welll i will tell you my story b4 i ask you people a question
i got married like 5 months ago and i am happy with my huband Allah ka sukar hai…my husband is a very good person and he care for me good and love me but the only problem i am having is with his mum she is no good person at all she says so many things which upset me and my husband and she is the one who also let to a fight btw me and my husband couple of times…i want to be a good daughter in law but my mum in law always insult me and let me down i am also looking after my husband grandma and my husband is happpy about it the way i care and look after his nani but i also care for my mum in law but she never appreciate and she always talk rubbish…right now these days my mum in law is in pakistan its been 3 weeks and me and my huband are happy Allah ka sukar hai and we have so much peace in our home but when his mum is around its like we have lost peace in our house…
as long as my mum in law will stay with us there will be no peace in my life so i just wanted to know is it ok if i say to my husband tht i want a separate house and i dont want to live in the house where his mum lives what does islam say about tht do i have any rights to ask my husband to keep me away from his mum or is it a wrong thing to do…?
welll i will tell you my story b4 i ask you people a question
i got married like 5 months ago and i am happy with my huband Allah ka sukar hai...my husband is a very good person and he care for me good and love me but the only problem i am having is with his mum she is no good person at all she says so many things which upset me and my husband and she is the one who also let to a fight btw me and my husband couple of times...i want to be a good daughter in law but my mum in law always insult me and let me down i am also looking after my husband grandma and my husband is happpy about it the way i care and look after his nani but i also care for my mum in law but she never appreciate and she always talk rubbish....right now these days my mum in law is in pakistan its been 3 weeks and me and my huband are happy Allah ka sukar hai and we have so much peace in our home but when his mum is around its like we have lost peace in our house....
as long as my mum in law will stay with us there will be no peace in my life so i just wanted to know is it ok if i say to my husband tht i want a separate house and i dont want to live in the house where his mum lives what does islam say about tht do i have any rights to ask my husband to keep me away from his mum or is it a wrong thing to do...?
According to Islam, it's your right to have a separate house if you want.
yes u do have right to ask for separate house! but then there might be another problem in that house, which u may or may not able to solve? then what will u do?
My dear sister, Imagine if she happend to be your mother, ur true biological mother and she have this mental disorder ( as per ur part of the story) would u have left her because of her this illness?
I know and iam positive that u might have tried ur best to settle with her, but i think u have to give her more time, u are another woman who have taken charge ( may be partially) of her son, it is nature, Once she is sure her son is safe hand, she 'll be ok
welll i will tell you my story b4 i ask you people a question
i got married like 5 months ago and i am happy with my huband Allah ka sukar hai...my husband is a very good person and he care for me good and love me but the only problem i am having is with his mum she is no good person at all she says so many things which upset me and my husband and she is the one who also let to a fight btw me and my husband couple of times...i want to be a good daughter in law but my mum in law always insult me and let me down i am also looking after my husband grandma and my husband is happpy about it the way i care and look after his nani but i also care for my mum in law but she never appreciate and she always talk rubbish....right now these days my mum in law is in pakistan its been 3 weeks and me and my huband are happy Allah ka sukar hai and we have so much peace in our home but when his mum is around its like we have lost peace in our house....
** as long as my mum in law will stay with us there will be no peace in my life so i just wanted to know is it ok if i say to my husband tht i want a separate house and i dont want to live in the house where his mum lives what does islam say about tht do i have any rights to ask my husband to keep me away from his mum or is it a wrong thing to do...?**
Walikum salam
Wow, just 5 months ?
Here is the simple answer lady !
If your husband lives with his mother in her house or fathers house then you can demand /request separate lodging facility. In this case if there is no other attendant then it would be the (religious) duty of son to look after his mother all by himself, and if she is dependant then it may well be round the clock care for which he may have to stay for long time with her. so in short he wont be able to give you time and you will feel lonely and neglected. because taking care of his ailing mother should be his first priority, cause *bewi chori jasakti hai, lekin maa nahi *
if your inlaws live with your husband in his house then you can not ask for separate arrangement because he is already living in his own house and he can accomodate his parents or any of his relative at will.
It is better to acquire some patience and try to bear harsh words and attitude. The situation might change in near future. Many women bear this attitude for years as old people have developed habits which are hard to change so pray for them and be gentle
my mum in law is never going to change i am pregnant and still she upset me and keep me in tension alots which is no good for me and my baby but she dont care
if my husband want to take me out somewhere she is like i will go with you too...man she never let us enjoy our newly marriage...even my grandma is a old lady who talk alots but atleat she is not like my mum in law....she is my husband mum and she should act like a mum not act like a biwi...my husband got reallly angry tht day when he wanted to take me out for a dinner and shopping as he got the good news tht he is going to be a dad soon but still she cant bear my husband taking me out first time since i got married...i didnt go for any honeymoon and i have no complains from my husband as long as he loves me the only problem is his mum i dont even have problem looking after his nani
well my sisters and brothers plz pray for me tht i get some peace in my life
First of all plsssssss dont take tension,this is worst thing in pregnancy.concentrate and take care of ur 'baby'.
Try to be bold,and said her straight forwardly that u want to go alone with ur hubby.
Tayyar ho kar unhe inform kar do ke u r going out for dinner etc...she will understand.
I think you should directly confront your mil and ask her if any specific behaviour of yours is affecting her. Talk to her nicely and tell her how much she reminds you of your own mother. Tell her that your husband and you are very lucky to have her as the mother.
With due respect, asking for a seperate house might be your right but going out on dinner with your husband or honeymooning is not an issue that should brought forward as a right. Your husband's mother has a right on him and I can bet that problem is this that he is not taking care of his duties as a son.
Old ladies tend to get insecure when there son's get married. Its normal through out the world. Give her some time and you also be patient. The guy is her son first and your husband later. Ask your husband to take care of her mum and you ask him how you can help him doing that. He is your husband for life so, not for few days. if you could not go out for a dinner, you want his old mother to be punished for that by moving you and your husband out of that house and leaving her unattended. Thats pretty shameful from my standrads