need some advice about a friend of mine...

Lifestyle Relationships
1

me and my buddy (Jahangir), we’ve been best friends since kindergarten, he being my best friend shares an equal amount of passion for cars as I do, he’s married to his high school sweet heart (a Lebanese) who also is a very close friend of mine, and he has a 2 year old son.

like most car enthusiast, we (as opposed to me and my buddy) like to take our pleasures with some foot to the floor action (driving fast), now I am in control of my self and only drive fast when I am alone and the road ahead is clear, on the other hand he isn’t and he wouldn’t care if his mother was in the passenger seat, jab tak he isn’t driving atleast…atleast twice the legal speed limit here which is 120km/h (74 mph) us ko chaine nahi aaega and thats where the problem starts, you see I am not married yet and he is.

the other day his wife called me up crying, telling me about what had happened, well that idiot was driving fast (as usual) and missed a near collision with a car in on coming traffic and while braking hard there son flew off the child seat in the back and landed head first on to the rear of the seat which are anything but comfy since they’re Carbon Bucket seats (he drives 2007 Audi RS4 which in stock has good comfy leather bucket seats but since his car is not stock, its an MTM tuned Clubsport 650 PS version so its seats are as uncomfortable as being shot at is), so his son suffered some minor injuries, which I feel terrible for, I mean I love that kid as much as his dad does, now me and my buddy have never been in a fight for all our lives, so I don’t know how to talk to him about this, I am pretty pissed about this one but I want to solve this matter in a more mature fashion but hell I am not Dr. Phil, I’ve got no clue what to say to him.

so you guys think you could help me out on this one?, any help would be more then appreciated!.

Thanks!.

2

Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

well after that whole incident, if he doesnt realise what he did (or does) is dangerous, then he'll never know.

You may be in control of the car and the speed, but someone else on the road may not be in control, what will happen then?

this should have been a wakeup call for him... man, if my daughter flew headfirst like that... id prob suffer a heart attack on the spot.. no kid should have to suffer for their parents (or anyone elses) stupidity

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

You know your best friend better than anyone here. Approach him in a manner that will help him understand you but not shut you out. Im not sure I would mention anything about his wife...I would simply say "I got so scared when I found out about your child being hurt in the accident". This entire conversation would have to be from a super-concerned friend's perspective.

Good luck!

How r u feeling right now?
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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

BTW one quick question, why was the child not in a car seat, a child car seat?

As for the advice, take it in a very indirect approach.See how his mind works, does he go for facts and figures, or emotional way.You would know how to convince him.Donot please Donot start off by accusing him of saying hey you did this this this...instead work his mental capacity...go slow.
if he is a facts and figure guy(now this may be drastic, but show him pictures of actual accident victims...most preferably kids) Look up some stats etc of car accident caused by high speed and rash driving.
End with asking open ended qquestions like what do you say, is this what you want for your child?

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

Until this car remains under his feet, he will not be able to control his urge to press the pedal to the floor.

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

sell the car

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

It is like an addiction so treat it like that. I am not really sure how to do that exactly. But some how you need to divert his attention/need to create hate against fast driving. May be by example.

Its same like a friend quite smoking encourages you more as compare to you been lectured. Do some thing along these lines.

~*~ Time Pass June 2012 ~*~
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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

without sounding rude, speedsters like u guys make me sick. fine, dont give a damn bout ure own lives, but how bout those around u.. even if there is no one ahead of u on the road, u can still lose control of ure car and drive into a pathway, curb, etc where there CAN be ppl standing ...

and if ure friend still felt the need to speed even with having his infant son there with him, in the car... i dont think there is anything u can do cuz selfish ppl will remain selfish.

ok i guess i am being rude but u deserve it :)

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

This should be a lesson for you too. You will have to take a lead and tell him you do not do what you want him to stop doing.
Now you two being good friends your concern for safety and security of him and his wife is very genuine. You do not have to fight with him you have to show concern that is what good friends do. They do not fight they present the arguments and listen to argument of the other side. He never got caught speeding in Kuwait ? I have heard that if someone gets caught speeding at that a high speed they go to jail. That might serve as a bigger lesson for him.

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first of all thanks everyone for those replies!.

secondly,

@ sadzzz,

I hope he learnt is lesson too, I mean I haven't talked to him in a few days, will get together with the bunch on this weekend, hope to have a good word with him about this, don't really care if this means hurting his feelings, I don't want this to happen again as much as his wife.

