Re: need a different kind of inlaws advice
just involve urself with whatever they are doing... dont ask.
If they are in the kitchen.. go there and start chit chatting and asking about what they do and things they are into.
If they have kids, it'll be even more easier for u to just start talking about baby stuff. Its something u can all relate to. So sharing experience and funny things that have happened is always a good start and good way to break the ice.
Ive been married 4 yaers.. and i sometimes still feel formality now and then with my nand, but i know if i just start talking randomly about things that interest her, its like we become best friends for that time :)
with my bhabhi its different.. we're cousins and have known each other for awhile. So we're very open with each other about stuff..