I have noticed an attitude amongst some Pakistanis. They consider their paternal family their closer relatives whereas they consider their maternal relatives as ‘‘lower’’ relatives. Of course this does not apply to all as we in my family were more attached and closer to our maternal relatives but I remember my dad telling u that the dadyaal is one’s khandaan and nanyaal is not one’s khandaan. I also remember my Pakistani teacher boasting that his kids were happier with their dado and dada and not as happy and interested with their nano and nanabu.
Also I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of fuss about the phopo-bateeja relationship. My mum and her sisters were very attached and are still most fond of my mamoo’s sons, though of course they love their bhaanjas but not as much as their bateejays.
This sounds like some leftover Hindu influence where the woman’s family was considered inferior.
If we refer to Islam its not the same. There is a hadith from the Prophet (saw) which says that sister’s children are also part of the family.
[HR][/HR]
[INDENT]Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, “The son of the sister of some people is from them or from their own selves.” Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 80, Number 754
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Both Nanyaal and Dadyaal contains good and bad people who want to see you happy or unhappy and make your life miserable or cherish it. I don't pick paternal or maternal!... I only pick the ones who care for me and show affection. I stay away from family politics in general.
O bhai har jahil thought process is not because of Hindu influence. Its not that we are very aqalmand ourselves. And even if it was an hindu thing tou aap ne isee liye tou Pakistan banaaya thaa. 5 years ke baad bhee wohi “Hindu Influence” ka ronaa ronay wala starts looking stupid.
I mean this is the quom who needed a hadees that parents of two daughters will go to jannat, to accept the dukh of having daughters and not son, or else they were not ready for it. We still do wazeefa and taweez to have a son. This is not because of Hindus, but because of that 1400 years old jahilana biased that we inherited against girls.
Ap bohat feminist ho rahay hain? lol .. There are certain things we have adapted from Indian culture though.
and to be honest, they have adopted from us too. Its a give and take of multi cultural society, but what is our excuse now after 65 years of separation?
I have noticed an attitude amongst some Pakistanis. They consider their paternal family their closer relatives whereas they consider their maternal relatives as ''lower'' relatives. Of course this does not apply to all as we in my family were more attached and closer to our maternal relatives but I remember my dad telling u that the dadyaal is one's khandaan and nanyaal is not one's khandaan. I also remember my Pakistani teacher boasting that his kids were happier with their dado and dada and not as happy and interested with their nano and nanabu.
Also I've noticed that there's a lot of fuss about the phopo-bateeja relationship. My mum and her sisters were very attached and are still most fond of my mamoo's sons, though of course they love their bhaanjas but not as much as their bateejays.
This sounds like some leftover Hindu influence where the woman's family was considered inferior.
If we refer to Islam its not the same. There is a hadith from the Prophet (saw) which says that sister's children are also part of the family.
[HR][/HR][INDENT]Narrated Anas bin Malik:The Prophet said, "The son of the sister of some people is from them or from their own selves."Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 80, Number 754
[/INDENT]
The Hindus have moved on, at least the ones in the cities, the educated ones.
and to be honest, they have adopted from us too. Its a give and take of multi cultural society, but what is our excuse now after 65 years of separation?
I have noticed both father and mother want their kids to get closer to their own families... They feel the urge to dominate the spouse in explaining how better my family is than yours... I don't think it has to do with Hinduism... It has to do with our EGO and LOVE we have for our own family. I think it is in human nature. We don't want people to talk **** about the people we love... In the same way, my dad loves his siblings and parents while my mom loves her siblings and parents. I simply don't understand why it is hard to let go off the ego... I have no idea... I do know that I love my family a lot and I want everyone to respect them.
All the phuppos that I've ever come across don't love their brothers children that much. apparently their hatred for the Maami (doing raaj on the brother's heart, and therefore wallet) supersedes any love they could have held for their brothers offspring.
All the phuppos that I've ever come across don't love their brothers children that much. apparently their hatred for the Maami (doing raaj on the brother's heart, and therefore wallet) supersedes any love they could have held for their brothers offspring.
Thats a lie.. I am a phuppo and I love my brother kids more than anything... Stop generalizing!
Again, the joint family system is to blame because children in such households grow up with their dadiyal so naturally they will be closer to their dadiyal cousins.
I have noticed an attitude amongst some Pakistanis.
The keyword of your entire post is: some (pakistanis). Similarly there are some people who are more attached to their dadiyaal. So I didn't get your point. There will always be people attached more to one one.
Again, the joint family system is to blame because children in such households grow up with their dadiyal so naturally they will be closer to their dadiyal cousins.
Not exactly, again it depends. Does't matter where grandchildren live, joint family or not.
I am close to both families. But the fact that I have a huge maternal side and a smaller paternal side makes me incline towards my paternal side more. Less people to keep a connection with. No other reason.
O bhai har jahil thought process is not because of Hindu influence. Its not that we are very aqalmand ourselves. And even if it was an hindu thing tou aap ne isee liye tou Pakistan banaaya thaa. 5 years ke baad bhee wohi “Hindu Influence” ka ronaa ronay wala starts looking stupid.