@ PSquared,

thanks!, your advice was the sweetest of the bunch!.

@ Ask99,

I wrote in my post that his son was in the car child seat which is supplied by Audi as an optional extra and I think that every car manufacturer does.

thanks, your advice was great aswell!

@ WitchDr & CricketPlaya,

now if you ask him to sell his car, he will right away, but his next would be even faster, even more bonkers and even more powerful, the other day he showed me this Brabus Rocket thing (based on a standard Mercedes CLS63 AMG but instead of the usual 6.3L V8 its got a 6.0 liter biTurbo V12 ) which he claims is the fastest sedan on the planet, lol in simple words you can't stop him really.

@ NaMaan,

well yeah as I said I don't speed much on the roads, it only when I want to blow off some steam but that too when the road ahead is clear and empty, and yes my friend thinks I am a pussy for doing so, but thanks for the advice.

@ Khawateen,

well you really have to put your self in our shoes for a moment to really understand our addiction, you can blame my friend for all you want but you can't blame me for one bit, as I said I don't really hammer down the road unless its late at night and the roads are empty, I save all the lunacy for the track.

I hope he learnt his lesson now, thats all I hope for.

and as for the "ok i guess i am being rude but u deserve it" is concerned, well it isn't my fault that you drive around boring grocery runner :p, what I mean is I don't care if the car is worth a million bucks, if it can't perform its useless, no offence.

@ Mirch,

I don't understand why is nearly everyone blaming me? :|, yes and to present an argument is what I want to do.

and lol about being caught for speeding, well neither me nor any of my friends have ever been caught for speeding, neither do we have a single point on our license and nor did we ever get flashed by a speed camera :D and this is true, when you're into speed you gotta learn the tricks of the trade to stay clear of haters, I can pin point the exact location of each and every single speed camera on the roads of Kuwait and yes if caught speeding atleast 20km's over the speed limit is a 500 k.D (about $1700) fine and a minimum of 3 months behind bars!.

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

I don't get it.. you sound like an immature person who has no respect for others life .. or for that matter his own life... yet you are concerned about your friend?

man its like i don't wanna give up smoking but want my friend to ..

your reply above is a standing example of why you are an .....

cheetah you are not doing anyone any favors by driving fast, so you know all the speed camera.. big deal.. bara teer mara hai.. meray cheetah naye...

grow up and realize that there is more to life than speeding.. if you are that much into it then speed all you want on the tracks.. off the track you are just as useless as a bum... so do something else with you life..

man i can go on and on.. coz you have no idea how much it hurts and what we go through when you loose on of yours due to immature idiots like you..

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

once his drivers license gets suspended for reckless driving, its all over...

Ek sawal
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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

that is so scary and sad....I hope you'll be able to communicate to your friend how dangerous it is to be driving so fast when you have a family with you. I think you know your friend better than any of us so I think you'll know what to say. Good luck!

Dedicate a sher to _ _ _
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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

You know my husband used to be crazy about cars and speeding and all of that nonsense. One day his good friend died in a racing accident and after that did he realize that he is playng with his life by speeding. Unfortunately some need a reality call and if your friends son having injuries doesn't get to him then your talk most definitely won't do anything.

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sigh.... why is everyone blaming ME!?, I don't get it.

firstly I never wrote anything about stopping my friend from speeding, what I actually wrote was that I want my friend to stop from speeding when he's got company in his car especially when its his own family.

and you sir are very dumb for not understanding the situation I presented here, I drive fast yes I do but I am in total control of my self and only do it when I know that the road ahead is clear and that no one on the road side (usually after midnight) I KNOW that I am not doing any one a favour by driving fast how dumb would that be, I do it for my pleasure and again as I said I don't drive fast unless I know that its safe to and I am not talking about record braking fast, I am talking about 130 - 145 mph (every man has gone to such speeds, if you havent then you've got gender issues my friend) that too not very often, maybe once a month (NOT VERY OFTEN! hope thats clear enough for you too read, again NOT TOO OFTEN!!!!).

now I might sound kiddish here but try keeping track of over 20k's of speed camera's in a country thats no bigger then down town Manhattan, yes it is a big deal and is a bara teer.

I guess I am mature enough to realize that I am grown up, I think I've done my part with "realize that there is more to life...", I am a useless bum... yes I am, no need to remind me of that, you at the moment sound like you have no idea what you're on about, are you stoned my friend?, cos if you are then you need a good nights sleep.

