aap maseeha ki khoobiyaaN bayan kar rahey they ya, kaafi zaalim hey:~)... anyhow your first ghazal is ok, keep it up, i think aap nazm zeyada acha likh saktey heiN, :-)
aap maseeha ki khoobiyaaN bayan kar rahey they ya, kaafi zaalim hey:~)... anyhow your first ghazal is ok, keep it up, i think aap nazm zeyada acha likh saktey heiN, :-)
jee han mujhay khud zaati tor pe nazm he pasand hai
anyway
thx
aik kay baad aik ghaoo tayyar rakhta hai
mera maseeha khud mujhay beemar rakhta hai
To me, it started and ended right there ^ You opened it very beautifully, but lost control thereafter. But full marks to you as this is your first ghazal. Someone who has written such a beautiful matla, can definitely compose ghazals. Keep it up deadsoul :)
aik kay baad aik ghaoo tayyar rakhta hai
mera maseeha khud mujhay beemar rakhta hai
khud say mujhay gila wo karnay nahi deta
mujh say shikayton kay woh anbaar rakhta hai
auron ko to buhat woh milta hai pyar say
aur mera shumaar shamil-e-aghyaar rakhta hai
sans bhi roki hai, marnay bhi nahi deta
ajab tarah k wo pass apnay hathyaar rakhta hai
pathar huay qadam, zaban bhi hogayi sakit
najany kaisay meray gird wo hisaar rakhta hai
bhigo deta hai aksar wo sar-e-mehfil meri ankhain
sub k samnay phir hansnay ki takraar rakhta hai
bhulana chahon bhi ussko to yeh pagla nahi manay
aisa meray dil paym, zaalim wo ikhtyaar rakhta hai
this gazal is so beautiful....................waisay mugh ko gazal likhna itna acha nahi aata mager yeah gazal perh kar kuch zehan main aaya hai agar ap ki ejazat to ek sher aur add kar doon...................
bay etebaree hai itnee mare wafa pay isko kay mere
subha sham kay har kaam ka heesaab rakhta hai
To me, it started and ended right there ^ You opened it very beautifully, but lost control thereafter. But full marks to you as this is your first ghazal. Someone who has written such a beautiful matla, can definitely compose ghazals. Keep it up deadsoul :)
ji amal sahab me nay khud bhi yehi feel kia hai k i lost control at end
but as said i like nazm more thn ghazal but i ll try to write more balance ghazal next time
thx for ur comment & time
this gazal is so beautiful....................waisay mugh ko gazal likhna itna acha nahi aata mager yeah gazal perh kar kuch zehan main aaya hai agar ap ki ejazat to ek sher aur add kar doon...................
bay etebaree hai itnee mare wafa pay isko kay mere
subha sham kay har kaam ka heesaab rakhta hai
ji ji bilkul jitnay chahain shers add kardain
and thx for aprction