed anything in my diet so dont know if thats the reason.
When exactly does it start to get better? Because at the moment it feels as if I am just making her miserable every evening 
I dont have anyone here, just my husband and he works full time.
I think I might just start expressing and storing just for a backup.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
at three months you start seeing a change. you may still be up nights and all that, but usually you and baby can establish a bit more of a routine. and as time goes on, things will get easier. right now it is just plain overwhelming!
it may not be oversupply, so i don’t know if you really want to do the block feeding that may affect your supply. if you haven’t pumped to see how much milk you’re getting, i’m not sure that you can know for sure. what made the LC suspect oversupply?
supply is usually established by 4 weeks, so inshAllah things will be better soon. i think that’s usually when you can start giving a pacifier, but you’re almost there anyway. as long as you’re bfing every 2-3 hours, a pacifier isn’t going to cause any harm, i think.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
also babies are often fussier in the afternoon/evenings. one theory is that we produce less milk at that time (but it’s usually fattier), so maybe they’re just adjusting to that. regardless it’s a very common occurrence. you may not be doing anything wrong. Cluster Feeding and Fussy Evenings - KellyMom.com
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
The possible diagnosis was based on the symptoms of: latching on then choking and gagging after 2-3 minutes,pulling head away, screaming then wanting to re latch, milk spraying all over the place. I hand express some on a cloth and then the cycle repeats when I get the let down reflex.
But the LC didn’t say for sure, she said it could be reflux as well.
I will try the pacifier.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
Definitely express and store but be careful with that- if you decide to go that route you MUST stick to it like clockwork. Put it off by an hour or so and you will end up with blocked ducts and possibly even mastitis which is horrifically painful. And the more you pump, the more milk you produce so that’s a very real risk. So go easy on the expressing but do start because it will enable you to bottle feed her your own milk should it come down to that. And above all, remember that bottle feeding isn’t a sin. Your baby will still be healthy and grow superbly iA even on formula.
While you stick to breastfeeding, watch her closely for signs of hunger and get her latched on- she might make sucking noises, suck on her fists or move her head from side to side. You want to get her latched on at that point and not when she is already crying and hungry and desperate. When she’s latching on at a calmer point in the cycle, chances are she’ll be easier to latch on and won’t drink in huge gulps. And as unnerving as it can be, do your best to remain calm while she freaks out. Babies can sense when you are stressed and get worked up even more.
Oh hunny that reminds me of my tine I was in same situation as ur in and had no advise. Its good that you started block feeding but be watchful on your breasts because I have gone through mastitis and its horrible.
Try cabbage leaf it worked for me along with block feeding.
Try this and see if it works for you.
Pump from one side ONLY for 5 min DONOT empty your breast. Throw that. Feed baby.
After 2 hrs repeat with other breast. Please use a pacifier it will help.
Meanwhile apply cold cabbage leaf in bra. Donot wear very tight or very loose bra.
You can hand express in between if u feel like.
Try this for atleast 3-4 days. See the difference and then post again.
You can post here anytime. Your post has brought tears in my eyes bcz It reminded me my time and I can totally understand. all prayers for you.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
I tried giving her a bottle of expressed milk, she didnt take it,but took the formula. could be a temperature difference.
I will try again today and if it works,I might start doing that. I know its not a sin 
, I just had the impression that breastfeeding was easier than formula feeding.
And yes I need to work on staying calm, its just her screaming during feed times just freak me out. Its not suppose to be a torture for either one of us
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
Thanks heydou for your support.
I try expressing some when she starts feeding, but within few minutes she starts to pull away crying and when I express at that point, flow stays fast.
Th lucky one or two hours sleep that I get, ends waking up with engorgement.I just dread feed times now. She clamps down so hard to control the flow that its awfully sore for me,and stays sore well after the whole torture episode is over:(
I will try what you have suggested and let you know how it goes, thanks a lot. Im hanging on to every piece of advice these days xx
Try using nipple shield during feeding if u can get. Its easily available in any big store usually in baby feeding aisle. If u feel engorged only hand express. Or reduce the feeding breaks from 2 hrs to 1.5 hr so that the difference between both breasts becomes 3 hrs and u dont get engorged. It will get better after the chilla days InshAllah. And for energy drink doodh haldi u like it or not but it helps.
Try mixing both. But prepare fomula separately and then mix in breast milk. Be careful if u r giving formula that means u r missing a feed and getting engorged. U have to be very watchful on that.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
Maybe you can try pumping since you have an oversupply and baby has latch issues?
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
I need to change what you eat. Some doc. say it doesn’t matter but i have firsthand experience that it does. I would drink half a cup of coffee in the am and when a little one got the milk his whole sleep cycle would be off. Same goes for anything which could cause gas. I pumped from day one and had so issues feeding him. Many people said i won’t be able to do that for too long, and I won’t have enough milk etc… which was all wrong. I pumped for 7 month, and had enough supply to for until LO was one.
Being a first time mom is really heard, but hang in there…things will get better.
If you think your baby is lactose intolerance (has a lot of gas) message me and i will tell you another trick.
Try pumping her legs in the morning and during the days as well. This will help with passing gas. Also, if you have a car seat for her, try letting her sleep in that during the evening time (thats also good for gas.)
Hope this helps and stay strong.
Re: Need some encouragement,feeling so isolated
Thanks for the advice.
The problem with expressing is that I barely manage an oz or two in one sitting .Its time consuming for me,plus with the baby stuck to feeding 24/7,i dont understand when to squeeze in time for it.
I thought about the allergy thing and decided today to stop all dairy for two weeks and see if it makes any difference.
Im having awful nights with lo crying and screaming till 4 in the morning !
All this sleep deprivation is now making me very cranky.
I started to introduce a night routine,doesnt seem to be working. I wish someone can just keep her for three hours atleast so I can sleep and get some of my senses back