I am getting engaged very soon and in couple of month gonna be married. we approached girl’s family through marriage bureau and didn’t know the family before. So its sole arrange relationship. Girls family asked about my friends and approached them to inquire about my character but you know in our society its not possible to directly ask girls family the same. We have hard time searching any reference that can tell little about girls character or about family. We couldn’t find anyone in her college/uni who give some info. The only thing so far i know is girl’s facebook page with some pics (shared as public). I would be grateful if someone share some ways to achieve the purpose
Some brothers or sisters here may go offensive on this question but i request please be realistic and not emotional or biased when answer. I have protected myself the whole life and so feel its my right to investigate.
There is nothing wrong in asking for the references. Its not always about her character, but reputation of that family in general. Plus you get to know the people by their social circle. So its only fair t hat you ask them the same question that they asked you.
Best thing is to worry about the present and future, what happens in a persons past is not important, I had dozens of girlfriends in the past but once I found my wife I luv her to pieces and will never look at another girl, conversely I know guys that were never with a girl before their wives and are constantly raping girls with their eyes...talk to her, If you can hit it off that is what matters. I could give my life for my honey and couldn't care less about her past, woman is not a napkin once used has to be thrown out.
you can get the general idea about the family from their neighbors.
i don't think you can get much info about the girl's character in particular.
also in my opinion its better to stay away from asking the girls relatives or work place about girl's character because majority of the times there is so much family politics, jealousy prevailing in the families and work politics, envy prevailing at work places that they talk ill about the girl or the family just out of jealousy.
Are you friends with her on fb? If not, add her. Ask who her closest friends are and look at their profiles. The company one keeps can give a pretty good idea of character.
It's hard to get good references. Her parents would prob give another uncle or auntie as a reference- but would they really know her?... Likely not.
Getting to know how her friends are, what they do together, is the best idea IMO.