Don’t you just hate it when some parents would not admitwhen their son/daughter are wrong. My MIL and FIL would never ever ever saythat my son is wrong. Even when they know their son is wrong and even my husbandknows he is wrong, they always say oh no mera beta to ghalat hai hi nahi.Sometimes even my husband get surprised by their reaction when I try to tellthem something jokingly that he does that is wrong.
My MIL is always giving me lectures on how important theirson’s career is and I should always encourage and support him to do more,better. We were sitting together talking causually, I told her that my husband could do more with all the extra timehe has and I always encourage him because its important for his career. Well Iget a, he is already doing enough and doesn’t need to do any more.. I am likeumm okay. And then I told his dad jokingly that I keep HIS car clean, take itfor car wash and clean the interior myself so he would tell his son that that’shis job.. well I get a yeah you SHOULD be doing it. My husband was like dad…are you serious!!!
I am sure you guys deal with this too… How do you addressthis issue. These are just two examples I mentioned, they do a lot more. Its nothing serious or big but I don’t always like to hear that nomatter what… humara beta bilkul teekh hai and its you that need to change. Oh and my husband doesn’t agree with them.. but its still annoying to hear this. I spent a lot of time with my in-laws when they are visiting us and they constantly tell me … our children are the best and that’s how every child should be.
Don’t you just hate it when some parents would not admitwhen their son/daughter are wrong. My MIL and FIL would never ever ever saythat my son is wrong. Even when they know their son is wrong and even my husbandknows he is wrong, they always say oh no mera beta to ghalat hai hi nahi.Sometimes even my husband get surprised by their reaction **when I try to tellthem something jokingly that he does that is wrong.
My MIL is always giving me lectures on how important theirson’s career is and I should always encourage and support him to do more,better. We were sitting together talking causually, **I told her that my husband could do more with all the extra timehe has **and I always encourage him because its important for his career. Well Iget a, he is already doing enough and doesn’t need to do any more.. I am likeumm okay. And **then I told his dad jokingly that I keep HIS car clean, take itfor car wash and clean the interior myself so he would tell his son that that’shis job.. well I get a yeah you SHOULD be doing it. My husband was like dad…are you serious!!!
I am sure you guys deal with this too… How do you addressthis issue. These are just two examples I mentioned, they do a lot more. Its nothing serious or big but I don’t always like to hear that nomatter what… humara beta bilkul teekh hai and its you that need to change. Oh and my husband doesn't agree with them.. but its still annoying to hear this. I spent a lot of time with my in-laws when they are visiting us and they constantly tell me ... our children are the best and that's how every child should be.
Knowing your in-laws personalities....I wouldn't make comments like the ones above to them....even jokingly.
My future in-laws do this too (although not as blatantly as yours). I discovered this particular trait in their personality after the 1st time I met them!.....now I just keep our conversations to topics that has nothing to do with their son (food, weather, furniture, whatever is on TV etc.). Whenever I visit them (heck I got a visit coming up for Thanksgiving!) ...I keep topics very superficial and don't bother making any "jokes". Actually, my MIL likes to talk A LOT so I usually just let her talk and add in a polite smile or nod now and then. It's keeps any potential tension to a very minimum (they don't get offended by any "jokes" I might make....and I don't get annoyed by their remarks in return).
My fiance is also supportive like your husband and realizes his parents can a bit....nutty...at times. Having his support helps a lot. At least you and I are lucky in the sense that our partner supports us.....imagine having a man who actually agrees with his parents when it comes to views like this!
lol... i would say u r lucky if you have a husband who admits his mistakes or admits his parents being wrong sometimes.......
..... seriously you are LUCKY...
life is not fair. Your parents would likely say the same thing and you perhaps will say the same thing about your parents in any such situation...
No, not the case with my parents. They are pretty fair and would always want to ask me first if there is an issue before even talking or blaming my husband.
Knowing your in-laws personalities....I wouldn't make comments like the ones above to them....even jokingly.
My future in-laws do this too (although not as blatantly as yours). I discovered this particular trait in their personality after the 1st time I met them!.....now I just keep our conversations to topics that has nothing to do with their son (food, weather, furniture, whatever is on TV etc.). Whenever I visit them (heck I got a visit coming up for Thanksgiving!) ...I keep topics very superficial and don't bother making any "jokes". Actually, my MIL likes to talk A LOT so I usually just let her talk and add in a polite smile or nod now and then. It's keeps any potential tension to a very minimum (they don't get offended by any "jokes" I might make....and I don't get annoyed by their remarks in return).
My fiance is also supportive like your husband and realizes his parents can a bit....nutty...at times. Having his support helps a lot. At least you and I are lucky in the sense that our partner supports us.....imagine having a man who actually agrees with his parents when it comes to views like this!
This is a good advice... I do spend a lot of time with my in laws. They live with us for months when they visit so things come up randomly and I have to hear ... oh mera beta teekh hai!
No, not the case with my parents. They are pretty fair and would always want to ask me first if there is an issue before even talking or blaming my husband.
Thats what I was talking about .... how affirmative are you about your parents "NO, Not the case with my parents..." :)
Spiral you have too many expectations from your in-laws. You know the kind of people they are. Do you honestly think they will change overnight, stop blaming you for things and be fair? Of course not. They are old and they will never change. Don't even bother mentioning what you do for your husband because their response will only hurt you. You shouldn't let your in-laws get to you as long as your husband appreciates you and realizes how much you do for him. When it comes to your in-laws, just nod and smile. And you can roll your eyes when you turn away from them to get out your frustration! :D
life is not fair. Your parents would likely say the same thing and you perhaps will say the same thing about your parents in any such situation...
You couldn't be more wrong. There are lots of parents out there who don't coddle their children and see things for what they are. Loving your child doesn't mean turning a blind eye to their faults or shortcomings. In fact good parenting is when you actually reprimand your child if they've done something wrong, no matter how old they are!
This is a good advice... I do spend a lot of time with my in laws. They live with us for months when they visit so things come up randomly and I have to hear ... oh mera beta teekh hai!
If they're coming to live in the house you share with your husband....then they're in YOUR domain. Meaning you should try your best to control the "topics" that come up.
Avoid talking about your husband in front of them. Its obvious that your in-laws don't get your "jokes"....so why bother? Save those jokes for your friends.
My MIL loves to talking about cooking and decorations and her 3 year old granddaughter. I know these things by now. So if I see a possible topic coming up that might cause me to be upset....I just change the topic. I randomly ask her if she has any new pics of her granddaughter....I randomly ask her something about cooking (example: "Oh btw, when you get a chance, will you please teach me how to cook that xx dish you made) etc. Not only does it change the topic...but MIL becomes happy b/c I give her a chance to ramble about stuff SHE feels passionate about.
You already know their personalities....their likes/dislikes. In order to minimize your own tension/headache/sanity......learn to manipulate it. :)
You couldn't be more wrong. There are lots of parents out there who don't coddle their children and see things for what they are. Loving your child doesn't mean turning a blind eye to their faults or shortcomings. In fact good parenting is when you actually reprimand your child if they've done something wrong, no matter how old they are!
We are talking about huge majority here and I bet huge majority is always biased towards their own....