My wife has asked for a Divorce, what if I dont want to give?

[diamond321]

Re: My wife has asked for a Divorce, what if I dont want to give?

@Sa1eem

Amarbail: Brother, I am sorry to hear the situation, as divorce could be devastating for any person (husband or wife), especially when children are involved. Obviously, if your wife is thinking of Khula, there must be something bothering her. I think, you should take the matter seriously and try to contact your wife (in person), discuss the problem with her, convince her that all would get sorted out, and make her change her decision, so that both of you could come to amicable agreement and live together.

**Diamond321:** I think you are talking about situation before amendment in Pakistan Khula law brought by Musharraf in 2002. From what I know (please confirm as I might be wrong, though I believe what I am writing is present situation in Pakistan).


Before amendment, Khula for women was possible, but was long procedure lasting several years, quite expensive, embarrassing and difficult if men were unwilling to cooperate. At that time, it is possible that presence of husband in court was a requirement. Anyhow, Khula in general was difficult, as usually husband (if he wanted to become notorious) use to make false allegations and claims that he paid huge amount of money that he wants to get back, taking things belonging to wife wrongly. Many husbands (notorious) used to ask wife for monetary compensation for cooperating. Usual Khula cases use to run for years.

Now, after amendment, things got simple and procedure shortened considerably for women wanting Khula. Once wife goes to court for dissolution of marriage, court issues notice to husband. If husband or his representative does not appear, court can proceed with Khula procedure and grant Khula. If Husband or his representative appears, he has to prove all allegations or claims. Regardless, Khula time got shorted considerably. I think, now it takes no more than 6 months.

As for children, what I know, wife gets the custody until they are 18. After that, children are free to decide who they would like to live with.

you are right that period for obtaining khula has been reduced and it does not take longer than 3 months. But as far as presence is concerned the judge hears from both sides and I don’t think khula will be granted if husband is not present. Submission of docs to union council and their certificate of divorce is very necessary esp for women because if that has not been done and woman later on gets married then her 1st husband or anyone else can file a case of zina and this has practically happened. So whether khula or talaq both men and women needs to fulfil the requirement.

I agree that because the period of obtaining khula has shortened women suffers less. But they still do suffer because husband and his family can’t refrain from keechar uchalna .

Custody of children is not a simple topic . According to my knowledge the father can claim for custody any time but in more than 90% of the cases mother has got the custody. From what I have heard after 12 years of age it’s child’s choice that matters and mother’s re-marriage makes the custody matter pretty complicated.