as a part of the class they r in …they often recieve invitations from their classmates for birthday parties etc.
the problem is , we don’t know anything about food at these parties ,…there r so many things out there which do contain haram ingredients …n its almost impossible to have them listed precisely
so i’m not willing to send my children to these parties …
but the question is …what would be the best way to explain it to other parents who invite ???
why can't you provide a list of all the foods your kids can't eat?, it's not that impossible, that way you kids won't miss out. If you don't think the parents are able to understand that then surely you dont need a good enough reason to explain why your kids cant go.
Most of the parents in NY area are conscientious of the fact about other dietary laws. For instance whenever my jewish friends come to my house. I make sure to buy kosher meat and not mix diary products. He does the same and goes out to a halal meat place (even though I have told him that kosher is fine).
Same with kids and birthday parties, usually it is a pizza party, I odnt think anyone is gonna bake or roast a ham for a kids birthday party.
You should send them and to be safe (for your mental peace) tell the parents hosting the party that your kids eat kosher (no need to get into halal andall) people understand.
Afia, I know what you mean. Just tell the parents that your kid is not allowed to eat meat at all. Not even food with meat-extracts or animal fats. In Europe, most of the kids-parties have things as fries or pizza or something, so it shouldn't be such a big deal. If the parents are willing to understand this, it should be all okay :-)
As someone said before I would simply call the parents and explain to them what the children can and cannot eat. I think its unfair to deprive your kids of social experiences out of school simply because of food. If you can't openly communicate with the families than I wouldn't send them to the party because obviously you aren't acquainted with them well enough. Now would be a good time to start educating your kids on what food they should avoid eating whether they are at school or at a social gathering. Let them party it up a bit though, come on.
I agree with the replies above. Talk to the hosts and see if they can arrange something for your kids.
It is tough but it's just a start..there are going to many situations in the future where you and your kids will have to step aside because you are 'different'. It's better if you face it rather than avoiding it.
If I were you, I would send my kids with two samosas each..na lugay gi bhook..na koi other worries. :-)
alhamdulillah , my kids specially the elder one understand this issue ....they don't even eat a candy before asking if there r anythings non halal listed on label ....
plus i'm sure many of you know its not just meat .....my list of e-numbers tells me there r haram ingredients even in breads n buns .....cakes , n cheese , even some crisps etc. too ....
so its not easier to give a list that way .....
well, i'll talk to parents if i got a chance to .....but i'm already facing enough racism ....i'm not sure if i can cope with any more
Its very important to socialize in comunity...
you got some very good suggestions already
I am with Version here, I think it is easiest way to ask them if they could go halal/koshar or vegitarian. I think going with kosher saves you from tension of checking e-numbers. Jews take care of it themselves :)
Afia, i know that you are doing your best to raise your kids according to islamic teachings. I spent my kidhood in europe and when my sis and i were small, if anyone at parks would give us something to eat, we would say, that we dont eat pork, so we will not take it! hehe, imagine three or four years old telling this to adult at a time, when muslims were rare in europe.
as about the e- numbers, well personally i have stopped looking at them, as if so then everything from outside would be haram.
and i personally dont know anyone, who looks so exactally at these, i'll ask my hubby about this matter, as he has studied islamic law, he will know the answer.
Christians dont normally shop at kosher shops, most probably Afia is worried about the kids food like chips, cookies, candies, cake ect.. that will be served at the kids parties, that contain E-numbers that are defined as haram from islamic point of view.
Saadia thank you very much ....
your answer was helpful ....n please do ask your husband ....
yes, i know e- numbers r everywhere on everything ....but i usually do find stuff with harmless /halal numbers .....if not then we don't bother
but its difficult when u need to explain it to others ....many come to me saying we don't have pork etc. on parties its just chicken ....!!! n it gets difficult when i have to explain why we can't eat that chicken when we r not vegetarian !!!
n plus would u like to tell me ...how u n ur sis used to decline/attend these parties here .....i wouldn't know as i spent my childhood in pakistan
:)
Afia, at that time, there were no e-numbers issue, at the beginning my parents didnt even eat any meat for a year, till someone told them, they can eat kosher chicken from the jew shops, as there were no muslim shops at that time.
I must confess, later when we were in america we would even eat burgers from fast food, non halal/zabah. (now i am back to halal zabah food.)
We did go to parties with parents, like my parents had some non pakistani neighbors and friends and they knew that we dont eat non zabah meat. (it all comes to telling them, why u dont eat certain food and they will accept it) they understand kosher, so tell that we muslims also have a kosher concept, that we personally follow and they'll understand.
aslamalekum Afia baji.. :) hmmm...kaafi mushkil saval poocha hae aap ne...
kya waqai agar aap ke bachay in parites pe na jayein toh un ke parents mind kar jayein ge?
kyun ke hamein bhee bachpan mein school se boht see parties kee invitations milti theen lekin hum saaron pe nai jatay thay...koi as such mind nai karta tha...kyun ke woh toh boht young age hoti hae na...haan class 8-9 ke baad phir bhee log mind kerte haen...aur ab is age pe toh mind kerte haen...lekin bachpan mein mera nai khayal koi mind karta tha...
as for the parties...aik taraf i wana tell u ke bachon ko in parties pe na janay dya karein pata nai wahan kaisa mahol hota ho ga aur bachon pe bura asar paray ga...lekin doosri taraf bachon ko bhee toh socialising kerni chahiye apnay age ke doosray bachon se...
hmmm..
aap log jahan hotay haen wahan koi Muslim ya pakistani families naheen haen? mere khayal se aap un se apnay rabt-o-zavabit barhayein aur waheen apnay bachon ko bheja karein takay aap ke bachon ko friends kee kami mehsoos na ho..
school ke friends se bhee bachay friendship rakh saktay haen lekin school kee hadd tak...
hamari khud bachpan mein jo school mein friendships theen woh sschool kee hee hadd tak theen..meri school kee sahelyaan kabhee ghar waghera naheen aati theen na hi mein un se milnay jaat thee..woh 8/9th class ke baad jab aise projects milna shuru huay ke un ke ghar jana zaroori hua tab thora ana jana tha par woh bhee boht kam..
is lyay mere khayal se jahan tak parents kee baat hae jo aap ke bachon ko invite kerte haen..hmm..im sure keh har koi jin ko woh invite kerte hon ge woh jatay toh nai na honge? is lyay mere apnay khayal se un ko kuch explain kerne kee zaroorat naheen...bas aap apnay bachon ko lekin pyaar se samjha deyn ke un ko un ko kyun naheen jana in parties pe..
I find it easier to just say that Harris is a vegetarian toddler and that way other parents and his nursery know not to give him anything that contains meat or its by products.
irem .....its not that i'm worried k woh mind ker ja'ayn gay.....but i still need to explain the reason
anas is not social at all ....n thats getting on my nerves lately .....i think he needs to develop a circle of some kids as friends .....n thats something i don't see happening in near future ....if i invite any of these children to our place ...their parents will obviously expect me to reciprocate ,,....n thats the problem
on the other hand , hassaan is super social ....n is always invited on either parties or just playtime together .....if i'm arranging any visits for anas ,....its simply not fair if i don't allow hassaan to go ....n theres the problem
i want to take a firm stand now .....n decide once rather than changing my reasoning every other day ....
n well , we don't have any pakistani families around .....its an international school ....n only pakistanis other than us r embassy related ....n for some odd reasons ....they don't like to mingle with 'public'
shahreen ...yes its easier to say that ....but how can i say that when my kids take meat in their snack/lunch box to school .....everyone around them knows they r not vegetarians