I posted a while back about my SIL who is very sick. At first, the docs thought her Lupus was flaring up but it turns out that she has MS. Very sad. The absolute worst thing is that its affecting her brain and she is suffering something similar to dementia. She repeats herself endlessly, she cant remember the simplest things, even doesnt recognize family at times. She has stopped taking care of herself, does not shower or eat and when she is encouraged or told to do so, she becomes very combative and angry.
She is seeing docs and they are trying new meds etc so its not medical advice I’m seeking here but rather how to help her? Has anyone else had experience dealing with dementia? How to avoid getting her so combative while helping her to help herself?
Thank you kindly Mirch. Yes I've been to both and have found useful info on treatments and info to help PATIENTS deal with their illness but really nothing for the care-givers and how THEY can help the patient which is the thing we need now....I'm sure its out there, I just gotta google more I guess.
Yes, patience has been key. Sadly, I am too far away to be of any help to them other than moral support. They live a few states away so its my brother and my Mom caring for my SIL and they're both doing a great job, its just that she gets so combative when she is asked to eat food, take a shower/bath or do her PT exercises....she just wants to sit on the couch all day, TV on but she doesnt really see it, never changes channels and cannot describe what she's watching. This is SO hard on them all. and so very sad to see a young, previously vibrant woman deteriorate to this point so quickly.
I have been to group homes and care centers where there is a caretaker at all times, 24/7. The idea of a group home (not a rehab center which is different) is to group people together who are going through rough patches (diseases, etc) and when those patients are grouped in one home, it is at least a little better for them. Visits from the family members and such are always encouraged in group homes. What they do enforce is some policies, shower daily, be on-time for breakfast (say 8 AM sharp), on-time for lunch and dinner. A lot of them provide three full meals a day. I think the best thing for such patients is not to be with family members all day long. The behavior and characteristics of such patients can get from bad to worse very quickly and it effects everyone within distance. If patients are grouped together with other individuals who are going through their own set of problems, they see a different side and sometimes that encourages those patients to take care of their health.
Meds are very important also, and caretakers ensure that they are taken regularly.
Mirch posted some very good info and it might be an additional advice to seek the group homes which provide services you can trust. Keep us updated with her situation Mamaof3.
did your brother try to find out the cause of her sickness?? because it sounds very strange for a young woman to have this disease...
Yes she has a form of Multiple sclerosis that causes the central nervous system to rapidly deteriorate. Not strange but also not all that common. Its a nasty disease.
Dhobi, thank you for that info, I am starting to look into this type of thing for her. I think at this point, an "adult daycare" type of setting would be really good for her. My brother has to work full time and my mom is older, not as capable of caring for her as a daycare setting would be.
I will post any progress - thank you all for kindness and advice :)
MO3, Im so sorry to hear of your SIL's condition. I dont have much advice to offer but I will definitely keep her in my prayers. May Allah give her health and happiness and your family the strength to be there for her. Ameen.
Perhaps seek some social services agency. My good friends works for one such agency in NJ. Their clients are the caretakers of the mentally ill patients. I am not sure of the details, but they provide sort of therapy and assistance in what to do/how to handle just venting...even
Ina lilahi wa ina ilaihi rajioon
mmm unfortunatly i dont have any advice for u but one thing that i can do is to pray for all of u, and insha Allah i will.
Yes, patience has been key. Sadly, I am too far away to be of any help to them other than moral support. They live a few states away so its my brother and my Mom caring for my SIL and they're both doing a great job, its just that she gets so combative when she is asked to eat food, take a shower/bath or do her PT exercises....she just wants to sit on the couch all day, TV on but she doesnt really see it, never changes channels and cannot describe what she's watching. This is SO hard on them all. and so very sad to see a young, previously vibrant woman deteriorate to this point so quickly.
Mamaof3 my SIL has Eplilepsy and we didnt knew she had it till recently. she used to forget things as well. if she is cooking she would forget to add masala's in, leave stove gas on and go to her room and sleep. we were so confused about behaviour till one day she told me that she forgets what she is doing and recalls after 20 min. i didnt took it seriously and told her she has mental problems.
few months later she had seizure and we knew about her illness. she had seizure in pak and doctors gave her medicines for heart and never investigated.
we have to keep an eye on her. she cant be in bathroom for too long, can not miss her medicine whatever happens.
its very hard. i feel so much for your brother and Mum. but your SIL needs them.
mamaof3 this is so depressing to hear yr sil in this condition. May Allah give her good health soon inshallah.
Please fill us in with results and condition status for our information if you may. Tks