I have a very good friend. We spend many evenings together. We chit chat , go for walks, go do workouts together. Socially we are at the same level. He comes to my home un announced anytime he wants. Any chance he would get to be in my company he would seize it. Many a times it gets inconvenient and annoying for me but I never showed any kind of annoyance or displeasure. I always welcome him with a smile. My wife treats him as a brother . He will ask my wife to make tea for him many a times ,while he is at my home. She is such an angel too , she never showed any kind of displeasure and never complained to me about his "chai key farmaish" or him coming over any time of the day or night. Yes, daytime too , because many a times me being an IT professional work from home. If he know I will be working from home. He will tell his boss that he will be working from home and he will come over. He is an IT professional too. So he tells me that he sees me as a big brother and a very good friend, he is a little younger than I am. His wife know me very well I have no bad habits , I treat my wife with respect, my kids love me for being a loving caring father. I treat his kids ( he has three) with respect , I treat his wife with respect. So far so good , right ? Now the issue is with his wife. She does not like him spending too much time at my home and in my company. She has many a times shown her displeasure to him indirectly, he knows it, but he does not care. Not that he is not a good father or good husband. He is a very good father and husband too. She has told my wife many a times indirectly that she does not like him spending so much time at our house with me. So the problems is with him not with me, right ? Now the other day he told me that he and his wife were cleaning up their garage, there were some things he wanted to get rid of and she did not. Out of blue he said to her : "Aap yeh apnay jaheez main toh nahi lain theen" for those who do not understand I translate:" You did not bring this stuff as your dowry." She shot back with this. "( My Name here) bhai key dosti aap kay lee-a achee nahi." "( My name here) friendship is turning you into a bad man."
He told me about this whole episode and he was pretty remorseful about what he said to her wife and what she said.
Now this was a blow to my self pride.
I agree that it is a pretty insulting remark for a wife, I will never say it to my wife. This friend's wife knows that I am the kind of a guy who told my in laws when I was getting married that I will not accept anything from their side in the name of dowry. Alhumdulillah I had a well decorated home already when I got married. Therefore they understood and they were very pleased with this gesture of mine and we had a dowry free wedding.
Now what should I do ? Let it slide ? Tell him to cut back on his visits to our home ? I do not have stomach to do that. I do enjoy his company but as I said earlier sometimes I do get uncomfortable too when he comes over un announced at some odd moment. If he does not come over I will not miss on anything I have plenty on my roster to keep me occupied.
Mirch Bhai Sahib you should not take sides in your friend's family argument, staying neutral in these matters is the best policy in the long run.
Plus on the other hand the friend should not be talking about trivial matters that do not concern you if he wants to maintain his friendship...he seemed to have crossed a line that you did not want him to cross......the ball is in your court!