Hi everyone,
So I am weeks out from the wedding, and there’s a sense of feeling down and confused. Not at my decision to be marrying my fiance, not at all..
But more so at the behaviour of..
Okay so, I’ve been engaged for over 4 years, and by now have come to terms with the varying nature of each individual within the inlaws. Been a great time to get my head around it all, and not come to terms with just surprises when one has an idealistic view on it’s just happy times. I’ve learnt to manage expectations and also keep others happy yet, trying to keep myself happy too. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it and my fiance and i have worked together quite well.
I was reading another post just then, and someone stated, MIL is NOT your mother, FIL NOT your father so keep your expecatations accordingly, and I completely agree. I’ve also come to this realisation.
What’s bothering me are the signs of MIL planning to cut ties or trying to cause disagreements right before the wedding so someoen from my side, looses their top and then BOOM unpleasent ties between both sides. But i know for a fact, my side, esp mum, dad won’t let that happen.
Perhaps this all just a speculation by me because I am getting emotional etc, but hypothethically this is true;
My question is, how am I to deal with this? I have always been trained to give utmost respect to elders, esp Inlaws, and I will continue to do that, but if one tries to cause problems with my family and you know create a situation where it’s uncomfortable to have my side, his side mingle post shaadi, what do I do?
Isn’t it fair to work both ways, I give his side love, and respect which they deserve, but same token everythings smooth at my end too? I can’t also expect my inlaws to behave the way I want them with my family, if they decide to maintain a big big distance, that’s fine, distances are always good between both sides, but not to the extent they’re not meeting in one party or something?
Has anyone been through this? How did you deal with it, to keep a balance between both sides? My parents are very understanding and I love and respect them for that, but as a daughter I feel just so weird, guilty and just GAAAH!
It causes such Ill feelings, and this is really the last thing i need before getting married 
Help/advice/previous expierence please?