Everyone in Pakistan has naukars to help with cooking, cleaning, ironing clothes, driving families around etc etc and are, over time considered just like family. I remember when I used to visit pakistan we used to bring presents for everyone in the family and then separate things for the naukars like candies, chocolates, and clothing as well. The families there treat them well also… taking them along to restaurants and weddings… but unfortunately some of them turned out to be… after all these years.. what you would call “namak haram”… considering the amount of time they spend each day with teh families and teh number of years this particular naukar of ours had spent with us, after my daada passed away she left the family and has basically spilled as many secrets that she knows and has overheard over the years to the new family she’s working for.
How careful are you/were you in discussing things in front of naukars? In Pakistan people tend to say whatever they want without thinking twice (at least in my experience) in front of them, somehow because they dont care what they think of them, but really I think people need to be more careful cuz you just never really know with people.
Share your experiences.. good or bad.. with naukars
how can u trust an outsider no matter how nicely u treat them, is still an outsider when it comes to sharing trust. If we can't trust ourselves with a secret or watch closely our own actions with non-family members, its abit too much too expect from the hired helpers to keep a lid on the secrets.
Everyone in Pakistan has naukars to help with cooking, cleaning, ironing clothes, driving families around etc etc and are, over time considered just like family
If every one in Pakistan has naukars, where do the naukars come from, do they have naukars too?
Well, we have 3 maid working for us for different chores… I talk to them, laugh with them, ask them about their families, give them food/clothes regularly… Give them gift/eidi etc…
But yeah there has to be a line, I dont talk about my personal stuff infront of them, no buraiyan etc. the thing is that they work for us and get paid, they have to be nice to us. Sometimes, they do try to explore the secrets of our families, but on has to be careful. No spilling secrets EVER infront of them :nono:
Yes one thing that should be done before hiring a maid/worker, that one should keep a photo copy of their NICs and get them registered in a near by thaana… One of our uncles does this and no naukar of his has any himmat to do play naughty with him
Everyone in Pakistan has naukars to help with cooking, cleaning, ironing clothes, driving families around etc etc and are, over time considered just like family. I remember when I used to visit pakistan we used to bring presents for everyone in the family and then separate things for the naukars like candies, chocolates, and clothing as well. The families there treat them well also... taking them along to restaurants and weddings... but unfortunately some of them turned out to be... after all these years.. what you would call "namak haram"... considering the amount of time they spend each day with teh families and teh number of years this particular naukar of ours had spent with us, after my daada passed away she left the family and has basically spilled as many secrets that she knows and has overheard over the years to the new family she's working for.
How careful are you/were you in discussing things in front of naukars? In Pakistan people tend to say whatever they want without thinking twice (at least in my experience) in front of them, somehow because they dont care what they think of them, but really I think people need to be more careful cuz you just never really know with people.
Share your experiences.. good or bad.. with naukars :)
Only bewaqoof people talk about family matters, personal/relationship stuff in front of naukar chaakar. You cant blame them if you yourself drop axe on your foot :p
Mostly these naukar , naukaraniyaan are treated very nicely and humanely. they are paid , fed and kept well. Only kameeney , Nau-dolateye people dont know how to keep servernts. And how to keep them in thier limits.
Their is a stark difference between untrained naukar and trained naukar.
Training a servent is itself an acquired branch of knowledge and requires skills.
Some overly compassionate people try to behave with them too nicely and try to educate kid servents. Which in my view is a waste of energy and time. Because their parents / gaurdians are least bothered about education and often dismiss the idea and wont show any respect for your compasion. They need money, Because they are poor thats all. Also the kid servent abhor the idea of getting proper education and passing the exam. Becasue obviously it is difficult and they are more interested in watching tv rather than completing a lesson. And since you are not a parent or gaudian you can force them. and if you do they would, they would leave the job, ultimately
I prefer the word helper and in pakistan these poor helpers are never treated like family.
bebo Bibi ! no body calls them naukar. They have names like everyone else you wont hear anyone call then
hey naukar kaprey istari karo
naukar ! chai banao
Instead Jamila ! kaprey istari karo noor zaman chai banao
You reffer them as naukar, mulazim , maasi , safaye waley , kaam wali. They wont mind. They would never go to court against you for discrimination because they damn care. They want to get paid for the job and treated fairly. thats it.
They cant be treated like family becasue they are not family. Naukar ko naukar hi rehna chaheye. If he is young man ,then you cant treat him like a brother. and if there is girls servent then i cant treat her like any of my female family member.
Neither you religion allows that nor society. You can treat anyone nicely without treating him/her at par with your family members.
Thats why I said the I prefer the word helper when referring towards them. Like so and so girl who is around for household help. Just like I would say husband or sohar instead of Khassam. Both words mean the same but for me one is more appropriate to use. You can call them whatever. And the original post said some thing like we treat them as family so I reponded that in my experience these poor ppl are never treated like family.
Only bewaqoof people talk about family matters, personal/relationship stuff in front of naukar chaakar. You cant blame them if you yourself drop axe on your foot :p
Mostly these naukar , naukaraniyaan are treated very nicely and humanely. they are paid , fed and kept well. Only kameeney , Nau-dolateye people dont know how to keep servernts. And how to keep them in thier limits.
Their is a stark difference between untrained naukar and trained naukar.
Training a servent is itself an acquired branch of knowledge and requires skills.
Some overly compassionate people try to behave with them too nicely and try to educate kid servents. Which in my view is a waste of energy and time. Because their parents / gaurdians are least bothered about education and often dismiss the idea and wont show any respect for your compasion. They need money, Because they are poor thats all. Also the kid servent abhor the idea of getting proper education and passing the exam. Becasue obviously it is difficult and they are more interested in watching tv rather than completing a lesson. And since you are not a parent or gaudian you can force them. and if you do they would, they would leave the job, ultimately
i have to disagree with that, some children might want to watch tv but equally some might want to learn, this is with all children not just poor. Not all poor parents are money minded some may want their child to learn and take them out of poverty.
i have to disagree with that, some children might want to watch tv but equally some might want to learn, this is with all children not just poor. Not all poor parents are money minded some may want their child to learn and take them out of poverty.
Surely , there will be exceptions but extremely rare. Sad and bitter fact of life in pakitan that Poor people produce more kids so that they start earning for themselves and their parents as early as 5,6 years of age.
You would realize once you live in pakistan , or india that there are millions of domestic servents in big cities. Still even larger number of people are homeless , shelter less, and live in far adverse poverty than domestic servents.
The only way that child learns, get education and take his parents out of poverty is that he/she goes to school and pass grade and pass exams and complete his high school. All of this is possible with the consent of his parents and thier sincere support.
Some noble and kind families do this kindness to educate kids of their servents and get them enroled in schools and support their expenses. This is only possible if the servents live with them permanetly, in servent quaters ( i.e khaandani naukar)
