So over the summer my brother in law got married. At the wedding I went up to the bride to say hello, congratulate her and tell her she looks very pretty etc. she did not respond to anything I said! Not even walaikum salaam. I asked her if she recognized me and all I got was a blink and she didn’t even look up. I felt like an idiot. Just walked don the stage.
I don’t get it! This girl had an hour long conversation with me over the phone a few months before and then she pretended to not even recognize me.
So I told her sister and mother that I think she doesn’t know who I am, so can you please introduce us. So her sister took me up to her and I reintroduced myself, said salaam etc and again she didn’t even look up. Am I crazy or was that just rude?!
The whole time her family kept complaining how we never came to their house so she doesn’t know me. Ok don’t complain to me because I just got to Pakistan plus my mother in law and brother in law were the ones who cancelled dinner at their house, which I protested will look rude. Mil kept putting off going to her house every time I asked her to make plans.
I didn’t get a chance to talk to her after that…other in law problems not related to her too long of a story.
Re: My new devrani...
Maybe someone's already bad mouthed u to her. Or maybe she was trying to concentrate on some really important conversation going on around her, like mil in the background trying to hog the salamis from her son while she wasn't looking. Or Maybe it was something really simple like she was trying to concentrate on blinking her contact lenses back into place and u caught her in the middle of it. Take ur pick. There's no point discussing why u didn't meet her before the wedding because that doesn't matter. She's getting married into the family now and ur meeting her now so she should blink on her own time and say walaikum assalam now. I wonder what goes on in their households all their lives to make them into such awkward individuals.
Re: My new devrani...
Ok.. wedding day and being on the stage is a big deal. Maybe she was nervous and didn't want to talk. Did you try talking to her after the event?? I met my devrani at the shaadi event too the first time. I don't expect her to be all chatty. Talk to her after she comes home.
Re: My new devrani…
Lol at blinking and mil hogging the salaami money 
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There wasn’t anyone around on the stage when I went so I have no idea. I didn’t get to talk to her after because I left my in laws’ house that night after the wedding. There was definitely some animosity about that cancelled dinner though. Not even my fault! It’s was her own husband who made us cancel it.
Re: My new devrani...
Well, is it about Pak? As far as I know, its just a custom/tradition sorta thing... Brides usually dont reply or smile back, some are quite stiff too lol and dont give poses to the cameraman or photographer!!
It would be more problematic if you two haven't spoken to each other since that? So tell me, besides that, how is your relationship with her?? Did you get any chance to speak to her?? or Explore her more?
Re: My new devrani...
Well, is it about Pak? As far as I know, its just a custom/tradition sorta thing... Brides usually dont reply or smile back, some are quite stiff too lol and dont give poses to the cameraman or
^What Queen said above. Plus it could be nerves/stress from the hectic wedding preps all the way to the anxiety of being on stage and having all eyes on you/judging you etc. I admit it's easier said than done and we all have to push ourselves to give the benefit of the doubt to the other person and move on; it's usually not the immediate reaction and requires a conscious effort. Even if she was deliberately pretending not to know you, she can't continue the act forever. She will have to interact with you afterwards; it's unavoidable. It's stressful being a newcomer...so be the bigger person and try to make her comfortable.
I wonder if some mothers/sisters who have had bad experiences with their in-laws give "tips" to a girl about to get married...tips that are only about how to look out for yourself and don't focus on developing relationships.
Re: My new devrani...
I do not see any issue of such. You said hello and she did not reply. Maybe in her family, a bride is not suppose to chitchat on the stage? And if that is the only time you two communicated, I think you're a bit fast to pass judgements on her. You could have given her a call after the wedding. I fail to see the issue.
Re: My new devrani...
What's the issue here? Have you had any sort of conversation with her after the wedding day? Perhaps she was just feeling emotional, nervous and stressed out. I got married recently and I was so stressed out- at times I was a blank, staring zombie! Maybe she was not in the mood for chit-chat, but it's forgivable especially considering the fact that this took place on the stage at the wedding day.
Re: My new devrani…
I didn’t pass judgement on her 
. Arzi, I don’t think I wrote anything that explicitly hints passing of judgement. I was just wondering. Maybe it is a Pakistani bride thing. I just have never came across such a shy bride I guess.
Anyways, my husband is not on good terms with her husband, so I was not able to talk to her after that. Perhaps in the future some day I will.
I just didn’t know brides can still be so shy nowadays . We had a good conversation when I did speak to her prior to the wedding once on the phone, but then I tried contacting her so many times and texting her, she just ignored them all. So I just sort of gave up after that.
NOT passing judgements, I just felt it was maybe rude to not respond to even salaam, but whatever I guess.
Re: My new devrani…
you clearly mention, your husband doesn’t have good terms with her husband, what if its her husband who may have stopped her to be close to you for the same reasons?
See, you are her inlaw and getting close to “existing” inlaws is sometimes a tough time for a newlywed girl. You feel awkward because you know who you are and how would you treat her, she doesn’t because she doesn’t know you that well. She probably keeps distance to avoid any misconceptions at the initial and such a delicate stage of her marriage. You know that the most crucial time of your marriage is the most initial stage when you are balancing your boat when you have just started it. Perhaps she is avoiding a mistake that “I” just couldn’t in the beginning LOL…
Re: My new devrani...
Lol queen that could be a possibility! Although I doubt it since bil and her didn't really talk prior to marriage. It's all confusing. I do sympathize with her though she has to live with my sil :p. poor girl.
Re: My new devrani...
Lol queen that could be a possibility! Although** I doubt it since bil and her didn't really talk prior to marriage**. It's all confusing. I do sympathize with her though she has to live with my sil :p. poor girl.
That's what u think.
Re: My new devrani…
thats not even normal behaviour…maybe a simple reason might be this k the makeup artist might have asked her to not talk much n she took it way too seriously (base khrab ho jaey gi bla bla..thats crazy) anyway,was she talking to other people?
Re: My new devrani...
Before Marriage she was not your dewarani
But starting the day of Marriage she officially became your Dewarni
Although she should not behave the way she did , there is some one defiantly bad mouthed about you to her
Might also be your brother in law :D
Re: My new devrani…
Haha according to bil they didn’t talk because he complained to me once she doesn’t talk, but maybe they did who knows. Well the problem with my husband and bil happened the day day after the wedding and it was because of other people in my in laws’ family, so I don’t think he bad mouthed me to his wife to be before. I really think it might have been that cancelled dinner or she was instructed to be shy maybe who knows lol. She was happily eating on the stage. I can’t eat if I am nervous 
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Re: My new devrani…
I would just not care if my husband is not at good terms with the lady’s husband i.e. his brother in the first place. All I would care about is shadi ki tasveeryan kaisi ayee hain 
, enjoy post shadi dinners (if any-or enjoy my few days stay in Pakistan with shopping loads and eating out) and wait for my flight back home and be happy I attended a wedding back home and had a break of few days from my routine life 
Re: My new devrani...
I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you.