Re: My new neighbors
Oh god, desis for neighbors. That has gotta blow.
Re: My new neighbors
Hope you don't mind me asking but what does she keep coming round for? surely it can't be sugar! what does she want exactly?
Re: My new neighbors
She wants someone to look after her kids whenever she is gone somwhere. Obviously cheapoo would never drop them at day care...she wants someone from same culture and language. I have had this happened to me before also. I have seen some women get wayyy too friendly with you and they invite you at their house all the time, in return, she can have the opportunity to drop her kids off for few hours. You become so obliged that you can't say NO. This is a very very common trend among Pakistanis Mahnoor. Please do not bother about her minding your rudeness etc. Just tell her flat out you do not have time to look after kids and YES please do not bother opening the door. She will get the message.
Re: My new neighbors
Well....if her kids are ill-mannered then you've got the perfect solution.
The next time she asks you to look after them, say no. And tell her that you can't handle them....they are too rowdy and it takes too much out of you.
You can't insult a woman more than by telling her that her kids don't measure up.
You'll not see her again.
Re: My new neighbors
Ms Manoor, I think I understand where you're coming from because I'm much the same way. Cant bring myself to be what I consider "rude" even to someone I know is blatantly taking advantage of me. I've found though that these people do not understand subtle hints and need to be told or shown outright that what they're doing is wrong.
There are some less uncomfortable ways of dealing, you just have to get a bit creative. Like around naptime, write a note and tape it to the door - "Please do not ring or knock, this is household rest time".
WHen she tries to dump her kids on you, tell her oh my I'm so sorry but I was just heading out to have a beer with my friend. Then go off on a drive around the neighborhood or stop by the mall or grocery store for half an hour.
This MAY work, it may not. There was one nightmare couple that we had to deal with very blatantly and rudely, it got to the point that the husband, when he knew someone was home, would knock on the door, ring the bell incessantly and if no response, would go around the house looking in all the windows. The last straw was when he was peeping in, I was home alone with my infant and had just gotten out of the shower. He was actually very creepy about it, almost like a stalker. My husband read him a riot act and he finally finally disappeared.
Inshallah it will not get to that point with your neighbors. But do take matters into control now, as it will only get worse until you do something.
Re: My new neighbors
ps another thought. When you tell her so sorry, you're heading out to have some beer with friends (lol) you can hand her a note paper with the phone numbers of nearby day-care centers or babysitting services.
Re: My new neighbors
we live next door to goray! just count urself lucky!
Re: My new neighbors
whats wrong with living next to goray kazi? I'm a gori and i think we tend to leave others alone and want to be left alone ourselves. Is that the prob? or something else?
Just curious....
Re: My new neighbors
Just curious....
Our Goray Neighbours like to keep themselves to themselves (and thats what i don't dig...the whole just a nod...but no real interaction thing)...cos we moved from a paki area into a posh white area- its difficult to not feel out of place....but hey....more pakis r moving in a few doors away....woohooo....
BTW..one of my Uncles is married to a gori....so its all good
Re: My new neighbors
You can't insult a woman more than by telling her that her kids don't measure up.
You'll not see her again.
\
i dont think it's right to insult a neighbor. like i mentioned before she has to live with her ..practically.
I think it is a good idea to say that her kids are very active and she finds it difficult to keep up with them. Wording it this way might not sound as harsh.
Re: My new neighbors
Just tell her that you are not a baby sitter, you can't take care of the kids everytime she has to go somewhere. You have your own things to take care of so you can't entertain people like that. Tell her that there are many child cares over here and she should contact them.
Next time when she comes at your nap time or when you are busy just tell her you are busy at that time and you'll talk to her whenever you get a chance.
Re: My new neighbors
lol@ beer with friends. that should do the trick...i know that i wouldnt want my kids around beer guzzling "muslims"
Re: My new neighbors
teehee! yes thats exactly it! I mean, you can even tell her that you COULD bring her kids along but well its not exactly what you'd do with your OWN kids, being a bar and all. But well here you go, here are the numbers of local sitting services, give them a call and they can help you out. And well ta-TAH! I'm off to guzzle some alcohol - bad bad me! see you later, buh bye!
Re: My new neighbors
that def would be the perfect opportunity to give the neighbor numbers of some local babysitters or day care providers...lol.
i think this plan might just work :D
Re: My new neighbors
kazi please do not take it personally that the neighbors arent all that interactive. Thats just the way of life for gorahs. Time is just so precious and limited here that we all prefer to have our families to ourselves. It is very different here and although I am and was raised gori, I almost wish for worldwide famine or something that would make things different, more like the way they are "over there" in Pak, where family is what matters and they all live together for better or for worse. But alas life here is so fast paced and hectic that there isnt even enough time for family, let alone neighbors yeah?
Re: My new neighbors
good point....it's not like back in pak where all the neighbors know each other and spend time with each other. Here... the average american home is a double income home. People are working over 40hrs a week and then they have to take care of the homes and spend time with their kids. Unfortunately there just arent enough hrs in the day to spend chatting with your neighbors. An occasional hi hello should suffice given the hustle n bustle lifestyle we live in.
Re: My new neighbors
And to an extent I agree with you...alot of goray find it difficult to communicate with their own families...let alone paki neighbours LOLz....its not about being fast paced and hectic...cos my life is also like that....as im sure many other brit-paks r too...but its definitley religious/cultural influence that makes ethnic communities take time out for families....the pakis/indians, afro-carbs, hispanics, chinese, italians...etc...all seem to live "all for one, and one for all"... Thats something which has definitley been slowly erased from the indigenous english culture...shame...
My gori auntie...loves the whole family thing
Re: My new neighbors
It takes a special kinda gori to marry into a desi family and be happy. :)
Re: My new neighbors
my bro in law got married to a gori...but she cheated on him...and they got divorced....sad thing is that they had a kid.
Re: My new neighbors
i agree....desi's have wayyy to much baggage!