LOL Okay guess I missed alot here.. He is VERY possesive, had it been in moderation I wudn't mind but asking me "where are u now?" "who's there with u" he doesn't like ANY of my male friends, people I work with.. including gay makeup artists! Forget sleeveless he doesn't even like half-sleeves! NO sari's.. staying-out late, heels, dark eye-makeup, dark lipsticks ugh! No concerts.. :S no driving!
I've known my friends for the past 7 years and they respect my fiance a lot and I know for a fact they never meant to insult him at all.. all my friends have always been males and my family has never had any problems with them. And my friend was actually pulling his leg.. it wasn't even serious! I've cut-down everything and everyone's been complaining.. "how come u dont dress the same?", "how come we dont see u there anymore", "how come u dont play whatever sport anymore". Is it right to ask the person u love to give-up whatever they once enjoyed doing..?
And oh due to the nature of his work he's almost ALWAYS surrounded by female models and he himself is Mashallah very goodlooking, however I've never stopped him from working with them, I've never asked him who he's with either.. or what he's wearing!
The issue here isn't abt my clothes or that particular txt, it's just the fact that is it alright to let sumone take complete control over u're life? He knows I love him to bits and will eventually do whatever he wants (after a 4 day tantrum ofcourse!)
maybe u 2 shud just sit down and discuss this. just the 2 of u. discuss what 'rules'' u have for eachother, what u dont like and so on.
talk, communicate, compromise.
good luck.
Okay, suppose u're fiance is EXTREMELY possesive and just can't tolerate ANY of u're male friends.. he has an issue with u wearing sleeveless, low backs and a lot more.
U're out with u're friends (male) and they complain abt how much u've changed etc, and u let u're friend use u're fone to txt u're fiance and he writes sumthing on the lines of "Hi this is ____ a friend of ___ just wanted to say that please allow her to be herself and dont stop her from things before marriage" Is it terribly wrong..?
tht might had been last msg from her cell phone to my cell phone..
if u have prob. u shud talk to him rather then ur frnd (esp. if ur frnd is male ... n he hates u being wid them) ........
no seriously if my finacee was doing this i wudnt be wiht him its just too much
u cant wear wat u want to u cant put make up on u cant do wat u want to do so wat else u epect later on??
dont eat? dont breathe? dont sleep??
if he had problem with one thign then its ok u can adjust but with eveythign its too much dotn u think??
if u still wanna stay together then simply say to him that hes gettign too possesive and he needs to relax a bit u kaheen bhaag nahi jao gi jo ke hes doing this
and trust me this type of ppl really create problems
Well you have call it off otherwise I am really impressed the type of mature responses you had from some of our married guppans like sadzzz, ira n niksik. Try to pick their message as they understand life's perspective from other end.
LOL Okay guess I missed alot here.. He is VERY possesive, had it been in moderation I wudn't mind but asking me "where are u now?" "who's there with u" he doesn't like ANY of my male friends, people I work with.. including gay makeup artists! Forget sleeveless he doesn't even like half-sleeves! NO sari's.. staying-out late, heels, dark eye-makeup, dark lipsticks ugh! No concerts.. :S no driving!
I've known my friends for the past 7 years and they respect my fiance a lot and I know for a fact they never meant to insult him at all.. all my friends have always been males and my family has never had any problems with them. And my friend was actually pulling his leg.. it wasn't even serious! I've cut-down everything and everyone's been complaining.. "how come u dont dress the same?", "how come we dont see u there anymore", "how come u dont play whatever sport anymore". Is it right to ask the person u love to give-up whatever they once enjoyed doing..?
Then why are you with him?
Can you really imagine ur life with him? with all those restrictions? if ti's not this today it can be something else u really love.
Why do you even care for what your friends have to say? Once you are married - your BEST FRIEND should be none other than your partner. Your friends should take a last seat in these matters - that too somewhere out in the parking lot where you can’t even see them from any of your windows either!
I think your partner is right in “protecting” what’s his! He seems reserved, conservative, and a caring person.
