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Recently> after Indian tour I got chance to meet Pakistan cricket top four batsmen. First I congratulated them for surviving the hostile & fearsome fast bowling by Indians(Oh man! It’s a nightmare remembering Indian fast bowling—more shocking than Indian president Dr Kalam hairstyle—Irfan Pathan and Balaji were ruthless) and I presented set of bangles(choorian) to each player for showing their true colors.
As you can see we also had a friendly walk ..(you can figure out which one is who-BTW I am not in red tank top!)
Pakistan batsmen looked so relax(as u can see in picture) they know they never get any blame for any defeat—they are like Janat ke totay who are Masoom. You won’t find any inquiry or finger pointing. The role of Pakistani batsmen is just to fill up top slots..its all Bowlers(not blow) job to win matches..remember what Inzy(aka captain) said before 3rd match—its bowlers who will win matches…off course he was so right w/ his motta dimagh(fill will Sadar Bazar Multan lassi and Dalbeer ke laddoo)> batsman have no obligations. The rules are simple in Pakistan cricket> if u win you all get credit and if u lose we have Shoaib Akhtar—forget how we played just focus on Shoaib—how he can hit six and can’t bowl at the same time…we Pakistanis are known for screwing our best assets…Shoaib is guilty of being an outstanding bowler. Kasam se agar main Shoaib Akhtar hotta- I would have married Lara Dutta and shifted to India.
Few simple facts about Pakistani Batsmen:
Their Batting Technique:This is an open challenge for all those scientists who study and work on behavioral ecology and evolutionary psychology of human and animals. I can bet >you can make a monkey speak english but you can’t make shahid afridi play correctly…or you can train dogs to stop using doggy style for s*x but you can’t make Pakistani batsman stop playing cross the line.
Their respect for Bowlers: Any third rated bowlers who need recognition and respect can contact Pakistani batsman>>. So if you are Irfan pathan, Balaji, or Jacob Orham> Pakistan is the team for you. They will make you hero.
Getting selected in National team: Very simple! If you are not Faisal iqbal(Miandad nephew) all you need to do is score zillions of runs on dead pitches against street bowlers. forget about learning technique.
