Nationality, Religion and Trust

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1

I’ve been looking through some recent threads and I’m forced to consider how anyone can decided whether or not to “trust” another based simply/solely on their:

  • ethnicity/culture
  • faith
  • nationality

That has got to be the equivalent of saying “Oh there’s an african-american guy in the elevator, so I’ll just wait for the next car.” Just a bit ludicrous don’t you think?

When it comes to such things as trust, I would hope that we treat everyone as individuals instead of lumping them all into one big generalization.

2

you may be right but to trust someone who is totally new to you will take very long whereas if you have some common basis the process of trusting each other will be relatively short. And i dont agree with your statement, it is really too too much generalised or probably if you hate that persons than that statment may be right.

3

Salaam Muzna jee.

Trust ke meri nazar main bohut si qismain hotee hain, jaise:

Gahr waloon per Aitmaad (trust)
Khaandaan waloon per aitmaad
Hum-mazhab per aitamaad
Kisi bhi 'rah chalte' per aitamaad

Wagaairah
Hun alag alag logon pe alag alag tarha se trust karte hain.

Aap shaiyed aakhri wale ki baat ker rahe hain. Yeh sach hai ke humain doosroon peh trust karna chaahiye, jo ke ziyadah tar log karte bhi hain - Lekin choon ke hum har kisi ke dil aur dimagh main nahin jhaank saqte, to jab koi doosra humaree samajh main nahin aata to hum us se khofzadah ho jate hain, aur aisa act karte hain, jaise hum us pe aitbaar nahin kar rahe, phir aahista aahista khud ko yaqeen dila laite hain ke us pe aitabaar karna hee nahin chaahiye.

Yoon bhi hum khud se milte julte logon pe jaldi trust kar lete hain, shaiyed is liye ke we hope ke doosre soch aur ikhlaaq haum se milta julta ho.

W'salaam
Saba

[This message has been edited by sabah (edited March 18, 1999).]

4

Dear Muzna,

For as long as we have lived, trust or not to trust has been the question for all of us.

I think that "Trust" has several associated categories which we often take to be synonymous
to the word itself.

When I think Trust,
I think Reliance...
I think Confidence...
I think Faith...
I think Dependence...

All of the above denote a feeling of certainty that a person or thing will not fail.
He/She/It will not fail your expectations.

Furthermore, some people associate different levels of expectations with each
feeling.

Faith connotes unquestioning, often emotionally charged belief.
This is where Religion comes in for many of us. Often it is our Faith in an uncertified
result that makes the result come true.

Confidence, which suggests less emotional intensity, frequently implies stronger grounds for assurance.

Reliance is a trustful committment. You usually want your friends to be reliable so that they may
keep their word with you.

Dependence means you can find help or support from the person.

Ethnicity, and religion therefore certainly do play a part in determining the level of trust
you have in someone (atleast initially!). Personally for me, trust is something which comes with interaction and
communication.

[This message has been edited by Umar Talib (edited March 18, 1999).]

5

I think 'Trust' is the stupidist word in English language, and as a 'concept' it is even more stupid.

There is no need to 'Trust' one another, as long as every thing is out in the open, and everyone is allowed to make independent judgement calls.

"Show me what you are talking about, and I will 'Trust' you", regardless of your ethnicity/culture/faith or nationality.

Put differently, "I trust you, but lets have it down on a piece of paper and have it witnessed by a few 'un-biased' people". I think it is the same concept that is used when an Islamic Nikah Nama (marriage certificate) is filled out. One cannot say that having some elders sign as witnesses is an indication of a 'Lack' of trust between the marrying parties.

Finally, I 'Trust' that you will take my words for it.

Your's Trustworthy

6

[quote]

Faith is the essence of trust. Whoever lacks in faith, lacks in trust.

[/quote]

From quotes of Waris Shah

7

Quote from US dollar bills:

In God we Trust, everyone else please pay cash

8

Hmmm…Muzna Ji, Yani kay “karay dari wala, pakra jaAy monchon wala?” Hei na bori baat?

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

Hmmm… man I don’t want to write another new edition for my book, but the way it works with me is…

Alhamdulilah! Allah SWT nay chati hisSs bari tayz atha kee howi hei, so I can’t give my analysis in words here about the wrd “trust.” So I just follow my instincts! (MashAllah, MashAllah, Shaytan ka mon kala!)

Daysee Behna :slight_smile:

9

Items listed by Muzna are common grounds on which one approaches those who are likely to have similar understanding about life and clutre etc; afterwards each and everyone is an individual being and only experience prevails about trusting her or him.

10

I have a quote too. It's from W. Edwards Deming, one of the founding fathers of Business Statistics:
"In God we trust, all others must use data".

I think S Malik has made a very good point and I agree with it.

Also, in many cases, I think after knowing an individual better, trusting him or her also becomes relatively contextual and subjective upon the matter of trust itself. You may have a friend whom you trust that if you lend money to him or her, he or she will return it back as promised but you may not trust him or her with a certain personal information as you may think that he or she cannot keep a secret and babbles to other about such things. So naturally you will choose what you can or cannot trust about a particular person.

