By Br. Jamal http://www.torontomuslims.com/outside_display.asp?http://www.islamonline.net
I was six years old when my mother accepted her Christian faith. My father on the other hand didn~{!/~}t dedicate himself to any specific church, but his beliefs were based on the trinity. For approximately five years my family would go to church every Sunday. By the time I reached eleven years old, the only two people in my family still attending the church were my mother and I. I went to church every Wednesday & Sunday, taking bible study classes and learning scriptures. I went to a church summer camp and went to the altar and accepted Jesus into my heart. I really didn~{!/~}t have a concept on the whole trinity, but I had a lot of questions that couldn~{!/~}t be answered. I would ask my teachers ~{!0~} How could Jesus be the son of God, when he was a man like me?~{!1~} But there was absolutely not one person in this church who could answer my question. The only answer given to me was, ~{!0~}I walk by faith and not by sight.~{!1~} This was aggravating and not the type of answers that I was looking for. I beg my dad to let me stop attending Church, and the answer was, ~{!0~}Church is good for you.~{!1~} This was funny, because if it was good for you, then why did he stop attending? I left the Church at 13 years of age although I still wanted to worship God, but where would I start?
When I turned fourteen I started getting into lots of trouble, doing anything from stealing, drugs, and drinking. At this point I started thinking why try and be good if I don~{!/~}t even have a religion anymore. From this age until eighteen I got involved in gangs, selling drugs and even robbery. I moved out of my house and rented an apartment with two friends, this is when my life went downhill. I went to one of my friend~{!/~}s houses that was a non-Muslim and saw on his bookshelf a Quran. This book looked powerful and was very intimidating to me, but I had the urge to pick it up and start reading. My friend asked what I was doing and I told him I never saw a Quran before, inside of my head I was thinking this is the religion of the Arabs. I asked him if I could borrow it to read, and he replied no but if you want to buy it that~{!/~}s cool. I bought my first Quran for $2.00 and rushed home to read. I remember going to my room and locking the door. I remember the first thing I wanted to know was what did they say about Jesus. The verses that I read were so beautiful and I agreed with what they said in totality.
I had been reading the Quran off and on now for two years and it was time for me to see the mosque. I called one of my good friends and asked was I allowed to go to the mosque. He rushed to my house that day and took me with him, what a beautiful place this was. I walked in and asked him where do we sit, and he said follow me. We sat on the floor and waited for the prayer time to come. I was so curious, I couldn~{!/~}t stop looking around. I asked him ~{!0~} where are all the women~{!1~}, he smiled and said behind us. I was thinking: how weird, why don~{!/~}t the women and men sit together? At this point they were calling the adan (call to prayer). I didn~{!/~}t understand what it meant, but it sounded so beautiful and sent chills through my body. This adan that I had no idea what it meant is what put in my heart a softness that I never felt before. I saw everyone praying as I sat on the side. This made me think that I could not be a Muslim. I don~{!/~}t speak Arabic and couldn~{!/~}t understand a word they were saying. My friend explained to me that I could learn Arabic and pray just as they did. After this experience, I left and was kind of confused. I was discouraged that I would have to learn Arabic in order to read the Qur~{!/~}an in its authentic text.
I started going back to my old ways and began doing drugs and drinking. But there was something different now, every time I would do something bad I would think of God. I tried to get it out of my head but it wouldn~{!/~}t work. Not too happy with everything I heard about Islam, I read on every one of the major religions, all of them seemed weird or contradicting. I read about Islam again and now it was different, I felt in my heart this is real. I found out that they only believed in one God, and they were very strong about this. Once again, I went to Dar Al-Hijra to a Sunday class they had. I remember not knowing where to go so I stood in the lobby and kept reading the same scripture engraved on the wall. The Imam came and asked if could he help me, I asked where the class was and he directed me there. I sat in the class and saw lots of non-Muslims asking questions. I just listened and left with my friend. My friend had actually been someone from my past whom I would hang out with frequently. He had accepted Islam two years ago. I went home and wanted to cry because I wanted this so bad, but I knew I had to stop drinking and doing drugs before I accepted the faith.
About two years went by and I was reading here and there, but nothing serious. One day my mother begged me to just go back to the church for one service. I agreed just to make my mother happy, but when I walked in the church it was as if everyone knew that I didn~{!/~}t believe in the trinity anymore. I had a person who was in the church congregation whom I had known for some time ask me over and over to accept Jesus in to my heart. I refused, and then he asked me why? I wasn~{!/~}t knowledgeable enough to back Islam up so I said I~{!/~}m just not ready. The man replied ~{!0~} son, you have to catch the fish, then you clean it, then you cook it, and after all that you eat it~{!1~}. What he said was so true, but not for this church. This is what inspired me to want to accept Islam. I knew that in my heart I was a Muslim, but where do I go, and who will give this to me. I didn~{!/~}t know what to do. So after a while, I once again went back to drugs. One night, I went out and I was so drugged up and drunk, when I came home and looked in the mirror. What I saw scared me. I couldn~{!/~}t even recognize my own face. It was as if I was looking at one of those people on the streets who are strung out. I fell to the ground and cried, wondering what had happened to me. I felt sick and disgusted, how could I even walk into that mosque again? I thought I wasn~{!/~}t good enough to be a Muslim. I prayed all night, begging God to help me to be a better person and to help me with this situation.
The next day, I was sitting in my living room, when I heard a knock on my door at 11:00pm. I looked through my peephole and saw my friend who was already Muslim. This person was someone very beloved to me, and I fully trusted him. He came into my house and began to speak to me about Islam, at this moment I was crying inside wanted to just say yes. We talked about four hours and after that my best friend and I accepted Islam. This was the best decision I would ever make~{!-~}
"This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. " al-Qur’an 5:3