Re: my story
So after 4 months of seeing her, you realized then that you shouldn’t pursue her as your parents would never accept her? Be honest with yourself, OP. You knew well before the 4 months…you knew from the get-go…you had a pretty good idea from the very first moment you approached her that your parents would not be accepting of it.
So, why do we pursue things when we know fully well our families would neither be accepting nor would we have the courage to stand up to them? Maybe we just like to satisfy our egos…or our nafs…to derive a temporary pleasure from interacting with someone with no plan for commitment whatsoever. It’s kinda selfish. It’s one thing to have that attitude with something inanimate…like a hobby. Like how we tend to develop an interest in going to the gym…or in collecting stamps and baking cupcakes…but then we lose interest and it just becomes a passing phase. But the cupcakes don’t get hurt…the stamps won’t cry…and the gym membership may hurt ur wallet but at least you’re not hurting another person. When we treat people like temporary phases of enjoyment or pleasure…it’s worse…cuz feelings are tricky…they can change over time.
Even if you didn’t say “I love you to her,” it still doesn’t matter. Often times an attachment develops for the other person…even WITHOUT ever hearing those three words. You just need time for an attachment to develop. The longer you spend talking/interacting with a girl…the greater the potential for feelings to develop. And usually…the longer you stay in touch…the stronger the attachment gets…especially with women as they are more emotional. So, you both made the mistake of keeping in touch with each other when you both knew that a mutual attraction existed. So take this as a learning experience and next time don’t be naive enough to think that the girl (or even you) won’t develop an attachment so long as you don’t tell her “I love you.” That’s never a guarantee. The only thing that can help a person detach is to spend time away from something that is starting to become like an addiction. Staying in touch regularly…even if it’s only under the label or guise of “friends” …doesn’t help you or the other person move on. It just makes people become more stuck on each other.
This kind of struck me, maybe I should lay off talking to a girl who I know my parents would not accept, I would ask her but then again the same thing always goes through my mind, my parents, I dislike the culture but I’ll be real to myself, am I going to stand up them, probably not sadly, good post.