I have a great 6 year old girl that does not stick up for herself enough.
She is more than happy to be passive and easy going all the time . I think these are great character traits but it is allowing kids to be mean and take advantage of her.
I do not want her to be a bully but, I do not want her taken advantage of. I don’t know if its an issue with confidence, she interacts very well with elders , infact more so than other kids do . She was chosen for a part in a school play out of 60 kids and she did very well.She is also doing very good in her studies. Until, last year people always commented on how confident she is, but lately I hear more compliments along the lines , “how nice and sweet your daughter is”. I would have liked to enroll her in some sports or PE activities but there are none available where I live.
Is it a phase she is going through? anyone else here had a kids like hers?
its good to be polite but I don’t want other kids walking all over her. Please give suggestions for how to teach her to still be nice but know it is ok to stick up for himself.
Has she told you of situations in school where her peers are walking over her or taking advantage of her? If so, then role play those situations with her....so that she understands exactly how she's being taken advantage of and so that she sees you model how to respond in such scenarios. Sometimes when we tell kids to "be confident" or "stop being a pushover"....it can sound vague to them. So, you have to be more specific in explaining and modeling what confidence looks like.
yes, I do role playing with her RV, but the problem here is I can't seem to convince her to do it in actual situations, she does the role playing with me at home, but I don't think she applies it when actual situations arise, she gets upset but lets things slide almost. I am afraid if I am too assertive about applying,she might feel pressurised and stop sharing those incidents with me.
I gave her a small bar of chocolate to eat after she finishes her lunch, as a reward for something. she told me, she took it out of her bag, put it on the table and looked away for a minute,and it was gone. The teacher was there, she could have gone or the teacher or could have asked the 3 other girls who shared the table with her about it, but she didn't neither, possibly because it involved going out of her comfort zone.
Maybe, I am getting too worried, in the past when a child ate her lunch, she handled it quite well, didn't get upset, told the teacher who then took steps to ensure a thing like that didn't happen again. Most of the kids come from big families, they interact with cousins,
and are used to more rough play. She has never been around other kids,she doesn't even have any cousins her age, so I thinks she lacks in this skill. On the contrary, she is able to have a very intelligent conversation with my friends even with people her grand mother's age :)
I don't have a child like that because I am/was that child. Too polite to speak even when something is niggling away at me. 22 years later, I've realised it's bad like real bad. But my politeness means I will never say, so yah I still get walked all over. I get burdened with everything no-one else wants to do because I'll shut up and do it.
I think it all depends on a persons nature, rather than their parents parenting style. My siblings are the complete opposite of me and we have been raised by the same parents. One of my lifes fears is having a child who is like me. I really wouldn't want that because I was never a child, I would want a child who is actually a child.
I don't think cousins/siblings have anything to do with it to be honest with you, I had cousins and siblings but that couldn't change my nature.
She is like this most likely because of two reasons :
a) she is an only child (particularly an only kid in the house)
b) she is naturally that way
I was like that and I was the only kid in the house with plenty of adults taking care of me . I never had to fight for or struggle for anything , I never faced any situation in which I had to compete or fight for my rights. Naturally may be I was not that way because as time passed it got better I started standing up for myself and now it's like "you better not mess with me :)".
my daughter is same like your daughter , any body even half of her size can scare her or take her things away and she will not say a thing. She is also an only kid in the house and I believe that by nature she is like that, she just doesn't like getting into fights if she sees someone in a bad mood or wanting to pick fight with her she will slowly move away and will totally avoid that person even if it means giving up on her possession/things.
Give it time as she will grow it will get better. Ask her teachers to work on this , teachers can play a very major role.