Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
I don't understand, its all good and trendy to mock lifestyle of religious people, comment on it, ridicule it, pass your judgments...but the same religious folks will be shred into pieces if they comment on what you call a 'liberal lifestyle'? Who set the standards? Who decides how one should live their life? You talk about intentions, shall we have people discussing the intentions behind your constant mocking of one particular religion and culture?
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
In your cousins case it was all for good , but her husband is implying that people become religious to exploit women and I quote :
and she is saying :
I don't think she's wrong, it happens in a lot of families, especially in previous generation all the uncles I know are more knowledgeable about Islam than their wives so they easily subdue them using religion. People have been doing this for centuries, using religion, taking things which suit their purpose to manipulate others less knowledgeable than them.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
I don't think she's wrong, it happens in a lot of families, especially in previous generation all the uncles I know are more knowledgeable about Islam than their wives so they easily subdue them using religion. People have been doing this for centuries, using religion, taking things which suit their purpose to manipulate others less knowledgeable than them.
Then those uncles and those people are not religious and pious , they are hypocrites/munafiq , using religion to suit their ulterior motives is one big sign of a munafiq.
Please do not lump those munafiqs and real pious and religious people together.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
I don't understand, its all good and trendy to mock lifestyle of religious people, comment on it, ridicule it, pass your judgments...but the same religious folks will be shred into pieces if they comment on what you call a 'liberal lifestyle'? Who set the standards? Who decides how one should live their life? You talk about intentions, do you want people to talk about your intentions behind your constant mocking of one particular religion and culture?
Next time you might want to try to understand the actual message rather than jumping to conclusions and throwing insults at the very person starting the thread and yet claiming to be the victim of it at the same time. Wah bhai wah!
I am ignnoring your childish insults directed at me because this isn't meant to be a religious discussion. This is a display of unusual use of religion/culture to justify their boyish behavior yet facing no consequences as a result of it. If you have an issue with how secularists/liberals like to mock others' lifestyle please create your own damn thread. I will be happy to indulge in a debate there.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Then those uncles and those people are not religious and pious , they are hypocrites/munafiq , using religion to suit their ulterior motives is one big sign of a munafiq.
Please do not lump those munafiqs and real pious and religious people together.
Exactly, they are not!
what's with the sudden change in behavior? What is it that kids do that turn men into mullahs? Just wondering..
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
So yesterday he says to me, "I think the reason **most Pakistani men become religious/maulvi once they are married and have kids **is so they don't have to do anything around the house and they can order their wife around. At the same time, everybody else around him does nothing but compliment him for being such a pious man" The funny thing is I have this happen a lot in my extended family.
I have to somewhat agree with the bold part of his observation but not with the reason that he quoted. I turned more religious because of the fear that if I dont correct/discipline myself, what example would I be creating in front of my kids. If I am not good muslim, yes I will get punished (in after life), but if I raise not-so-good muslims, they will be punished (god forbid) because of me. That thought is extremely painful for me. That is why, every single day I force myslef to become a better human and better muslim.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Then those uncles and those people are not religious and pious , they are hypocrites/munafiq , using religion to suit their ulterior motives is one big sign of a munafiq.
Please do not lump those munafiqs and real pious and religious people together.
yeah...and these types are usually obsessed with pardah etc.
Re: My husband’s theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Thank you! That does explain it… Why does the realization come so late though?
Again it’s a win win situation for these men. They can force their wives to do parda, not have to do anything around the house, don’t have to look after their kids in case the wife is busy doing something. There are many positives to turn to religion this late. I can’t help but wonder if this is also a part of their intent.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
This is a display of unusual use of religion/culture to justify their boyish behavior yet facing no consequences as a result of it. .
As per my belief they will be punished for being a hypocrite on the day of judgement.
I am not saying those kind of people do not exist , they do exist who use religion to satisfy their ulterior motives but they are a minority , not a majority .
Re: My husband’s theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Its not necessary that if one is more actively following religion, he/she forces other to do that too. I have seen couple many times in which one of the spouse (wife or husband) was religious and other one was not.
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
^But they can argue with you over their rights as a husband. They will completely disregard the fact that their desire to become religious didn't come until the birth of their first child. They are not doing anything wrong you can't really tell them they are wrong either. it's very clever to turn mullah at the birth of your child. They are not obliged to help around the house anyway per the scripture itself. Even if their intent is to get away from looking after the kids or helping with the chores, they are not really wrong. Are they?
