Re: Need advice - am I being unreasonable and unfair?
:k: I think OP needs to win her MIL’s trust and respect first. Whether she likes it or not, her MIL has been living at that house probably for decades and has her own routine. I’m sure it’s also hard for the MIL to have another woman come in the house and change the way she has done things for YEARS.
I think it was a huge mistake for OP to cook separate food for herself/husband…and even order take-out. And that’s b/c clearly the husband never caused a big issue about him disliking his mother’s cooking. So all of a sudden, from MIL’s pespective, the OP comes in and within a few months, is doing things “her way”.
OP also hasn’t shown any interest in learning any recipes from the MIL, or even initiating little conversations in order to build a bond with her. I imagine all this is making the MIL even more defensive towards what she PERCEIVES to be a woman (ie. OP) trying to “dissolve” the way she has maintained her family for years.
OP also states that her husband is close to his mother and his parents (and him) always planned on him living with them. OP knew her husband for 6 YEARS before marriage. So given these details…I can see why her husband gets pissed off when she tells him things like she’s not obligated to do anything for his parents OR that she doesn’t doesn’t have any interest in learning any recipes from his mom etc. No matter how frustrated we wives get with our in-laws…we really should watch what words come out of our mouths towards our husbands about their parents.