My LOSS that I couldn't take

aneela · April 3, 2012, 12:56am

Re: My LOSS that I couldn’t take

I have been missing my first love. There is NO WAY I can be with him ever but I still feel the urge to reconnect with him. I dont do it. However, I know that I am wasting my time even by bringing him up here. The loss was so painful and I am not fully recovered. He turned out to be any other guy who provided me assurity of marriage being in the family. After the incident, I don’t trust my decision of finding myself a husband so I left it up to my family. The final decision will be mine though. I put him above myself and all of my dreams were shattered. The wounds never go away as I try to be as normal as possible. I read Quran and pray for myself but it doesn’t help me to the point where I can forget him. I will blame myself for going bawal gardh on a guy because no person is worth going crazy for. Extreme level of anything is always unhealthy and painful. I have lost him and still can’t cope up with the loss but I try to stay very happy in life. I hope this feeling of losing him fades away when I get married one day. I am not going to tell my husband about him because present and future should be the concern. My heart bleeds for him even he treated me unfairly. I gave this authority to him myself even I had men after me. Can you really get out of the phase where you have lost something beyond special even it might not existed in reality because of the person’s two faced life. My heart has been in severe pain from the time he has been gone. Unnecessary stress can really make me look old and I wanna look young forever!!!

Don’t miss him!