Since individuals can vary in personal attributes from eachother irrespective of the broad catagories listed by Muzna, personal trust cannot be based solely on such grounds. However, there are other narrower catagories (usually based on specific code of conduct and/or practice) that actually help to define the nature and extent of personal trust that you put in a person. For example, most of the people would be more trustworthy of ordinary people as compared to ex-convicts.

11

Trust ..?
Trust me you can NOT trust anyone in today's world.

12

Umar talib
great points about the various levels of trust.
It seems people feel that if they are comfortable with someone culturally…they can trust them. Not so…bad people exist (whatever that definition of bad is) in all races, cultures and religion. It would be naïve not to realize this.

But nationalist you can…it just takes a while.

I always was surprised at how racist we dessi can be. Not only do proliferate racism against others, we do it within our own community. So its little surprise we've got it here too. However, little do we realize as we look down on others for some minor difference, we have others that look down at us.

My dadajee once told me when I made a flippant remark about blue Hindu gods.
"how can they respect your god and your religion if you show no respect for them?"
It becomes a simple matter of teaching your children and yourself to judge others on
how they are to you and what they did in their life. Not to judge by terms that that
person had no control over or are fixed.

Daysee Behna
Good point instincts do help but sometimes your instincts are fogged by expectations and attitudes of those you were raised with….which don’t allow you to explore different people and cultures.

Some people use the net as an avenue too release personal frustrations and anger. Instead of an opportunity to find out how others think….discuss….perceive the world.
It’s their loss.

Muzna
you’re right. We are all guilty of generalizations….no matter how big or small. Thanks for reminding me.

13

KashGirl,
Hmm… I don’t have expectations from anyone, and I don’t meet new ppl with a sort of a attitude in my heart :)Usually, I meet new ppl with the thought that “there’z no evil” but the more I know them, the more I get aware about their potentials and so on…(apply this to the ppl of other religions and backgrounds).
I have met lots of different ppl, and as the ol saying “experience teaches one” I use that to guide me thru :slight_smile:

However, I try not to judge anyone from their outlook or by other’s sayings. I believe in the rule to “see and hear yourself” and to be honest that helps tons to teach me so many things in life. :)( btw…no wonder, I’m so good at making lots of new friends tehee…)

Oh, and u know how grown ups tell kids, “Hey, keep away from that yadi yada!” Hmm…this might sound kinda not nice, but I’m the type that go out and discover the truth herself, only then I learn whatz good and whats bad>> am kinda risk taker, once in-a-while :slight_smile:scary eh?!

Later,

Daysee Behna

Ps. Kshgirl, okay, I’m taking some words back, I mean, if I’m all alone, and see a big “HUGE” macho biker guy,all tatooed, 10 times my size, I wud never dare to go in the elevater with him. I mean chickenizm saves my day lots, once in awhile :)teeheee… So does chickenizm also comes in the catagory of genralizing??? If yeah, then

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

I’m in I guess

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

OoOoh No I just contradicted my self. Oh what the heck…

[This message has been edited by Daysee Behna (edited March 21, 1999).]

14

Muzna, good question (its been bothering me too). Here is my take,

On a personal level:

We tend to trust those closer to us, emotionally, physically and spiritually, more readily than those further away from us. We draw similar parallels with those who share ethnic, cultural, religious and national roots. Our previous life experiences along with our perceived closeness to individuals determines are decision to trust or not trust. Being "judgmental" is practically innate, and a difficult emotion to curb, it often enters into our decision making weather we like it or not. However, categorically "generalizing" about particular groups of people (weather they are different religious groups, ethnicity's, classes, or races) and determining their trustworthiness on those grounds alone is unfair and unjust - unjust both to the person on the other end of the generalization and yourself. By being judgmental, you miss the opportunity to get to know someone and develop a relationship, which may have been well worth your time.

On a political level:

I know this is not the political forum, but I think there are two parts to Muzna's question. And the second part deals with political relationships between the countries which we attach ourselves to and their perceived "enemies". In the case of Pakistan, being a Muslim populated nation - Israel becomes a country which is to be "distrusted" and of course to the south - India is (many believe) a nation to be despised as a dishonest nation which will do everything in its power to weaken Pakistan (a country which it strongly wished was never created in the first place). The threads which, discuss the topic of "distrust" on the "GupShup" forums, tend to do so in light of the political relationships of Pakistan with these countries. They are the product of century old historical rivalries between "Islam" and "Judaism", "Hinduism" and "Zionism". Weather on a political level our leaders can trust the leaders of these countries, is another topic (the other side of the coin is - can they trust our leaders?). Trust is something that has to be built, the wounds inflicted on the people of these nations over the course of the last 50 odd years alone, will be difficult to heal - trust among the leaders and policy makers residing in these nations will not be easily achieved, it will take time to rebuild.

But in terms of the people who live in these countries, who are in stark contrast to their leaders (most don't trust their leaders), on a personal level, they can be trusted - trust them and give them the same level of respect you give others in your life, until they give you a reason to do otherwise.

Achtung ;)

15

In my personal case, I have not been very trustworthy and have hurt people who gave me lot of love affection and care. In fact, I may not be able to forgive myself for some of those cases ever in life.

On the other hand, people have in general been nice to me.