"man i can go on and on.. coz you have no idea how much it hurts and what we go through when you loose on of yours due to immature idiots like you.."

yes I do, because I lost my Tayajan (my dads only brother), and he lost his life not due to speeding but ppl who like to drive at 30 in a 70 mph lane, god if I could then I would just ram each one them at a 180 mph and kill them at the scene, remember this, speed doesn't kill, it never kills, its all down to the skills of the driver them self, I can drive at insane speeds all day long and not hurt an ant (again I DO NOT SPEED WHEN IN TRAFFIC OR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY) on the other hand if you were at wheel then it be a different story.

Learn to respect other peoples decision, as long as they aren't hurting anyone (physically or mentally) with them (and my friend isn't is doing that, he put the life of his little son in danger, if it were just him, I wouldn't mind but it was his son too and that what pissed me off), its all good, and yes I forgot, before you blame me for yet another imbecile accusation, I do not speed when I've got company in my car!, again I DO NOT DRIVE FAST WHEN I'VE GOT COMPANY IN MY CAR!!!.

hope my post was clear enough, now feel free to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't mind one bit.

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

^ speed does kill my friend.. and if u dont know that, ur in denial

the thing is, u may be in total control of your car and ur speed... but u have no idea what someone else is thinking.

and speeding with out family is just as dangerous.. you need to value ur life more. The love for speed will kill either you or somenoe u love one day..

Ive seen what dubai/abu dhabi roads are like... pls do urself a favour and wake up

noone is stoned here... they're just aware of the risks

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

so you don't mind your friend killing himself when he is driving alone?

haha man you need to wake up and realize your addiction.. as i said before, you might THINK you are in control but sir you are only fooling yourself. And so is your friend.

Talk about being an education jackass.. that sir is what defines you.

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AhmadSNX, Two things I would like to say.

Obviously you feel your friend needs to calm his foot down, even after this accident, since otherwise you would not have bloged here. If you were really concered for your friend, you would pin him to the ground, or throw him to the side walk and fake an accident. Because I dont think your friend has a brain. I love driving and driving fast, but I know my limits. Your friend obviously does not. If this accident with his kid doesnt get his sences back, then I am afraid your friend is stupid, selfish and a fool.

Which makes you the bigger fool comming here. Go and beat the **** out of him. And selling his car he will buy a Mc brabus? Wht is your friend into drugs or smuggling, where the heck do you guyz have that much money anyway?

Secondly..judging from your posts, it is clear you are a big show off. Showing off your skills of driving fast and not being caught. OH boohoo we all have done it, jackas$. You keep on saying you drive fast but alone, which simply means you are in deniyal. Subciously you do not disagree to driving fast. Day or night is not the issue, the issue is keeping idiots like you OFF THE STREETS.

Man if I were you, I would acctually take a massive trailer and thrash it in your friends car when he was in it alone. A few broken bones should bring back his brain. But clearly both of you dont have the capacity to handle a brain.

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

"I am talking about 130 - 145 mph (every man has gone to such speeds, if you havent then you've got gender issues my friend) that too not very often, maybe once a month (NOT VERY OFTEN! hope thats clear enough for you too read, again NOT TOO OFTEN!!!!)."

HAHAHAHAHAHHA wht a ***** you are. You are attirbuting your balls to speed. ahhahahahah how about if i drive over u at that speed? Wht a ***** show off! Clearly you want the entire world to know how good driver you are. oh look at me, i drive at 145, i am in complete control, i know wht i am doing....its fools like you who are the problem. Infact I think your friend may not be bad at all, he just got bad being with your company, that is, constant love of speed. Sh*t u kids dont ever gonna grow up.

And blow off some steam?? Wht kind of a lame jack as$ excuse is that? mofo i feel like blowing some steam rite now, why dont i drive all over ur a$$ at 150mhp....till u get burried in the road....

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Re: need some advice about a friend of mine...

*"now I might sound kiddish here but try keeping track of over 20k's of speed camera's in a country thats no bigger then down town Manhattan, yes it is a big deal and is a bara teer."

*Wow! I am simply struck at awe at your amazingly brilliant talent. I mean like really wow, you should be given like the nobel prize for being so intelligent and applying all your massive brain power to dodge those cameras...oooooooah! Man..you are my ideal...u rock man!