Re: my husband is behaving like a jerk, what do i do?
divorce jerk huzband.
Re: my husband is behaving like a jerk, what do i do?
Put everything aside..what is more important to ya? your husband or your male friend. I am a guy..and i tell ya this much..no matter how close i am friend with my friend..i wouldn't be comfortable with the idea of my wife going out with him for lunch. And lets reverse this situation...would ya be ok..if ya're husband goes out with your close friend for lunch?. The point is not party or even having lunch. The fact is..he loves you and cares about ya.
Re: my husband is behaving like a jerk, what do i do?
Maybe I'm wrong......but if it makes him this uncomfortable, drop the matter. Get birthday boy a gift and give it to one of your friends, so that she can give it to him on your behalf; this will compensate for you not attending the party.. It won't be the end of the world.
Also, if you fear that your friends will talk about how your husband is jealous and didn't want you to attend the party.......then that implies that it's because you've told your friends that your husband feels jealous or has issues. I don't think it helps matters to have your friends think ill of your husband/marriage.........because this can influence the way they behave toward him if he's also a part of their social circle.....and it can lead to the spread of "talk/gossip" about your marriage. It's something to think about. If you've only one male friend, you've also only one husband and it's him that you live with.
Now it would be a more serious issue if your husband is like this with any male you interact with...such as a coworker, cousin, etc. It's easier said than done I admit...but sometimes compromising/giving in...can lead to more flexibility/trust down the road and give you more leverage in discussing things with the other person.
Off topic. How do you know so much. You should write a book on relationships. Nice post.
Re: my husband is behaving like a jerk, what do i do?
Well apparently your husband knows your male friend more then you do ... that's why he scaled it down to acquaintance from friendship ... You should have get the vibe and do the same :)
Re: my husband is behaving like a jerk, what do i do?
ok so may be there's a catch here as u say he is ur only male friend and that too a very close one. perhaps this fact is making your husband insecure. there are men who are just fine if their wives have multiple male and female friends but the same men can be very uncomfortable if their wives are friends with just one guy. the question why is she friends with only this one? whats so special about him? etc et. Men think differently than women and at times can think very weird. but this is how some of them are. doesn't mean they are jerk or anything.
also in your case since you said you were friends with your husband before marriage so basically i think how he views this all is as "you have only two male friends in your life, one you fell in love with and got married to and the other one you are close friends with and fond of", so u see he might view this friend as a competition and that's why feels jealous and perhaps insecure. but the underlying basis for all this is that he loves you and might have fear of losing you.
the best thing to do at the moment is to not press him and drop this party thing. as you mention urs is a love marriage after years of freindship i assume communication shdnt be a problem in ur R/S so later on after some time passes by u can perhaps get him to share his feelings as to why he is uncomfortable with ur friendship with this guy and you can address his fears or anything later on rationally.