If you have all male friends who would text your partner about “letting you be you” then seriously your relationship is going downhill - and ONLY you would be responsible for the blame.
LOL Okay guess I missed alot here.. He is VERY possesive, had it been in moderation I wudn't mind but asking me "where are u now?" "who's there with u" he doesn't like ANY of my male friends, people I work with.. including gay makeup artists! Forget sleeveless he doesn't even like half-sleeves! NO sari's.. staying-out late, heels, dark eye-makeup, dark lipsticks ugh! No concerts.. :S no driving!
I've known my friends for the past 7 years and they respect my fiance a lot and I know for a fact they never meant to insult him at all.. all my friends have always been males and my family has never had any problems with them. And my friend was actually pulling his leg.. it wasn't even serious! I've cut-down everything and everyone's been complaining.. "how come u dont dress the same?", "how come we dont see u there anymore", "how come u dont play whatever sport anymore". Is it right to ask the person u love to give-up whatever they once enjoyed doing..?
And oh due to the nature of his work he's almost ALWAYS surrounded by female models and he himself is Mashallah very goodlooking, however I've never stopped him from working with them, I've never asked him who he's with either.. or what he's wearing!
The issue here isn't abt my clothes or that particular txt, it's just the fact that is it alright to let sumone take complete control over u're life? He knows I love him to bits and will eventually do whatever he wants (after a 4 day tantrum ofcourse!)
Yes you missed a lot in your original story. Based on this part of the story you do not want to marry a guy who is so narrow minded that he does not want you to even drive, that's pathetic and idiotic. It is not about how possesive he is , it is about how idiot of a guy he is. Find another guy who can accomodate and compromise with your life style. This world is full of kind of guys you are looking to marry.
LOL Okay guess I missed alot here.. He is VERY possesive, had it been in moderation I wudn't mind but asking me "where are u now?" "who's there with u" he doesn't like ANY of my male friends, people I work with.. including gay makeup artists! Forget sleeveless he doesn't even like half-sleeves! NO sari's.. staying-out late, heels, dark eye-makeup, dark lipsticks ugh! No concerts.. :S no driving!
I've known my friends for the past 7 years and they respect my fiance a lot and I know for a fact they never meant to insult him at all.. all my friends have always been males and my family has never had any problems with them. And my friend was actually pulling his leg.. it wasn't even serious! I've cut-down everything and everyone's been complaining.. "how come u dont dress the same?", "how come we dont see u there anymore", "how come u dont play whatever sport anymore". Is it right to ask the person u love to give-up whatever they once enjoyed doing..?
Gina when he got engaged to you he knew what he was getting into right? The Gina he chose for marriage was a liberal person. Then what is his problem now? If there were things he wanted to change about you those should have been at least hinted at in the very beginning so you could have gotten into this expecting it. Were you aware of his conservative inclinations at that point? Even if you were aware of it if you don;t feel comfortable living the life he wants u to live I don;t think u should be forced to.
Many are saying how you should go ahead and adjust cos islamically that is the 'right' thing to do, dress conservatively etc etc, I highly doubt his reasons are religious. Its out of possessiveness and probably jealousy that he wants all this. Its just not the right frame of mind, quite control freakish.
You stated that you have actually cut down on many thing he doesn't like and ur friends and family have been complaining about it? If you are comfortable making these changes then no one else's opinion matters really. But in all honesty I find his demands unreasonable. No heels??? no dark makeup??? no driving!!! give me a break! He has issues which are probably beyond fixing. You will have to make a LOT of compromises in this relationship, many of them unfair and it will end up stifling you.
Think again.
p.s. the txt i still think is wrong. unless smilies are used liberally there is no way for the other person to know whether it was a joke or not. Probably not the best medium to say something like that. Plus he doesn't like ur friends as it is and then for you to be out wit hthem, and they using ur phone to instrust him on how t obehave, I bet that sent him boucing off the walls heh
Once you are married - your BEST FRIEND should be none other than your partner. Your friends should take a last seat in these matters - that too somewhere out in the parking lot where you can’t even see them from any of your windows either!