**Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? **
**Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. **
**Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? **
**Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. **
**A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. **
**Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. **
**Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. **
**Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet! ** Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
**Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College
Banta : Really, what is he studing
Santa : No is not studying, they are Studying him.
*Santa and Banta went for a drive. *
*Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? *
*Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" *
**Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?
*Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? *
*Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. *
*Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? *
*Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. *
*A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. *
*Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. *
*Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. *
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! **
**Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
blood test Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. **
*2nd Child: Why are you crying? *
*1st Child: I came here for a blood test. *
*2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? *
*1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. *
*At this, the second one started crying profusely. *
*The first one was astonished. *
*1st Child: Why are you crying now? *
**2nd Child: I came for a urine test ! -------------------------------------------- Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". **
**Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. ---------------------------------------- Sardar Ji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the rep. Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.. -------------------------------- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. ------------------------------ The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. **
*"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. *
**"I'm 2400 kms from home." ----------------------------------------- A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" **
**-------------------------------- Little Johnny returned from school and told his father that he'd gotten an "F" in arithmetic. **
*"Why?" asked the father. *
**"The teacher asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said '6,'" replied Johnny. "But that's right!" exclaimed his father. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'" explained Johnny. "What the %@*!$'s the difference?" asked his father. "That's what I said!!" replied Johnny. ------------------------------------- TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
** JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
---------------------------------------**
