thanks for the replies. Close.
Re: My friend needs your advice.
eloping is short term planning.....have they thought about the long term situations?
Re: My friend needs your advice.
^what do you mean by long term?
The guy has an apartment and a well-paid job. The girl thinks her father will forgive her after 3-4 yrs. I'm afraid that he will be more stubborn this time around (as he already experienced this with the elder siblings) ..
Re: My friend needs your advice.
WOAH!! uhm i think if she loves him..she loves him regardless of how long shes known him..sometime ppl just have a connection from the word go...so to be honest time is not an issue...
what does this guy do? is he capabale of supporting a family? how old is the girl?
if ur friend is going to elope she needs to be sure...cos if she goes with him her relationship with her parents will be non existent...it seems to me that the dad will not speak to his daughter again...well im assuming this from what uv sed and the threats he has been giving the girls mother...
And also how will the guys family react to her running away to be with their son...i mean they may not be too impressed...i know of one case where because the girl has ran away to be with a guy her new in laws have not accepted her saying she has disrespected her own blood what will she do to us...
Re: My friend needs your advice.
^Valid point asked. I actually dont know what his family will say about it. It seemed from what she told us that the guy has his family in control being the only boy in family.
The girl is early 20's and the guy is an yr older than her.
Re: My friend needs your advice.
hmmm...i mean i guess she needs to be sure in her mind and think about it because ther is a possibility after 3-4 years her father is still not talking to her..and if its happend before then i think ur right he will be less likely to talk to her...but can she deal with being CUT off from her parents especially her mother for...well....life really?
Re: My friend needs your advice.
Why did "Nazia" get into a relationship knowing full well how her father was?
Re: My friend needs your advice.
what if the guy leaves her a year or so even after he has contracted marriage with her? and i tell you there have been cases where that has happened. I think the father is being irrational but then sometimes things happen for the better. both the boy and the girl are in the early twenties in which hormones are doing most of the thinking for the people.
talking to someone and living with someone are entirely two different things.
what if the guy leaves her a year or so even after he has contracted marriage with her? and i tell you there have been cases where that has happened. I think the father is being irrational but then sometimes things happen for the better. both the boy and the girl are in the early twenties in which hormones are doing most of the thinking for the people. talking to someone and living with someone are entirely two different things.
Yes What happens if above mentioned scenario happens.Love or Arranged marriage...It doesn't matter how the couple gets married, but when it gets to the pots and pans of the real world...it all boils down to negotiating and planning. This is not an Indian movie where they show only till the love wins/rules and they live happily ever after.
Why did "Nazia" get into a relationship knowing full well how her father was?
I don't get it. On one hand, everyone is preaching about how there should be understanding, compatibility between two people if they want to have a happy life. On the other hand, if a girl does find compatibility in a guy and develops an understanding with him, then its wrong.
The next thread will probably go like this. "Nazia" wanted to marry some XYZ guy cuz she really liked him but her dad wouldn't listen. She now has a proposal of a great guy and her dad is in favor of it but she doesnt know him v well and doesn't want to marry him.
The responses would be: I can't believe people still live in stone ages where they enforce their will on their daughters. There should be understanding, compatibilty between the people before they marry............... She can do SO much better... please tell the guy to get lost!!
Why did "Nazia" get into a relationship knowing full well how her father was?
I to be honest do not know why she took such a step. I actually only got to know the situation very recently and are still confused about many things.
I remember clearly, that 1-2 yrs ago when her niece had a lovemarriage, she told us clearly how her father didnt approve of that and wants her to have an arrangemarriage. She even said she thought it was the best to do. Plus she has always been kinda "racist" (if we can say so) towards people who are not from Lahore, calling them indirectly paindu and stuff .. and she especially find an area to be very painduish..I think a lot of influence from her father and nowFunny enough, the dude she picked is from that exact area..
Re: My friend needs your advice.
One word: Bhago!
Re: My friend needs your advice.
^kaun bhage?
I don't get it. On one hand, everyone is preaching about how there should be understanding, compatibility between two people if they want to have a happy life. On the other hand, if a girl does find compatibility in a guy and develops an understanding with him, then its wrong.
The next thread will probably go like this. "Nazia" wanted to marry some XYZ guy cuz she really liked him but her dad wouldn't listen. She now has a proposal of a great guy and her dad is in favor of it but she doesnt know him v well and doesn't want to marry him.
The responses would be: I can't believe people still live in stone ages where they enforce their will on their daughters. There should be understanding, compatibilty between the people before they marry............... She can do SO much better... please tell the guy to get lost!!
A mature person gets into a relationship with the full trust and expectations of their parents, anything else and they are setting themselves up for hurt and disappointment and wasting the time of the person.
THAT means for example if your family won't accept a "xyz" bahu under any circumstances, but only "abc" then why waste your time with miss abc?
Likewise I won't get into a relationship with a gora and expect my parents to be hunky dory about it. Life isn't a damn bollywood movie or tv show where everything works out for the best.
When the next thread comes, we'll deal with it then.
Re: My friend needs your advice.
The dad isn't perfect by any means BUT eloping isn't the best way to go about things.
Re: My friend needs your advice.
Personally I am also a staunch supporter of arranged marriage and have never quite seen the merits of failed love marriages despite all the hype about them. But religiously speaking, every man and woman have a right to marry whoever they want.
what kind of relation does the father have with his first wife?
but my advice to "nazia": for the sake of your mother! dont run! thats the worst thing you could do to her ...
what kind of relation does the father have with his first wife?
but my advice to "nazia": for the sake of your mother! dont run! thats the worst thing you could do to her ...
I dont know so much about that. I know he divorced her. I dont know why or when.
I do however know that her stepmother is supportive of her decision if she wanna marry the guy.
Re: My friend needs your advice.
who cares what her stepmother is supporting her with ... i am only concerned about what impact this elopement will have on the REAL mother ...
there is nothing more important than that! if the real mother is supportive, tab baat banti hai ... but does this nazia really care about that? even knowing her father!!! why is she risking her mother's life in this old age!
iv been through things and my father was also a bit like that ... iv had a very topsy-turvy relation with him ... my rebellion towards him was never at the stake of my mother ... though now he knows me better ... lol ... and we get along ... better :) ....
Re: My friend needs your advice.
^thank you so much for the comment. I will surely take it up with her when we see next time.
I really dont think any of us really asked her much about her mother. She seemed so mad at her parents for not supporting her and her quick decisions just made us all very numb.