Need some advice

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Need some advice

Um...if she likes the guy...she SHOULD talk to him on the phone...

22

there are some girls who don't. some girls do think that if the guy likes them enough he should just propose. there's no reason for them to be "friends" before the proposal.

however, i think Sinuhe can still give it a try and try to talk to her. i read after posting that she has male friends. so maybe she is not that conservative/strict about talking to guys just for the sake of being friends.

there are girls who are well educated, work etc, but when it comes to friendship with guys, are very conservative.

23

Re: Need some advice

Sinuhe how well do you think you know her just by one meeting by the way? i don;t know if trying to get to know someone better thru internet virtually is a good idea

24

PCG....it wasn't meant in an offensive way. if you read my post i specifically did state that ITS RARE. not completely uncommon. and more than 70% of that post was explaining why its probably just cuz she wanted to finish studies etc but obviously he needs to find out more abt the girl either way. i have cousins who got married after 30 too so i know its not a big deal...but at the same time i know its RARE in pakistan. sooo reeelax!!!!!!

25

How did you come up with that ? Now a days parents emphasise on girls to complete their education before getting married. I have many memon acquaintances , this community used to marry off their daughters as young as 16-18 years of age. But now I see so many memon girls completing their education , finding a good job before getting married.

You are suggesting that if a girl isn't married by 30 then she has some sort of flaw. It's all comes down to fate / naseeb. No one can get married before or after the tiem decided by ALLAH.

26

Hey guys. :champ:

thanks for your advice. But I am not used to talk to girl with bearing in mind that I found them attractive. I have never ever proposed a girl :bb:, and is a bit afraid. I will try to talk to her next time I meet her, but what to talk about. :daaghu2:

I will feel a bit nervous cause I found her attractive. Maybe she can help me and make me feel comfortable, but I will give it a try. :gadha:

It is better to try and loose, than never try and just think.

I am a practical person who just like to jump into challanges, and I find it as a big challenge. I have to find out if she likes someone else, maybe among her friends. :uz:

I need some advice about how to talk to the opposite sex. I mean I talk to many females, but I dont see them as female, just as a person. But when it comes to a girl I like, things are different. I am not used to pakistani codes of conversation :teggy:

Any good ideas for how to propose a desi girl. And how to save your self from a slap :kursi:

27

Re: Need some advice

ha ha Sinuhe,I get ur point!!lol..
look,i dnt think u need any classes to talk to a girl who u like..if u like her,all the talking will happen automatically.and if she is a bit interested in you she will try to make u feel a bit comfortable..
desi girls and proposals..well,i think desi or non-desi,the best way is to go thru parents.if my fiance had approached me directly with the proposal he would have been in serious trouble!

28

do we pakistanis have a different code of conversation ?:bizz:

29

Well, there are allways some codes in different cultures, like in west people pick up girls on disco or bars, while in our culture its a bit different.

I am a sharif type of munda and not a player, therefore, it would be a bit wired for me to talk to a girl who i found attractive.

I dont know what we should and should not say to a girl. Would hindi movies help to practice, some uncle Shahrukh, uncle Salman og uncle Aamirs dialoges???

Looking forward to get som constructive information, thanks…

The most important thing is how to express or give signals for that I like her…`??? :champ:

30

Re: Need some advice

First of all just because she has male friends, That doesnt mean she has to marry them for goodness sake!
Secondly if shes a few years older than you, That certainly doesnt make any difference either. Friendships dont get effected if they reject you, Just try again, The girls parents like that and will probly warm to you if they see your really interested.
I got a rishta from my 3rd cousins parents, I rejected, Our dads are still very pally.
Unless their very small minded it wont effect. I suggest you put your foot down your 28 years old.

31

:smack: anything but that! PLEASE!

and dont try to talk like someone ELSE … she wants to know YOU … so talk as you would … but just be little respectful … you say you’re a shareef kinda guy … then that should not be a problem … and i’m sure you wouldnt touch any unreasonable topics :rule:

32

Hey,

farah, what kind of unreasonable topics, plz give some advice.

what would you like to talk about with a person you might find interesting....

33

Re: Need some advice

  1. dont over-talk about yourself, and get her bored. :no:
  2. dont touch topics like marriage, kids, sexuality, experimentation, past relations already … :nono:
  3. past relations only if she brings it up herself … but dont persist upon it, or dig into it further …
  4. discuss each others likes, dislikes … hobbies … what they do … what was she doing all this time :wub:
  5. what are you guys plans for life … are you adventurous, homely, boring .. bla bla ..

basically just try and get to know each other … what kind of a person you both are .. and find out if there are any sparks or not ..
you’ll figure much out when you’re just talking … if the talking is happening, it’s good … and if you’re stuck with topics like “the weather sucks, i hope it’s shinier tomorow” … that means somethings just not hitting off … but dont get disappointed just yet, there can always be a second meeting … if the weather topic is still there … get out.

34

Re: Need some advice

Farah, Could you please spesify point 4 and 5 as you mentioned above.....

To be honest it looks very difficult, and I hope her parents dont get angry.....

35

Re: Need some advice

well to understand compatibility between two people, it's nice to talk about things that make you unique. it's not difficult at all ... just talk to her as if you'd be talking to any other girl.
how are you? what do you do? do you like cycling through the woods? i do that every sunday morning ... and then i like to have some fresh juice ... i cant stand filtered coffee ... what about you? oh you like filtered coffee ... hahahha ... so how do you spend your weekends normally? i am not a book person .. i love watching discovery channel ... i really get turned off by girls in drag-queen makeup ... oh i think your hair looks lovely ...
i dont know ... easy talk ...

if it goes well ... at the end you could just ask her (if she looks the sort who be willing to hang out with you) if shed be willing to have filtered coffee at the coffee shop around the corner next weekend :D

and you dont need to have a conversation with her while you guys parents are intently listening to both of you ... why would they get angry? you are at their house ... and you are having a nice family evening ... and talking is part of it ...

36

Re: Need some advice

Dont talk about politics either.. :chai:

Just… go with the flow dude..! If you think TOO much about what to say or what not to say.. Dan ga je OF onzin uitkramen omdat je teveel je best doet OF het gesprek loopt dan pas echt vast (cricket sound)..! And if her parents are ok with her having male friends.. They cant be angry at you for just TALKING to her.. It’s not a sin to talk to a girl.. Just be yourself.. relax.. chill.. and let the magic happen.. sprinkling fairy dust :smiley:

37

Re: Need some advice

u r thinking way too far ahead...

...u need to see her again... u saw her only ONCE .. for how long? couple of hours or so maybe...in yours and hers parents presence??? thats not enough in order to propose someone.... u need to figure out first whether she is even little bit interested in u in these terms and then persue futher ...