I think I was unclear so you guys misunderstood what I meant to say. I'm not by any means saying I don't want to be married to him or that I'm worried about people, income or anything like that. What I meant to ask was if people sometimes change back to their old self and if I did, would that reflect my marriage and how I keep myself motivated - Hence, that's why I said that I should post it in religion forum instead of here.
Sorry guys!
After reading your story, what comes to my mind is that when you'll be together with him, you'll benefit from his company and draw the strength to maintain the changes you've made for the better. Don't worry about people who criticize ulema or say anything about them. From what I've seen around me, for anyone who does criticize them for the sake of it, there are many more who get good guidance from them and give them ample respect. Many people from all walks of life are benefiting from their advice. At least in my immediate surroundings, anyone who bashes ulema for the sake of it doesn't have much respect from the community either (or will quickly lose it, regardless of the types of degrees he holds). Unless he does something out of line, inshAllah everything will be fine.
He's also planning to go to university, so he is also working on acquiring means to support you and your future family. If this arrangement is ok with you, him, your families and everyone who is directly involved in supporting you, then it's nobody else's business. My brother is in a similar boat. He's also studying to become an aalim, though he went the opposite route and became an engineer first. I wish you both a happy and successful marriage and a good life in both this world and the aakhira.
Madinahme, people go into marriage for a variety of reasons. People enter marriage after leading different sort of lives. Some enter young, some old, some battered, some bruised. Some experienced. Some not. Etc etc. Some might be going through phases, some might be completely clear about what they want. All of that doesn't matter. Once you are in sweetheart, you are in. The problem with long distance exactly that - Distance.
I have a feeling I am going to actively follow what I'm about to tell you now. First clear this following concept in your mind:
*"This is my husband. He is my life partner. He is the person I am most probably going to grow old with. Compared to other people: parents, siblings, children, friends, colleagues, acquaintances - this is the person who will be around for the most part of the life I have left. I will share all that time with him. That is what a marriage means. That is what it means to be married to him. THAT is the commitment I signed and agreed to with pure heart. And that is what he agreed to as well. I am all of that for him too. THAT is the real perspective"
*
Once this is understood by you, and I am not saying you dont understand it already. Sometimes even the most basic, common sense things aren't really smack in our faces since they are so basic. And this is one of those basic things. Once that is understood by you, word it as you want and paste it somewhere you look everyday in passing. Perhaps your compact, perhaps the washroom mirror. Whereever. I will probably put this or something representing this thought on my mirror. :) Since I don't want everyone to know what it is I'll word it differently but I'll make sure that whenever I see it I know exactly what it means and this concept is recalled in my mind word for word as I best understand it.
It helps to keep such reminders around to show us the true picture.
Allah keep you
mashAllah mubarik for coming into somebody ( who is future aalim) s nikah ur half deen is going to be complete and this is shaitan who s bringing these waswisas in ur heart dont worry abt them , u shd know u r getting married to an aalim and dear a person whos has better understanding of deen cannever push u for anything until u want it urself x good luck i m so excited abt ur marriage past is past its dont dont worry abt the future as who knows we ll tommorrow r nt worry abt the present u r in
As everyone said, this is your marriage and since rizq come from Allah alone..Insha'Allah he will make arrangement for you guys. So Insha'Allah may you and him be happy. Don't worry about anyone else. Do you know the hadees about tieing a camel and then relying on Allah. I just think, before getting married one suppose to have good means to support you. It is good that you guys can live off from his parents' and some savings but trust me..self reliance is very important as well. Especially in this day and age where everything is unpredictable and lives of each individual is unpreditable. All I am saying is, since he is becoming Aalim he should at least pay attention to his way of living as well. Allah doesn't ask us to sit in our Jan e maz and do dukr 247 and rely on Allah to give you right there and then. I know this guy through somebody. He is studying to become Aalim part time as well as doing his undergrad degree part time as well. And Mash'Allah he works too. Anyway this is just my opinion and no way shape and form to give you any advise on anything. Insha'Allah may you both be happy ever!!