Re: My husband’s theory about married men joining the Mullah party
to answer the bold red: Because I love my kids more than I love myslef, and if not for my own sake, I like to correct myself for them. This behavior by dads is nothing new. Many dads from western culture cut down on their drinking and stop going to strip clubs and what not after having kids.
To comment on the bold blue: This is an assumed theory on your part. I’ve seen dads who turned religious spend more time with their family instead of doing a ‘boys night out’ with their friends. They help their wife around because they know that islamically its their obligation. Yes, they might expect pardah but I dont remember anyone from my social circle who forced a pardah on their wife, as there are many ladies in our social circle who dont do pardah and hubbies are quite religious
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Next time you might want to try to understand the actual message rather than jumping to conclusions and throwing insults at the very person starting the thread and yet claiming to be the victim of it at the same time. Wah bhai wah!
I am ignnoring your childish insults directed at me because this isn't meant to be a religious discussion. This is a display of unusual use of religion/culture to justify their boyish behavior yet facing no consequences as a result of it. If you have an issue with how secularists/liberals like to mock others' lifestyle please create your own damn thread. I will be happy to indulge in a debate there.
If only you start presenting your "messages" without pulling out some lame ass stereotyping of Muslims/desis.
I live in what they very much call a Godless country but the first thing they teach is how to respect other cultures and religions....its a gift to be curious but its a serious disease to be all bias and bitter. You as a self proclaimed westernized secularist liberal hippie pass such offensive conclusions and gross generalization on one particular religion and culture that its make me wonder either you post all this from a remote town in Gujranwala or couple of famous stereotypes they have for Americans is true. Why do you target Muslims and desis so obsessively, even though you've branded yourself as someone who has nothing to do both groups of people? Its a genuine question.
Re: My husband’s theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Makes sense.. :k:
I guess I just happen to know the other kind that likes to spend more time outside with the “boyz” at the masjid or wherever they claim to be. Every single of them forces their wives to do parda and feel violated if asked to help around the house. AND mind you, they were NOTHING like this before they got married. They spent their youth partying hard..So yeah I don’t know. I see this happens too much so I wonder if this stems from their desire to be housechores-free. lol
Re: My husband’s theory about married men joining the Mullah party
Are you forgetting that I come from the same background/culture as most people on GS? It would be one thing to mock desis if I weren’t one of them, but the fact that I am one of them and unlike you I have more than likely spent more time living among muslims and desis than yourself. This is a f***** forum and you have as much right to open a thread mocking liberalism as I have to open a thread mocking some people, though I am not mocking anybody. It’s a simple observation.
How do you know I don’t respect others beliefs and cultures? I have the means to get the f*** out of where I am. I don’t need to play nice with the rest of you. I don’t need to live with other desis/muslim but i do out of love and respect anyway. It’s people like you who get into others’ countries and push your own beliefs and put forth your conditions that make no damn sense. As if the land you walk on belongs to your daddy! If it weren’t for us secularists, you wouldn’t even be where you are so shut your trap..
Re: My husband's theory about married men joining the Mullah party
I guess I just happen to know the other kind that likes to spend more time outside with the "boyz" at the masjid or wherever they claim to be. Every single of them forces their wives to do parda and feel violated if asked to help around the house. AND mind you, they were NOTHING like this before they got married. They spent their youth partying hard..So yeah I don't know. I see this happens too much so I wonder if this stems from their desire to be housechores-free. lol
I am not going to deny that I've seen that happening too. As much as I respect Tablighi brothers, I hate the fact that some of them (very little percentage though) leave their wife and kids, some times up to 4 months, to go on worldwide tablighi trip. Many of the wives dont even know how to drive and when they ask their hubbies who is going to take care of us, they say Allah and his angels.
I cannot tell you how angry I got when my wife recently told me one happening like this from with in our social circle. Sad part is that wife of that incident did not even know how to drive and had a small kid.
Now I know that it sounds stupid and to be honest, it is. But such happenings are not as common (even amongst tablighis) as you think. My own BIL is somewhat tablighi but for him, his daughters and his wife (my sister) are the priorities. he never forced my sister to do pardah, in fact my sister does hijab and my bil kinds of disagree with her to go to such extremes.
Point is, you can find all kind of good and not so good examples in any aspect of life.
