Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
I've heard a Hadith that goes something like if God wanted to make women worship someone else other than God, that person would be their husband. So yea its all fine to obey your husband, but the husband has to act like an entity worth obeying. He has to possess all the attributes of God before he can be obeyed and followed like God.
The husband is neither merciful nor gracious like God. The fact that he curses his wife's family is not something God would do.
So before everyone goes on and on about the rights and duties of wives, remember husbands also have reciprocal duties.
So if the husband is being a stupid jerk, wife has no reason to obey his idiotic demands. He has shown his is not worthy of respect.
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
You are right, it does say that but it also says that if her husband forbids her for no reason then she cannot disobey him. This is the part that disturbs me the most.
And about Hanafi and Maliki business, this same sites gives a fatwa that if the husband follows a particular madhab and the wife follows another then the wife has to follow the husband's madhab in matters of marital relations. So what if the wife is Hanafi and the husband is Shaafi?
Firstly, VAST majority of Muslims on GS are Hanafi so it seems odd you would not mention the Hanafi ruling..
Secondly, the husband has rights but so does the wife.. There are certain lines he's not supposed to cross despite the point that (generally) the wife is not meant to disobey him..
As others have mentioned it's also about basic respect + compassion.. Why would any decent guy want to see his wife or kids upset (and where is the harm in them mixing with their own family anyway?)..
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
I've heard a Hadith that goes something like if God wanted to make women worship someone else other than God, that person would be their husband.
here is the hadees that you mention:
Qays ibn Sa'd Narrated: I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the people) prostrating themselves before a satrap (governor of a province in ancient Persia) of theirs, so I said: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) has most right to have prostration made before him.
When I came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him), I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Apostle of Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said: Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. [Hadith: Sunan Abu Dawud, 11:2135]
So yea its all fine to obey your husband, but the husband has to act like an entity worth obeying. He has to possess all the attributes of God before he can be obeyed and followed like God.
The husband is neither merciful nor gracious like God. The fact that he curses his wife's family is not something God would do.
So before everyone goes on and on about the rights and duties of wives, remember husbands also have reciprocal duties.
So if the husband is being a stupid jerk, wife has no reason to obey his idiotic demands. He has shown his is not worthy of respect.
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
The Imam said its the husband's right to restrict his wife's movement outside of the house? And people wonder why I have a hard time coming to terms with this religion. Geez.
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
OP stop acting like a kid and believing everything you hear. You are adult enough to know what is right and wrong. The Imam is not an authority on religion and stop blaming the religion due to the jahalat of some people.
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
if if if wife tattles to her family abt husband,, then is it ok for husband to stop wife from seeing her parents? wife shd obey if order is in islamic bounds but if its not within islamic bounds then she doesnot have to obey.
Re: My bff's husband prevents her from socializing or intermingliing with relatives
But Islam QA says the same thing when you search their site. This has reallly affected my iman personally.
I think of why would Allah give such oppressive rights to men? And why would a woman become a sinner if she disobeys her wrong husband? And why is it seens as an act of supreme patience and sacrifice to do such an act for an unreasonable husband?
I really try not to think of such things, but I can't help it.
Why does it affect your iman? That makes no sense because Islam is a religion of common sense I believe.
Everyone knows the role of the mother and father in Islam...how much of a right they have over their children and what responsibilities a child has towards them. So when that part is understood...how does it make sense to believe the husband can prevent a woman from seeing her parents? Does it? No. It doesn't.
