Just because they took off their Hijab and have a dog..doesn;t mean they have completely changed....they still may pray five times a day and may even have stronger faith. It's a different lifestyle when people get married and people sometimes do different things when adapting into a new enviroment. If someone stopps praying, starts smoking and stuff..well, yeah that's bad. But the Hijab bit and the name-bit is a personal choice..it doesn't change what's in your heart. Also, it depends on their reason for doing these things...it might actually make sense.
exactly I started this thread not to point fingers but to figure out why one changes in general.
If you want to marry a girl who wore hijab and you did and after marriage she took it off....what would become of that marriage?
When you marry someone based on their beliefs and values and they change after marriage into someone you dont even know or like...it's quite frightening in my opinion.
I agree with that...and maybe to prevent that from happening..people should talk about it before getting married. On another note.....If a girl wears a Hijab without force and simply for pleasing Allah before marriage....There must be a reason that she completely takes it off after marriage...something must tigger it..hmm..I see that very unlikey to happen without a reason
AE -- It's hard because some of these signs of religious observance are just signs and don't really reflect a person's faith. I knew one girl who wore hijab, ate non-zabeeha meat, and went out with her boyfriend/fiance all the time. They weren't doing "bad" things, but they were out together late and hanging out with friends, etc, before they were married. She wore hijab tho the mother did not.
Then after right before she was married, she stopped wearing hijab and actually really pays a lot of attention to styling and drawing attention to her hair (she has very pretty hair mashAllah).
Anyway, the actions above sound contradictory and a bit hypocritical, but I guess it just means that these sort of outward expressions of religious observance have no relevance for what's in your heart. They don't actually tell you anything. This girl may be as observant, or more so, now that she is married. But either way, in this instance, I don't think she's "gone wild."
AE -- It's hard because some of these signs of religious observance are just signs and don't really reflect a person's faith. I knew one girl who wore hijab, ate non-zabeeha meat, and went out with her boyfriend/fiance all the time. They weren't doing "bad" things, but they were out together late and hanging out with friends, etc, before they were married. She wore hijab tho the mother did not.
Then after right before she was married, she stopped wearing hijab and actually really pays a lot of attention to styling and drawing attention to her hair (she has very pretty hair mashAllah).
Anyway, the actions above sound contradictory and a bit hypocritical, but I guess it just means that these sort of outward expressions of religious observance have no relevance for what's in your heart. They don't actually tell you anything. This girl may be as observant, or more so, now that she is married. But either way, in this instance, I don't think she's "gone wild."
^so true...
it's scary because you never know who you might end up marrying or how much they will change afterwards.
p.s the "gone wild" part in the title was just to get people's attention :D
AE, I have seen that happening both ways. I guess it has to do with a spouse's expectation of the other. Whether it is right or wrong, I can't say, because as an observer I can only make a judgement on the face value.
However, AE, to add on to your thread, just a few days ago, I attended a lecture by an Aalima who was visit our local Masjid from out of town. She was talking about the trend these days where muslim marriages are become weaker and divorces are becoming more common. She attibuted this downfall to lack of practice of religious values by both spouses and the ignorance of true Islamic guidelines. In the search for I, me and myself, and the incredible "urge" to fit in to the society, we seem to have lost our balance.
So coming back to your topic, what you have observed may be good if we are still comitted to our value system, and bad if we are not.
exactly I started this thread not to point fingers but to figure out why one changes in general.
i am sorry, maybe i didn't understand your initial post properly. but i was so sure it was totally a critical discussion about post-marital changes and of girls with no hijaab and a dog being bad muslims. my bad, i should have gone through your other replies before posting, as you totally changed the questions and ur opinion from the initial post of those people are bad muslims because they change - to - they are not who you married after they change
i am sorry angel, i don't want to criticize you or this thread. it is actually a nice discussion, but ur initial comment just sent me over the edge a little. u see, i AM the person who people will point at and say, 'look, she wears dresses and jeans and she's a bad muslim because of it'. one really shouldn't judge the book by it's cover!
i am sorry, maybe i didn't understand your initial post properly. but i was so sure it was totally a critical discussion about post-marital changes and of girls with no hijaab and a dog being bad muslims. my bad, i should have gone through your other replies before posting, as you totally changed the questions and ur opinion from the initial post of **those people are bad muslims because they change *- to - *they are not who you married after they change
perhaps you did misunderstand my original post because I NEVER SAID THAT...if you go back and look no where did I say "they are bad muslims"
i wasn't quoting u darling, but telling u what ur initial post implied. as i said earlier, i don't want to argue or criticize u, but just give u an advice to not judge people like that!